- Joined
- May 22, 2009
- Messages
- 103
I know this most likely wont help, but I am in the same boat, different model than you so to speak, from what it sounds like. I have everything in the world to live for, yet (it's getting better) but for about a year I though about taking my life almost daily. I will share a little of one small part of my story. I fell in love head over heels. I spent all day and night with this girl for just over two years. One day she told me she was going to another state about 8 hours away, to look at Colleges. Long of the short, I knew something was very fishy, (but I thought to myself cheating on me 8 hours away when we spend all day and night together isn't possible. She left and later that night I called to see how things were and to make sure she made it there OK. That is when she acted very odd and said I have some bad news to tell you, My heart sunk and I said OK what is it? She told me she was Married?!?! I about had a heart attack, she said it was all about the money she did not like the guy but he was going into the military in a week and would get more money and so would she. Married over a government check. Then get this two days before he deployed, my GF at the time asked me to go to dinner with her best friend and her brother. You guessed it, it was her legal husband at the time. After dinner I told her that guy was weird and never looked up and never talked to me, well maybe because you were sitting across from your husband the whole time and he could not handle it. The girl was unbelievable. I broke up with her on the spot, and a year later got sucked back in (She divorced the guy and got an annulment for me how so very nice of her yack!)(I know, I know, i was on drugs literally potent prescriptions written for me though.) Then about two months ago we were together, and her phone rings at 3 A.M. I asked who it was and she said Tim, I had never heard of Tim before and she said he needed a ride to his house because he was too drunk to drive. Then all of the sudden there were also two girl with him, they were just going to drop them all off and she would be back by 5 A.M. at 7A.M. I called no answer. finally she answers said she was set-up by the girls and when they got to the house they locked held the door shut while the guy Tim tried to rape her. She had rips in her underwear and shirt. I firmly believe she did the rips herself. Anyway, I am SO freaking pissed at her who knows what else she has done I ditched her like a deers carcass. I was a fool going back the second time I know. But I hope she suffers for years over me. Sorry I got off topic.
My prayers are with you my friend, because God knows how suicidal that was for me, I was some really sick suicide thoughts, so bad I can't post here, to this day thing of her hurts sometimes but I also get so pissed off that it equals out, I will pray for you as much as I can hang in there it does get better even though it won't seem like that for a long time. You will meet the Women of your dreams ten times better (if it was a women problem) and right now I'm sure you feel like that light at the end of the tunnel will never get there, it does get there. The full range of emotions your experiencing truly sucks, but as other have stated you really should get counseling nothing wrong with crying either, I used to try to make myself cry, and when I was done i felt so much better, Please get some help and remember everything WILL get better, just hang in there, more prayers sent for you my friend.
My prayers are with you my friend, because God knows how suicidal that was for me, I was some really sick suicide thoughts, so bad I can't post here, to this day thing of her hurts sometimes but I also get so pissed off that it equals out, I will pray for you as much as I can hang in there it does get better even though it won't seem like that for a long time. You will meet the Women of your dreams ten times better (if it was a women problem) and right now I'm sure you feel like that light at the end of the tunnel will never get there, it does get there. The full range of emotions your experiencing truly sucks, but as other have stated you really should get counseling nothing wrong with crying either, I used to try to make myself cry, and when I was done i felt so much better, Please get some help and remember everything WILL get better, just hang in there, more prayers sent for you my friend.
