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OT: Who is the Barbarian?

Discussion in 'Himalayan Imports' started by Svashtar, Jul 7, 2004.

  1. Svashtar

    Svashtar Gold Member Gold Member

    Dec 28, 2003
    Just thought I'd share a kind of puzzling / funny thing that happened in my neighborhood. (I know my life is raw excitement, but this was kinda interesting from a people point of view. Sorry, it's late and so I was a bit long-winded.)

    Many, many of the homes where I live are infested with pigeons. I'm talking serious flying rat colonies. Some home peaks and walkways and gutters are literally coated with poop, as are any cars in the driveways. Well, my neighbor got a nesting pair, and tried shooing them off with no luck. Then he hosed them down and they took off, but were soon back in a couple of hours. They built a pretty substantial nest under one set of eaves and settled in to raise a family. He wasn't interested in my advice, so I just sat back and watched.

    His next move was to pay a guy to come out and glue up several dozen plastic spiky things that theoretically are supposed to prevent the pigeons from alighting. The guy was up there for a couple of hours, but this didn't work because these pigeons would just land on the main roof and walk down to the rain gutter, and then along the gutter out of sight until they got to their nest.

    Next, he paid someone else to put up a 20' extension ladder, and tack chicken wire all along their access routes. Trouble, is, they're tile roofs, so most of the wire was bent in place and not nailed down. This worked pretty well for a few days, until the pigeons just pulled and pulled and tore a hole they could get through, and then from the inside pretty much removed the rest.

    At this point my neighbor gave up for a while, and in the next few weeks he acquired a dozen or more birds, with several more setting up nests. His front yard and walkway look like one of those guano islands and he's washing his black car every other day.

    Finally, after a few more weeks of frustration, he hires an exterminator (on top of all his other expenses), and baits everything, and wipes out a ton of the birds. I'm not sure how legal this is, but several of the businesses around here have done it, so I guess it's OK if done by a licensed exterminator. There are pigeons in various states of dying laying everywhere, and it takes him several days to get his house and gutters scrubbed clean and repainted. I would estimate his total cost for this ordeal was at least $500.

    The next week, I get a nesting pair in the same spot on my eaves. I tried hosing them off several times that day with a jet nozzle and blasting away at their nest, but they kept coming back. On day 2 I go outside with my old trusty 5mm Sheridan Blue Streak pellet rifle, and shoot one of the pigeons. The other one takes off for parts unknown, never to return. Total cost, .01 cent for the pellet. I pick up the body, and while I'm hosing down the sidewalk where Mr. Pigeon made his final landing, my neighbor's wife comes out. "How inhumane!" "Did you have to kill that poor bird?" "Is that a rifle?" "Should you even be shooting that in the city limits?" !!! I half suspect she is going to call the cops. She seems horrified at the very sight of my beat up pellet rifle, and the idea that one of HER neighbors would even own such a thing.

    When I point out to her that she and her husband just wiped out a whole pigeon city, I get "That's different!"

    So who's the murderer? I guess we both are. What I think irritates the hell out of my neighbor and his dim-wit wife, is that I gave the birds a couple of chances and then acted, whereas they dawdled and hesitated and put up with it and did various half-assed measures until finally they had no choice but to act and in a major and expensive way. This is the same guy who says "if you can get to a gun, you can get to a phone", and is betting the lives of his wife and children on 911 sending police to his house in time, and brags that he would never keep a gun for defense.

    I just shake my head and laugh; they are both highly paid "educators", and already had a pretty high opinion of themselves, and I suspect a fairly low one of me, but now I'm an inhumane murderer to boot! :) They're kind of like folks who order their BBQ meat by the side for their freezer, but think that deer hunting is imhumane. Whatever, I can deal with it, especially as I'm ahead $499.99! AND as an added benefit, since this happened their cat doesn't crap at will in my yard anymore! I guess mama's afraid I'll add him to my trophy wall, now that she knows what kind of person I am! ;) :D


