OT: Farewell to a friend

What can I wish you, Sarge? Serenity (seems pretentious)? Forgetfulness (unlikely)? Forgiveness is probably the best I can offer. He did what he (felt he) had to do. Brings to mind one of the quotes that crop up distressingly frequently in my life: "Seemed like a good idea at the time.". Unfortunately, no recourse, no second-guessing, no Monday-morning-quarterbacking.

My thoughts go to you, because I 'know' you. Pass that on to the family, if it's appropriate.

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I'm sorry to hear that Sarge. I hope you find your peace with this. My prayers for those who must carry on. I echo Ferguson's sentiment as well.
 
you know what to do...remember what he was in your life, not how he left it. Take care of yourself.
 
Thanks all for kind words, good advice, and especially for your prayers. Having been an NCO for as long as I have, I regrettably have more than a little experience with such matters as this. Nothing can be done to bring 'em back, so rightly our focus is on taking care of those left behind, and in honoring the memory of a friend who's gone ahead.

How am I holding up? Well today I saw a young couple that I hadn't seen since I deployed, and got a chance to hold their baby daughter who was born while I was over there. As I held this tiny person in my arms, and wondered once more at the great mystery of life, she smiled a smile so serene and beautiful that I knew it to be a sign and a message. Message received. Me, I'll be just fine.;)

Sarge
 
Well, I can relate to receiving news like that and it always seems like the most squared-away guys are involved too. We all have those thoughts periodically, but with some folks the thought just hangs around a couple seconds too long. So they go on ahead, but on the continuum of time they are not that far ahead, nor are we that far behind. It is a sad thing though and takes some getting over. Anyway, prayers sent.
 
Mercifully, that is always an option when the going gets too tough. We never fully understand it and always wonder why but generally there is a reason for it.

Hang tough. Nobody ever said it would be easy.
 
A ray of sunshine in the darkness of all this. The coroner's report/autopsy results are in, and even though several factors pointed to what was previously assumed, the official determination is death by natural causes. It doesn't change much, but what it does change is important for those left behind. The cause of death never mattered to me as much as the result, I've lost a lot of friends a lot of different ways and none of 'em are good.

Sarge
 
Had the memorial ceremony/funeral yesterday, and I'm well satisfied that there was nothing humanly possible we could have done to make it more reverent or dignified. I know it was a source of great comfort and pride for my friend's family. Yes folks, it was just like you see in the movies, the honor guard firing the 21 gun salute, the bugler playing taps, and the folded flags being presented to the widow and parents. Many of you have been to funerals with military honors, so you know I'm not exaggerating when I say that if you've ever attended one in person, you'll never see one in a movie/on TV without being moved to tears.

If my buddy was watching, and I know he was, I'm sure he was proud of this team and family called the United States Air Force.

Sarge
 
Sarge,
having been to way too many of these funerals myself I am grateful for the dignified ceremony the military has offered for so long. It helps everyone mourning and certainly makes you understand that we are a band of brothers united by serving our country.

One of the worst times I ever had was flying the "missing man" over a service of someone I barely knew. I don't know about the other 3 guys in the formation, but being the "angel" made me realize yet again how tenuous our grip on life is.

I feel the pain you are experiencing because of your friend's desperate act. I think those of us who have ever worn a uniform find this an option easier than most. Whatever demons he wrestled with are now defeated, but in their wake is loss and confusion.
 
There's no good way to lose a friend, but some are worse than others. Still, it made me very proud to see that we have done, and are still doing, everything possible to honor his service and care for his family. If I've been yacking it up a lot here on the forum lately it's probably a result of the stress I've been under as the family liaison officer responsible for helping out with all the funeral arrangements, etc.. Last night after getting home from my last trip to the funeral home, I tried "tying one on" with no success. Scared me a bit, nothing I drank seemed to faze me. I'll get some down time this weekend, and get away from reality for a spell doing my medieval thing. Probably not a minute too soon.

Sarge
 
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