OH NO I AM IN TROUBLE!

  • Thread starter Thread starter -
  • Start date Start date
David; you really do have a death wish, don't you?? Sure, show your wife the list. Just retain a good divorce attorney first, dunderhead.

I am sure that the posters who have answered your question with suggestions about adding up how much she has spent, or how your knife habit has saved you from alcoholism, adultery, or buying expensive guns, etc., meant well.

The problem is all these approaches define your knife buying as being the lesser of two evils. This will get you NOWHERE. Repeat after me: 'My knives are GOOD, my knives are USEFUL, they are NOT evil.'

Avoid confrontation at all costs; that is what got you into trouble in the first place; you confronted your wife with a fact she didn't want to know about. I think Salmon has been banging his head on too many fish ladders lately; his advice to stand tall would probably lead to your reclining. In the dog house. If you are lucky.

'But wait,' you say, 'DC, a woman, advised confrontation!' Well you are correct, David, but DC thinks in a logical, linear fashion. In fact, DC makes me think that there may be some truth in the old adage that doctors spank newborn babies to knock the penises off the smart ones.

Your wife, and indeed, most women, DO NOT think in a rational, logical, linear fashion. Trying this approach can only lead to disaster. Don't try to prove you are right; try to prove that you are still worth keeping around.

Even DC is not completely rational in her thinking, read how she brandished the stick at her BF, and then whisked it out of sight, and kissed him, dangling the succulent carrot in front of him! Imagine a man trying that: confronting his SO, then kissing her; he would need a lip transplant! So, DC can behave as do other woman, she has the advantage of being able to think rationally as well. This is rare. Your wife doesn't have it, David.

Tell us what you have done to make up for your boorish behavior; we will let you know how you are doing.

Ask yourself this question; why did your friend's wife jump all over him, and THEN your wife jumped all over you? Think about it. Hoping this helps save your sorry ass, Walt
 
The other day I saw some kind of cutlery catalog sitting on my mother's desk, so I decided to pick it up and flip through it. I was oohing and aahing at the Benchmade selection (rather, what I don't own from the BM selection), when my mother's ears perked up. She said "are you buying ANOTHER kife? What do you need another knife for? You aren't becoming one of those KNIFE NUTS are you?" Uh oh, quick thinking time -- I don't want my mother to see how much these things cost, and I don't want her to think I'm some kind of freak (Salmon was right, non-collectors just don't understand), so I told her "I work very intimately with my tools and knives. If I work that closely with something every day, I want it to be the best." She said "okay, that's a pretty good reason," and voila, a done deal.

Needless to say, I'm not going to show her any of my receipts -- that would be a plain death wish (sorry David).
smile.gif


Jim
 
I am dying over here!! LMAO

David...here is a secret in dealing with women: this whole thing was a one shot skirmish...you didn't have the ammo ready at the time and you lost. You can't win now...it looks like you are just picking a fight and she knows she won. Your only chance was at the time, not later.
Your best course of action is to let it go, make no further mention of it at all and continue as you have been. The NEXT TIME it comes up ( as a new incident) you may have a chance....but you lost this one
smile.gif

____addendum:
It occurred to me I wasn't sufficiently clear:
Walt is right, so follow this line:
You made excuses, hence....you aren't convinced that what you do is acceptable so not only were you on the defensive from the confrontation, you are defensive about having/collecting so many knives and the money you've spent. My point is that you need to be secure and confident in this. Believe in your soul that this hobby is good....it does not require excuses. Period!



[This message has been edited by DC (edited 10 December 1998).]
 
Don't buy it Dave, she's setting you up!
Pre-emptive strike and deception are your only friends now!

Walt, as always, speaks with wisdom, but his advice to avoid confrontation are the words of one resigned to happy, peacful marriage which exists only until the next time she "catches" you!

Seriously, DC, we know that women never let anything be "new," every argument is simply a continuation of the previous one.

You know it's true Dave, next time you forget to take out the trash it'll be because you were "too busy playing with your knives." Or, maybe this year at Xmas dinner, when you shave once piece of the turkey a little to thick, she'll say "$5000 worth (note the trademark female exageration)of knives and you still can't cut a turkey."

Let this go at your own peril, Dave.. it will come back to haunt you. At least my way, when it comes up it'll be working towards your end!

(TFIC
wink.gif
)
 
Rob...

Nah, his only chance was a sudden all out total blast of logic at the instant the neighbor wife opened her yap. Dave retreated while the women brought in the reserve forces and flanked him. He died on the first attack wave, outflanked and outgunned.

The real enemy is his dumb friend who had to talk money in public
wink.gif

 
Great thread! I hope my wife never asks me how much my knives cost. I'd better not add anything up so I will have plausible deniability. If she does ask, I'll have some strategies thanks to this thread.

Axel
 
Never tell you wife:
1.) How much you spent on anything.
2.)How much better your mothers cooking was.
3.)How much weight she has gained since you met her.
Your life will be much easier.
 