    45-70 likes this.
  2. Stroller


    Jul 6, 2004
    Why is it that people with 'an education' are often ham-strung by not being able to call upon plain common sense? Over the years, I have seen individuals with university degrees and academic qualifications of all sorts who seem to have trouble with the notion of going indoors when it's raining. How they get through their day-to-day lives intact is a miracle and yet, they still can't find enough to occupy their time without poking their noses into other folks' business.
    One of my brothers is like that. How many times have I heard "What you should do is.......". He said it once too often earlier this year and I stopped him and asked "Have you managed to sort out your neighbour's boundary dispute yet?" A negative response. "Hmm. Have you spoken about the salary increase with your boss yet?" Another negative. "OK. Is all the decorating finished in your house?" Puzzled frown and another 'No'. I then asked him to go and get his own life in order before starting to organise mine. He didn't like it, but had to see my point of view. People who live in glass houses shouldn't be throwing stones.
  3. DannyinJapan


    Oct 9, 2003
    The best thing to do with a neighbor like that is to completely ignore her.
    Nosy neighbors, oh man!
    I feel for ya!
  4. Mr.BadExample


    Sep 11, 2002
    These are the kind of people that made me drop my ambitions to be a college professor. I still work in a white-collar profession, but I get along better with the blue collar guys at work than the office drones, let me tell you.
    Apparently guns are evil, but mass poisoning is okay, because it's convenient and there was no blood. I hope no songbirds ate the poison meant for the pigeons. At least with an air rifle, you know what you're killing.
  5. cliff355


    Apr 19, 2003
  6. BruiseLeee


    Sep 7, 2001
    You should have said, "Don't worry I'm going to eat it."

    Or put the head on a small stake in your front lawn.
  7. 45-70


    Jul 10, 2003
    I vote for the stake in the front yard.

    Just remember being a barb can be fun! Who wants to hang out with all them uppity greeks anyway?
  8. Aardvark

    Aardvark Basic Member Basic Member

    Nov 26, 2002
    Ah, good old Sheridan Blue Streak. My first gun. Still have it, though the seals need replacing.
  9. redvenom


    Aug 15, 2000
    Aint that the truth...

    I work in a big IT software development department. I have lost count of the numbers of highly qualified morons who wont take advice from our experienced folks who have "been there and done that". End result is that the project goes down in flames and several resignations later, we have a new crop of managers... and the cycle repeats itself. After 12 years in this business, I dont ever mistake a lofty education for competence (or intelligence).

    Andrew Lim

  10. samoand


    Jun 8, 2004
    > When I point out to her that she and her husband just wiped out a whole pigeon city, I get "That's different!"

    Could've said: "Of course it's different! I killed one and you killed hundreeds, you guys are murderers!" - in the most appalled voice you can possibly fake - and make sure that you have your camera handy, it could be one of those kodak moments.
  11. Bill Martino

    Bill Martino

    Mar 5, 1999
    Hell of a story.
  12. raghorn


    Feb 23, 2002
    You just made my morning, Svashtar! :D
  13. Kismet

    Kismet Basic Member Basic Member

    Jan 30, 2002


    Millions of years ago, when the earth was young, just after the big lizards died (very sad), I worked for an Ag Chemical company, which had somehow taken on a product that was (allegedly) designed to rid buildings of nuisance pigeons. As I remember, it was like caulk or latex sealer...had some kind of irritant in it to make pigeons uncomfortable walking, and thus get them to nest or rest somewhere else. The stuff was applied with a caulk gun on the ledges.

    OK, fine.

    I was part of the communications team that came in to help clean up the company's image. My boss was the PR VP, I did employee communications.

    One day, I walked into my boss's office to find him convulsing on the desk, almost slipping from his chair, laughing so hard that he had tears and almost couldn't breath! :D

    It seems some over-enthusiastic pest control operator had decided to use this junk to thoroughly discourage the pigeons on the ledges of a hotel in New York City somewhere. He disregarded label instructions, and virtually COATED the ledges that were most afflicted.

    Well.....a little Public Relations problem had been presented to my boss.

