OT: Farewell to a friend

Sylvrfalcn

Sylvrfalcn

Joined
Jun 4, 2002
Messages
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Got some very bad news this afternoon. A friend of mine took his own life and is no longer with us. I won't go into how or why, it is more important that you know he lived a good life. He loved his family, and his country, and did his best by both. Please pray for his family, and don't worry none about me. I will go to a quiet place in the forest where I've often gone to find strength and comfort. I'll say what I need to say to him there.

Sarge
 
May the peace of the Light be with you Sarge and your friend's family as well.
 
I'll be thinking of you and his family Sarge. I've gone through the same thing myself, it's the absolute purest hell on a family that I know of. I pray for peace of mind to all involved.
 
Condolences to all.

I've lost 3 to that choice.

Long time ago an acronym found it's way to me regarding a person's choices when stress got too heavy on the soul.

The word is PACES:

1 P-Patience- don't do anything and let time pass and put the problem in the hands of whatever you believe to be a higher power. Passing time has a way of changing things and offering solutions.

2-A-Attack- Either a personal confrontation on the stressor or hire a lawyer or some other form of intimidator.

3-C-Compromise- Try to work out a negotiated settlement so you can return to a harmonious equilibrium.

4-E-Escape- Literally remove yourself from the stressor physically by putting as much distance as possible between you and it.

5-S-Suicide-Or self destruction. When all the above do not seem like viable options then you can certainly choose to check out. Things like constant unbearable terminal pain from a disease or an accident that leaves one in a vegetable state could be really tough for many to accept.

Honor his memory,wish him well, ask him to work hard, and do his best, wherever he has gone.
 
I'd never want to deny someone the chance to make the choice for themselves.

Sometimes the choice is made rationally and sanely that it's not worth it to continue under the circumstances.

Other times physical sickness turns to mental exhaustion and there seems to be no other way to end the hurting.

Mostly, the circumstances are unclear to some extent to those left behind.

My knowledge of suicidology is dated by 20 years since spending any time with the Crisis Call Center.

But I can tell you one thing you'll not regret is living as described by Robert Heinlein describing Lazarus Long - that when he was listening to you he gave you his full attention.

Active listening with empathy and allowing them opportunity to tell you without fear of being judged about what or how they feel. Compassion - as in most good judgement comes from experience, and most experience is the result of bad judgement.

God, I've been running my mouth while Bill's been gone. I'd do better to paddle my own canoe just enough to keep it in midstream and go with the flow. But then sometimes you want so bad to keep others from the mistakes you've made. But like Will Rogers said, some people have to experience the electric fence for themselves.
 
Sarge

It rarely makes sense except to the guy doing it. If you have any friends who've been through the same thing, might be reacting to the same ideas or who would be influenced by your friend's action, talk to them bluntly and find out what they are thinking. Tunnel vision is hard to cure, so don't be subtle. Stop blaming yourself (if you are) and when you get the chance, write a long letter to his wife & kids to tell them about the good memories.
Comfort to you, Greg.

Stephen
 
So very sorry to hear that. I will keep you and his family in my prayers.
 
I'll keep his family and you in my prayers. There really isn't much a man can say at a time like this.
 
My condolences, Sarge. Hard to cope with. Mom has tried twice, have to keep my eyes, ears open and second guess her. So far have been able to stay ahead of her to preclude another attempt.
 
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