I defer to R.F. Laird, who, in defense of his unpublished book, The Naked Woman(which documents the incredible lack of meaningful contributions from women in the first 99.9% of human existence (reproductive assistance aside) had this to say:

"So I have cracked a few jokes here and there, secure in the knowledge that men have no dificulty in taking humor with their logic. Women, who understand neithor humor nor logic, are not my intended audience anyway."

OR perhaps to Jack Nicholson's character (another writer) in the movie As Good as it Gets, who, when asked how he writes women so well, offers this:

"I start with a man, then I take away reason and accountability."


(present company excepted)
(as always, TFIC)

[This message has been edited by RJP (edited 10 December 1998).]
 
HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAH ROFLMAO!!!

I thought I had got in a good one with the lip transplant, but I must admit you posters have put my sense of humor to shame.

'$5000 worth of knives and you still can't carve a turkey!' TOO FUNNY!!

Hal's three things never to tell your wife are right on also. I would add one codicil to #1, it's sometimes OK to tell her how much you spent on HER, but be careful ('Is THAT all I am worth to you?')

I must claim to diverge slightly from DC's evaluation. I don't think you died on the first attack wave. I think you stood there and plaid mumbly-peg, impaling your feet with each and every one of your knives.

Well written posts, all (sorry for the fish ladder joke, Salmon). Keep it up. Walt
 
I just can't believe that DC admitted that Doc was right....
smile.gif


------------------
Kevin Jon Schlossberg
SysOp and Administrator for BladeForums.com

Insert witty quip here
 
Spark..

Yeah, but he is now constantly looking over his shoulder, jumping at every little noise and and wearing Talonite knee guards.

He'll never get a good nights sleep now *evil grin*


 
DC; I spent well over $5000 this year on knives, and NONE of it on you!! Plus, you spend far too much on makeup, drycleaning, beauty shops, and other needless feminine expenditures. You even spend money on KNIVES, for goodness' sake! Further, I often just sit around the house idle, without a 'honey-do' list; I also watch FAR too much football.

So why don't you come up to Alamo and show me the error of my ways? Memo to self: check with Rob about the delivery date for the Talonite lip guards.

Just be sure to call ahead, cara mia, so I can deactivate the Claymores.
smile.gif
Walt
 
David; how about an update on your circumstances? We are anxious to know how you are doing!

DC; are you going to come visit?
smile.gif


My best to both of you, Walt
 
Well I've watched this thread for a while and have thoroughly enjoyed the advice and humor.

I agree David needs to post a SITREP and Doc, if DC does make it to your place, we'll need a full report here too plus pix!

All kidding aside, there was one attribute David mentioned in his initial post that I don't think folks picked up on. That being some of the knife gifts he presented were to his wife who had retorted that she would really have preferred something else. Great relationships all seem to evidence great communication, listening and empathy skills. Even with that, your SO may not choose to share your interests to the point of participation. I wonder how many knives David gave his bride before that fateful night when her displeasure was expressed in addition to her horror over the cutlery expediture totals. Those who do share like interests must be ever vigilent against the consequences of unbridled competition that may develop. It's a rare couple indeed that can team as partners in life PLUS hobbies and/or business. They do exist but alas, they are rare exceptions.

Been there, done that; have the papers: she got the horses and I got the kids!



------------------
-=[Bob]=-

Bald is beautiful! Rub a dome for luck today!


[This message has been edited by bald1 (edited 13 December 1998).]
 
What's this? Competition..hmmmmmm?

Could this be another tactic for you David?

Perhaps you should challenge your wife to see who can spend the most money on knives in 1999? Yeah, that's it. Wives can never resist a good challenge!

-Rob
 
bald1: You got the kids too huh? It was a rough thing to do back in '74 when it happened to me. I got the kids and the house, she got my Grandfather's pristine '66 Dodge Dart w/9,000 miles on it. I miss the car, dont miss her a bit.
 
Hi;
Doesn't anyone consider that $3280 IS a lot
to spend on knives in a year?
And face it - you're NOT cutting anything
with them. Really.
Just a counter point...I collect knives too.
Ed E
 
Hal:

I was "liberated" in '85 after 13 years and I fought for my boys. The courts weren't generally disposed towards men then and I image it was rougher in '74. Don't miss her a bit either
smile.gif
!

Ed E:

Yeah, 3 grand is a lot at first blush, but I suspect if we all figured what we spent for entertainment in general either as a sum or as a percentage of disposable income, David's outlay wouldn't look all that extreme.

------------------
-=[Bob]=-

Bald is beautiful! Rub a dome for luck today!

 
Hi Bob;
I'm with you...
I think of the `things' I collect as remnants
of disposable income.
I figure if it's really disposable, you can
spend it anyway you want - even frivolously!
Women buy exotic lipsticks or far out hose;
some men buy (evidently lots of) knives...
regards, ED E
 
OK looks like all is cool now. The wife of the other party is not very well liked by my wife and that helped. So the short of the story is my wife said as long as we have our bills paid and she gets basically what she wants we are OK.

------------------
Dave
Scuba Doo
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top