    Apparently the pigeons on the ledge still landed there. Problem was, they got so coated in this gunk that it stuck all their wing feathers together. (You following along here?)

    Then, they'd go to fly.

    Hop to the ledge...hop hop hop.... launch....Wiley Coyote time !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    For a bit, pedestrians were being bombed, not by pigeon poop, but by feathered missles with their wings glued together. :D ZOOOM. SPLAT !!!

    My boss had just put the phone back after hearing from the Hotel's Manager, asking if the company had ever encountered this situation before! :D :D
    My boss was laughing so hard that the other guy finally hung up!

    A short time later, the company stopped selling the product.

  14. Svashtar

    Svashtar Gold Member Gold Member

    Dec 28, 2003
    Now that is priceless! I could just see it. What a way to solve the problem! :)
  15. Mike Kilo Niner

    Mike Kilo Niner

    Jan 10, 2004
    Great story! I'm in grad school right now, and there's an awful lot of hand-wringing that goes on around the coffee pot. One time, while refilling the percolator, I opened up my EDC to cut open the bag of coffee. An Italian colleague's eyes bugged out. "You're carrying a weapon?!"

    "No, I'm carrying a pocket knife. It's a tool."

    Just then, another student wanders in, sees me putting my Delica away and says, "Cool. Hey, check mine out." He then pulls out a pocket knife with something like a five inch blade. :eek: We then proceeded to "reeducate" the Italian student. In the end, he just shook his head and wandered off, muttering "Americans..." under his breath.

    Actual teachers? Highly paid? Wow, most are content with "decently" paid. They aren't in administration or educational consulting (shudder), are they?
  16. Steely_Gunz

    Steely_Gunz Got the Khukuri fevah Moderator

    May 9, 2002
    Kis you are a wealth of information :D Thanks for the chuckle.

  17. Jotto


    Apr 15, 2004
    I'm a school teacher with three college degrees and I'm a bowhunter....shame on me. You ought to hear 'em when I tack up a picture of my latest kill on the bulletin board in the teacher lunch-room.
  18. mamav


    Apr 23, 2003
    Please tell us what they say...i need another chuckle. :eek:
  19. Ben Arown-Awile

    Ben Arown-Awile Banned by Moderators Banned

    Aug 29, 2001
    When I was a kid, the only ones who carried big knives WERE the Italians, which is exactly why you never wanted to date their sisters.
  20. Jotto


    Apr 15, 2004
    that you could go buy meat at the store. That is what they tell me....come out of the stone age Otto you bambi killer....you can go buy meat at the store. Yeah, that's what I want some guy with snot on his shirt sleeve chopping up my meat. I'd rather go get most of it myself.
    My wife's a school teacher also and she is about the handiest thing with a sharp knife you've ever seen. Her Dad taught her how to butcher deer when she was around twelve. I lay the deer quarters out on butcher paper on the kitchen table and she takes care of the rest.....no grisle, tendon, silver skin...just lean perfect roasts and steaks.

    Anyway...here is a good one. We have this program called the Cultural Kaliedoscope where people from different countries and cultures come to our elementary each semester and put on a program.....very interesting for the most part and the kids love it. We had a trio from Spain in April. The troupe ate lunch with the teachers. I was eating some corn and the Spanish woman says, "Are you going to eat that?" I said yes. She says, "We don't eat corn....corn is for livestock." So I said, "Spain must be one of the only places in the world where they don't eat corn." One of the bunny huggers down the table says, "Hey John, I'll bet she's not to keen on you shooting those poor defenseless deer with your bow and arrow either." This woman looks at me and says, "Shame on you....you kill animals with a bow and arrow?" I said every chance I get...got any deer in Spain? She says, "You make me sick." I said, "Wait a dayum minute here.....didn't I just sit through a program that showed some gentlemen sticking swords into a bulls back until he collapsed?"
    She says, "Yes, but that is a tradition." I said, "you know...I try not to waste my time discussing things with illogical people."

    Sometimes you just got to walk away...

    Oh, I have been getting some pictures of some future meals on my Infrared motion activated game cameras I built. If you want to see them, go here:


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