Ok, tired of BORING, huh, well let's spice things up a little

C

Cumberland Knives

Joined
Jul 17, 1999
Messages
285
What is the most outrageous thing you can think of, that "might" ever happen in the world of Knives. Here's a few to get you started.

Mike Turber buys KnifeForums, then gives it away in the May Contest.

Spark pulls off a coup and takes over bladeforums, 1stop, and all of WOW,inc. leaving Mike destitute to the point of carrying only Pakistan

The identity of Mr. Moteng is revealed. And a new Asian threat to the knife industry ensues.

Mark at MJS reveals his secret for customer satisfaction. He has a tiny little man that weaves his hair into knives.

What supernatural powers do I wield to procure a seemingly endless supply of Commanders and Sharpmakers ?

Ok, now line up for the war of BS

------------------
Visit john@cumberlandknives.com

<A HREF="http://www.cumberland-knives.com" TARGET=_blank>www.cumberland-knives.com
</A>
for all your knife needs.
 
All I know is Mr. Moteng is not an Asian Janitorial Apparatus like me. He's probably an Asian Satellite.
tongue.gif
(I felt like saying something random so I could increase my number of posts)

-Chang the Asian Janitorial Apparatus
 
In the year 2000

Chris Reeve enacts a new policy, ALL Sebenza's are now $100

James Matthes with Spyderco will develop the only auto with a Spyderhole

Mad Dog will use INFI steel in his knives

 
in 2001, sebenzanistas unite and overthrow the government of Thailand. renaming it Knifeland. we also overtake Disneyworld and Disneyland. you guessed it, Knifeworld and Knifeland.we also turn Vietnam into a vacation paradise.we simply destroy Eurodisney.we Re Arm Australia and Great Britian.Well, have a lot to do, gotta go.
biggrin.gif

Oh yeah, Cold Steel and Busse join forces and name the Co. Hot busse, enormously successful.
------------------
russ aka bladezealot. a cat almost always blinks when hit in the head with a ball-peen hammer.

[This message has been edited by russ (edited 04-18-2000).]
 
What is the most outrageous thing you can think of, that "might" ever happen in the world of Knives. Here's a few to get you started.
Click to expand...
I use my knife to kill people.
smile.gif
 
or better yet, I use my police utility knife against a police officer. LOL hahahahah
biggrin.gif


------------------
 
The most outrageous implausible thing to happen in the knife world:

WE ALL GIVE UP ON KNIVES!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.and decide that spoons are a better thing to collect.
 
Here is a few,

Cumberland Knives throws in the towel and sells knives above cost after he runs out of sharpmakers. Ya no one would ever believe that
smile.gif


Benchmade, in a radical move, changes it's name to reflect it's new way of making knives. Realizing men are the least efficient workers, Benchmade fires all male employees and hires nothing but females to make and promote the knives. The name then changes to Bitchmade
smile.gif


Moteng finally reveals how it got it's name. Seems long time owner, Les, was peddling knives at a local Gun Show. A consumer was comparing his products with that of another dealer. When asked what the difference was Les exclaimed that his knives were made better and had Mo' Tang.

Fight promoter Don King announces a huge event planned for the center of the upcoming Blade Show to be shown Live via Pay Per View on "first of it's kind" web cast to be shown exclusively to BladeForums members. The center of the Blade Show (which looks like a fighting ring anyway) will be converted into a ring and the various Internet battles, fought over the years, will be converted into a BattleMania! Contenders include, "insert favorite blade celebrities here"
smile.gif


Spark reveals his name is actually an acronym meaning Special People Are Really KnifeNuts. Yes he is so special
biggrin.gif


Spyderco advertises a knife which is actually delivered before the ads hit
eek.gif


Microtech announces a new line of folders which will retail for $49.99
rolleyes.gif


OK your turn
smile.gif



------------------
Best Regards,
Mike Turber
BladeForums Site Owner and Administrator
Do it! Do it right! Do it right NOW!
Show Your Support -Visit Our Sponsors - Click On The Banners!
Visit www.onestopknifeshop.com
All sales from 1 Stop Knife Shop help support this site!
 
hermanknives gets his own forum.....whine&cheese!.......you bring the whine, i'll cut the cheese
biggrin.gif


c'mon mike......it'll be fun
smile.gif


[This message has been edited by HermanKnives (edited 04-18-2000).]
 
Outrageous things? Hmmm...

