Ok, tired of BORING, huh, well let's spice things up a little

Tim Herman & "TomW" co-author a thread entitled
"Why can't we all just get along"

Ernie Emerson creates a line of knives made "while-u-wait"
(never mind, it's already done. He makes them.... You wait.)

Mike Turber decides to devote all his time to doing "just one thing"

Sal Glesser decides the hole decreases the steel's integrity.
Replaces it with barbed fish hook.
Claims this aids both opening and closing.
(spydie-sized ampules of morphine included with each knife)

Doc



------------------
Send Lawyers, Guns and Money...
 
What? Me get mad and flame somebody?
tongue.gif


Thou reeky full-gorged miscreant...
Thou wayward hell-hated mumble-news...
Thou puking rough-hewn clack-dish...
Thou fawning onion-eyed dewberry...
Thou gorbellied elf-skinned haggard...
Thou loggerheaded ill-nurtured giglet...
Thou droning base-court vassal..."
Thou frothy idle-headed harpy...
Thou pribbling common-kissing joithead...
Thou unmuzzled rump-fed pumpion...
(from the Shakespeare Insult Generator)

Lets see . . .

I'll get dressed and get set to leave the house without carrying any knives, and The Wife will corner me and ask "Who is she?!"



------------------
- JKM
www.chaicutlery.com
AKTI Member # SA00001
 
mmmmm,

Blade test shaving head eh Walt? LOL, that's really a good idea!

Talonite usage engendering superhuman powers.... that means Walt and I will be the first to feel the SURGE!

Now for a few unfathomables:

-- Microcrapt... er Microsoft actually sells a piece of software with no bugs, that doesn't evolve by rewriting crap into the registry causing crashes, and that actually has a reasonable MSRP! Yeah when cows fly!

-- Linux unseats Windoze as the OS market share leader.

-- Mad Dog makes good on his Navy contract albiet a decade late.

-- Walt marries DC <hehehehehe>

-- Cliff tests a knife he can't destroy.

-- Vampire Gerbil becomes a saturday morning cartoon show.

-=[Bob]=-
 
Bram Frank convinces Webster's to include "Defang" in the latest version of their dictionary.

Pete Kautz and AmerRoss will discover they are long lost brothers.

Forumites will discover Smoke is actually a disgruntled member of Martial Arts Video Review.

Walt Welch with Bram will create a new knife fighting system. "Dermatalogical Knife Fighting".

Andy Prisco will reveal that he is a Texas Ranger and that Chuck Norris plagiarized his life experiences.

James Piorek will reveal his new tactical lingerie concealment system.

 
I got to admit there are some pretty good thoughts here - I'd like to add
1)We all die and go to heaven - and it's one big knife shop!
2) We are actually happy with the knives we have
3) our "significant others" encourage us to spend the rent money for more knives
4) Our kids first words are Sebenza or Spyderco
5) the hip pockets of "Dockers" don't wear out first from the "clips".
6) we all loose interest in knives ( sorry that's a scary thought! )

------------------
Don't wrestle with the hogs - they enjoy it and you get dirty !
Jonesy
 
Reeves is driven out of Australia by Spyder weilding locals who can't afford his knives when paid with Pacific Pesos. Decides instead to invest in Zulu thesaurus.
 
Here's a few more...

Schools start charging the students that DON'T bring knives to school...

I order a Randall on monday and it shows up on friday...

It is discovered that dipping 420 j2 steel is the ultimate steel, as long as you dip the blade in iced cream...

Heat treating can be done at home with a blow drier, and tempering in the microwave...

And finally...

We cn all buy Talonite and CPM steel at WAL-MART!!!!

------------------
"Come What May..."
 
Some company in Sialkot, Pakistan, the home of the $9.95 Bowie Knife, sends some of their production people to ABS bladesmith school and floods the market with first-rate Bowie knives in zone-tempered carbon steel, good hardwood, and brass, for $99.95.

The Blade Show factory knife awards all go to factory knives that are being currently delivered to dealers, and not to hand-made prototypes.

Nobody makes dumb "O.J." comments when I show them a knife.

Nobody cringes in terror when I open a pocket knife to cut some inanimate object.

Women who are otherwise independent and assertive do not depend on having a guy around to have a knife when there's some inanimate object that needs cutting.

People who were teenagers in the fifties discover that a switchblade with a moderate spring is the best pocket knife for arthritic hands and demand that their legislators show some respect for old people by legalizing them!


