Pop Quiz Hot Shot! SHTF and you need a shelter!

Hi all,

Tony LOL I am not much of a sweater wearing guy LOL. As to showing any more knives I only have a few;) LOL.

TW Bryan how many poles did you cut and how big were they with the saw on your leather man? then what did you use for the lean to itself. did you have a tarp or did you use natural stuff for the sides to keep wind or rain off you while under it?

Several years back I was working in a welding shop. and I was showing the saw on mine to a co worker and he said "oh that saw will not work" I said you want to see it work look at this. we went over to a wood crate that we had and I started cutting a board on it. After I was done Shawn says yep it worked. He said he really did not think that small saw would work so good. LOL.

Recue Rilley Great job on getting out there and staying in shelters that you make. Got a favorite one so far and if so how long does it take to build?
Have you made one yet that really kept a steady down pour from getting you wet yet?

Bryan
 
Today, I’d be OK. I have a couple of knives, a ceramic stick, my Brunton lighter and about 8 feet of para cord in a decorative knot and lanyard on my neck knife. I live in southern Florida and with a bunch of palmetto branches and the cover of Australian pine or Malaluka I could whip up a shelter pretty quickly.

My cigars are in the car but if I was out of the shop and walking around I could assume they would be with me, helps to keep the mosquitoes away.

There could be other obstacles though, just a mile or so away from the house.

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Okay.... let see if I can keep this realistic....

I was driving down the highway Monday night after a bar gig. (I play drums in a band) I decid to relieve myself at the side of the road. Now, for fear of legal issues and causing a disturbance (no matter which way I face you can still see it.... it’s THAT BIG) I duck into the woods about a mile or so to keep the emanating light of my wondrous unit from the eyes of the other motorists. I grab my jacket and keys but don't see it necessary to bring my "car bag" as I'll be back as soon as I relieve the pressure from my hydrant-sized member. So out I dart into the dark woods.... 3am, -2C....

In my haste I become careless and run straight into a low hanging tree limb.... CONK, OUT.... (cue chirping birds)... I wake up totally disoriented and for the next few minutes think I'm a Japanese exchange student studying "underwater basket weaving" at the Jaques Cousteau Memorial College. When I regain my senses I realize I have no idea which way the highway is, I am getting colder by the minute, its dark... no stars or moon visible so I fear its is going to rain... and even worse than that.... I haven't gone pee yet!

Time to assess my gear and options….

Keychain – I have a Mini-Bic, Leatherman Squirt, Ferro Rod and a Fenix torch. So I can search out tinder/fuel and get a fire going reasonably quick.

Dental Floss – I always keep a roll of dental floss in my jacket pocket. This should serve well in shelter/trap making and keeping my gingivitis at bay.

Condoms – Being a drummer in a band I get a lot of tail, so I always keep about a dozen or so condoms on me (I mean actually ON ME) for a typical Monday night jam. Seeing as they are already pre-stretched and heated I have no problem filling them up with snow which readily melts into pure clean drinking water.

Shirt – It is 3:45am Tuesday…. and knowing that I wash my clothes on the last Wednesday of the month, I figure my undershirt is most likely saturated with so much oil and filth that it is probably waterproof by now…. My gamble pays off and using the floss I string up a canopy.

Underwear – Luckily, Monday night is also “bikini brief night” so I have a lot more material to work with than if it were…. Thong Thursday, Fur Friday, or Wagging Free Wednesday. I quickly construct a survival hammock to get me off the cold ground.

With fire shelter and water accounted for, the only thing left to do is wait for morning light to re-establish my bearings and walk to freedom. But I have neglected to address a need…….. the need to PEEEEEEEEEE.

I race to my predetermined backwoods latrine. As I release the Cracken a beacon of light breaks through the clouds and illuminates the sacred area. Standing there as I relieve myself, I bathe in the glorious light and scream out “THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!”. After the “quickening” I retire to my survival hammock to get some much needed sleep. A few minutes later I awake to the sound of choppers and I am airlifted back to my car. It seems a commercial airline pilot saw the flash from my mini-bic and called it in.

The end.

Rick
 
Rick that was awesome man.
What did you do for the conk on your head? LOL what no FAK?

Bryan
 
Talfuchre said:
Assume you are in your local at this time today.
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I'll play, but this sentence confused me. Am I in my "local" as in local pub? Because in that case I would just stay there until it stopped raining.

I actually did this once in college, I was grabbing a drink after class and it started snowing really hard and I didn't feel like walking back to my place, so I just decided to stay there until the snow stopped. It had been rather nice that morning and I just threw on a sweater, no hat, no gloves, no waterproof anything (bad move), at least I had my boots on. I got to the bar after class at about 2pm intending to have a beer and head home, then it started storming. Fast forward twelve hours, it's still coming down and they're closing up. I've got a monster tab and an even bigger buzz. I made alot of new friends and was nearly cut off several times throughout the night. I stumbled home in the blizzard, got home completely soaked and chilled to the bone, but I guess I learned some lessons, namely wear something waterproof and check the weather before heading out.

If I'm in my "locale" then that's a somewhat different story. I work and go to school in the post-apocalyptic hell hole known as Detroit, and live just outside city limits. Should I need to take shelter, I would look for an abandoned house (no problem finding one of those). Probably be able to scavenge some bedding, if not some evergreen boughs would help out. Should be more than enough stuff to burn for heat as well. Find a safe place to start a fire (old oven, a grill, piece of sheet metal) and wait things out.

If I'm where I usually hang out in the woods, it is highly unlikely that I wouldn't have some sort of bigger kit with me, but if it's only what I have on me, then I've got a paracord bracelet with about 20 feet of ungutted cord, at least two knives, and a firesteel. It would be more likely than not that I have my small kit in a camera case on my belt, but I sometimes throw it into a larger pack if I'm carrying one. If I have my kit then I have a space blanket and a contractor's trash bag, which would both make my life alot easier. I would quickly gather some wood and try to find a place to keep it as dry as possible, and depending on the severity of the weather I might use my outer layer to form a shelter if I didn't have the trash bag, but I would likely keep my jacket on. I would probably just make a debris hut using the cord and natural materials. Framework of branches, some evergreen boughs over it and then cover with whatever else I could find. Put a layer of duff (mostly pine needles where I hang out) on the ground and cover with more boughs.

This was good to think about, I think I'm going to make sure that I have a trash bag and my space blanket immediately on my person more often now.
 
Magnussen said:
I was driving down the highway Monday night after a bar gig. (I play drums in a band)
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What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?

A drummer :D

Watch out for this guy; every drummer I've ever known was completely bonkers. Unlike guitarists like myself, who are always sane and reasonable, of course.
 
hushnel how big is that scaly critter?
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She wouldn't hold still for a measure but my best guess is not quite 13 feet. Haven't seen her for a little over a year, there are a few whipper snappers in her hole but she could come back. This is my buddies back yard. I live closer to the squash fields :) about 2 miles north and a bit east of him.
 
Hey Rick, that has to be the funniest thing I've read all week :D

Thanks for the survival laugh, J. :thumbup:
 
James_Terrio said:
Watch out for this guy; every drummer I've ever known was completely bonkers. .
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Yeah I agree with that.

Where's that other crazy, bastid, drum beating mod of hours been:confused:

Kind of miss him. Brian you out there bro?


Edited to add--- GREAT STUFF Magnussen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
 
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