Mike Turber swears to Lori and Jenna that he is only going to work 12 hours a day...and keeps his word!

Cougar Allen manages to post a message less than 500 words long.

Cliff is wrong, and I am right on a subject. Further, he publicly admits it.

James Mattis gets mad at someone.

Kit 'Master Blaster' Carson announces that henceforth, all his knives will have satin finished blades!

Mike Turber and Spark both shave their heads (with various knives in a test) to show support for bald1.

Donna Barnas announces that she has become a Buddhist, has renounced all violence, and is going to follow in the footsteps of Mahatma Ghandi.

DC admits that she was joking when she said she was going to kill me and plant a tree over me on her farm.

The words 'tactical,' 'best,' 'best for the money,' 'overpriced,' 'overrated,' and 'underrated' are never again used to refer to knives on this forum.

Mike Turber gives away a Mad Dog knife as a monthly prize. Further, Mike personally guarantees the knife will not explode if immersed in salt water, or break if the spine is subjected to pounding.

A thread of only 48 posts occurs, in which the best all time steel (for all uses) is definitively determined. Further, this thread also determines the best manner in which to sharpen this steel.

Vampire Gerbil hangs up his cape, and becomes a liberal.

Tuf-Cloth is found to be an aphrodisiac, thus leading to the many forumite's wives encouraging their husbands to spend more money on knives. Including Cobalt's wife.

I manage to stop being a sarcastic smart ass!

Humbly presented, Walt

 
I've finally made it to States and become a REAL knife maker......

Better yet, AncientSUL and i set up a shop in Hawaii next to TOM MAYO's!
smile.gif


Malaysians!(i know you are there, you ball-less lurkers!) Come out of your shell and act like a man! Stop whinning about how cheap your collection is, that you are a real knife user and not "just a worthless-piece-of-**** collector", That the "POLICE" is going to arrest you because you carried a knife.....YOU POT SMOKERS!

There......A bloody good excuse to bring out the flame thrower!

THE ASIAN FLAME THROWER!
 
Shortly after the long awaited arrival of the Camillus Talon, crime comes to a standstill, as the unexpected side effects of long term exposure to Talonite grant knifenuts superhuman powers.

The cyberknife is actually a transmitter for an approaching alien mothership, and they are pissed.

Blue Ridge stops telling me that their building was hit by lightning, every time an order is late...this is no joke..Wait a minute..refer to talonite effects. I didn't realize I was affected too.

 
The Close Encounter of the Third Kind HAPPENS! Cougar Allen, holding a dehandled, rare Mad Dog with 'notches,' approaches the spacecraft, and is able to use it to open the door, thus proving our societal and technological advancement!! The aliens reward us by giving everyone the formula for 'Super INFI!!'

Walt
 
Here's my contribution:

1. The ultimate steel is discovered which doesn't rust at all, retains it's edge despite being thoroughly abused (think digging fenceposts, slicing through M1 Abrams tank armour, chopping up bullet-resistant glass), and remains sharp enough to shave after all that.

1a. And despite the cheap and easy availabilty of this wondrous new steel, Maddog knives are still made out of 01 because "that's the steel he knows best".

2. The light-saber becomes a reality and is available in both pocketknife and full sword sizes with a device to control the blade length.

3. The waiting time from order to delivery for the new light-saber is less than 1 week despite the thousands of knife-nuts jumping in to order it.

4. The postal and courier services of the world get their act together and stop "losing" our knives.

=====
Laughter- the best medicine
smile.gif
 
1SKS actually sells knives above wholesale, and puts food back on the other dealer's plates.
wink.gif


-AR

------------------
- AKTI Member ID# A000322
 
Vampire Gerbil is revealed to be a 5'5" 98# accountant, with horn rimmed spectacles and a briefcase bigger than he is.
smile.gif


Dave.

------------------
I do know everything, I just can't remember it all right now.

[This message has been edited by Kkimo (edited 04-19-2000).]
 
The Rev Al Sharpton and The Rev. Jesse Jackson come to South Carolina and demand that Walter Brend remove the confederate flag logo from all of his knives.

No kidding!!!

They also want to ban white wall tires plus they want us to stop using the little white ball to knock all of the colored balls around on the pool table.


Bobby Branton

------------------
AKTI member #1000
President South Carolina Association of Knifemakers
President American Knife Throwers Alliance

http://www.brantonknives.com
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top