------------------
- JKM
www.chaicutlery.com
AKTI Member # SA00001
 
Spyderco brings back the Tim Wenger Jr. with an axis lock.

CR introduces a new Sebenza...with a spydie hole. Now it actually opens easily.
smile.gif


People stop getting upset about Sebenzas.

Ditto for Mad Dog knives.

HermanKnives and Lynn Griffith are photographed holding hands at ShotShow 2001. Later there is a weddin' ceremony performed by Kit Carson (bride and groom exchange homemade gifts). The reception is catered by Ben E. Hana.

Cliff Stamp buys an art knife.

Cobalt becomes serious.

Tom Mayo designs an art surfboard that looks like a dagger and is nearly accidently killed by it after it shoots skyward during a wipeout and plummets downward, slamming into Tom as he layed helpless in the surf. Fortunately he was saved by the Mad Dog Neck Knife he was wearing under his wet suit, which absorbed the entirety of the energy from the art surfboard with no observable chipping, although some of the chrome did peel off.

Knife Knuts run out of things to chop and are forced to start cutting things instead.

Ghillie suits become the rage.

The rancher/artist whatever actually BUYS a knife.

Every member of the forum sends me a knife (please--customs only).

The next trend is straight khukris and khukri folders (with C-shaped clips).

Benchmade produces a knife with a thin blade.

Busse comes out with a new Z line of knives where the handles are bent at a 90 degree angle. These new Z line knives are found to be very useful for witching underground water.

------------------
Hoodoo

The low, hoarse purr of the whirling stone—the light-press’d blade,
Diffusing, dropping, sideways-darting, in tiny showers of gold,
Sparkles from the wheel.

Walt Whitman


[This message has been edited by Hoodoo (edited 04-20-2000).]
 
This thread is hilarious! Here's some:

Bernard Levine finally discovers the original Bowie knife, then trades it for a ghillie suit.

Lynn Thompson publicly announces, "Our products are just okay."

James Mattis joins a gang. His posts become extremely confrontational and aggressive, saying things like: "What up wit da trolls? You better check yo'self boy-eee!" and "Yo nigga, I ain't playin'. This belongs in Community, holmes." as well as "Compton east side playaz smack the (expletive) up! Moving to Politics..."

Bill Moran stabs Bob Loveless.
 
I am still laughing at TomW's post from this morning.
I want to add two more aspects.

In addition to Kit/Tim/Lynn collaboration, Darrel forges the steel. Les designs the knife and Tom buys it. (Heck if he did not I'd be game
smile.gif


(Sorry guys I just could not help my self!)


------------------
"Life is too short to carry an ugly knife." Steve F.
 
Oh yeah, big ole honking screws with standard slotted heads
biggrin.gif
Better yet 1/2" bolts.

------------------
"Life is too short to carry an ugly knife." Steve F.
 
Benchmade changes to Bitchmade?!! Mike, I want you to know I had to go change my pants before I could read the rest of the posts!

Busse, by the end of the year, will not only be totally caught up, but will be able to produce even higher quality customs in less than a week. The real delay will be waiting for FedEx/UPS/USPS to get it to ya! And, Like CRK, they'll be less than $100!

Realizing they've been missing a great opportunity, Busse and Cold Steel merge!

Carbon fiber technology is joined with metamorphic camo, thus making the 2" airline limit meaningless. (the camo is real technology that, in some implementations, allows objects to mimic the colors of the background, almost making them invisible). Unfortunately, these knives begin disappearing and it is assumed that they joined those lost in shipping.

No threads are locked for the remainder of the year because everyone agrees on everything! As a result, BladeForums is voted the best website of all, being called the warmest cyberlovefest on the web, a place you want your kids to visit and learn from, leading to changes in all censor software to allow access to all knife and gun sites! Which prompts Clinton and Gore to join the NRA!

Smoky Mountain Knife Works not only gets a reliable website, but starts carrying Benchmade, the top-dollar Spydercos, Al Mar, and Marble knives! The later has actually happened too! I saw them Friday morning and darn near had a heartache. But, they are no where near the prices on the internet.

------------------
Knowledge without understanding is knowledge wasted.
Understanding without knowledge is a rare gift - but not an impossibility.
For the impossible is always possible through faith. - Bathroom graffiti, gas station, Grey, TN, Dec, 1988

AKTI Member #A000831

[This message has been edited by Codeman (edited 04-23-2000).]
 
bald1 when you said DC and I will get married, you forgot to say she will wear a white ghillie suit!
wink.gif
Walt
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top