Rites of Passage in a Modern world.

Diomedes Industries

Diomedes Industries

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I am preparing for another semester at the college where I teach. I have taught an Introduction to World Religions course for years - and am adding some new material. In particular, I am adding readings from indigenous cultures.

I was reading the book "Of Water and Spirit" by Malidoma Patrice Some' where he describes his initiation into his tribe (and adulthood). Here is a portion:

"[Father] then turned to me and said, "The time has come I will not have much to say to you again until... I may never have anything to say to you again unless you come back. I have done what a father should do, the rest is in your hands. Please come back to us."

He then tells of his initiation, where, multiple times his guide was excited and even surprised to see him alive.


I don't see anything resembling (even in the small sense) a initiation right - or even a right of passage in Western Families. Do you think we loose something by not having this right of passage - or is it just romanticism for a culture we have outgrown?

Did you have any sort of initiation or right of passage in your family / culture? If so, what was it, and what do you think you gained - or lost? I am NOT asking for any academic reason - I am just thinking aloud and would love to initiate a conversation on the topic.

TF
 
Well, I hate to point out the obvious, but school graduations are one such ritual we use. Being half an American family, it was kind of a shock to me the onus put on 'High School Graduation' in the U.S. High school prom might be another ritual for some (I attended neither prom or HS graduations).

Among my friends, achieving alcohol-induced narcosis seemed to be a right of passage that occurred on our 19th birthdays (legal age in Ontario, Canada).

As an outsider, I always thought the Barmitz vah was akin to transition to adulthood marker. Historically, confirmation in the Catholic faith was a signal of the youth to affirm that their parents religion is their own religion and that they make this choice from the standpoint of an individual rather than a child. Witnessing my kids confirmation ceremonies, I think that concept has been largely lost now.

Is moving away for the first time to your college dormroom the same as a vision quest initiated in a sweat lodge? I think a stodgy academic can point out many similarities. I think a pessimist will point out that our society has trouble letting our children enter into adulthood. The new phase of 30-something kids living in mom & dad's basement might be a testament to that.

At what point did you become your own man (or woman)? Was it a demarcated line in your life history as such a right might serve to mark? Or is it a gradual process that reflects the normal ontogeny of development, e.g. onset of questioning of authority that starts with a toddlers first temper tantrum and proceeds to the 'ugly' teenage years of rebellion?
 
I think rites of passage still prevail in our culture, it's just that their nature has become more elusive and family-centered.
You still have communion, confirmation, sweet 16's (the ceremony of the father removing the slippers and replacing them with heels, signaling the transition towards womanhood) and other "rites" that might be more tied to your religious background.
As for myself, shaving for the 1st time was a big deal for me. I used to ask my dad when I could do it, he would say I could do it when I was ready to take on the resaponsibilities of a man. Although I was young, I understood what it meant.

A good book on rites of passage is "The Golden Bough" by Sir James George Frazer, and pretty much anything by Campbell.
 
If you don't see any rites of passage you aren't looking. They're everywhere.

"Hey man, did you get any? COOL! HEY GUYS, JIMMY'S NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE!"

"Here you go. You passed, now go get your license."

"With the power vested in me by the state of __________ I now pronounce you graduates of the class of _____."

"Son, I'm going to do with you what my father did with me -- split a beer."

Rites of passage are subjective as far as type, but they are culturally universal.



My old sociology professor and cultural anthropology professor would be so proud of me.
 
Talfuchre said:
Did you have any sort of initiation or right of passage in your family / culture?
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My family / culture does not.

However, I think for many the modern day equivalent is military service.

My father in Vietnam. Me in Iraq / Afghanistan etc.

In today's volunteer military I place even higher emphasis on military service, especially during wartime, as a right of passage.

Many could have chosen to do anything else, but they chose to put everything they have and everything they are going to have on the line.

That is a big deal for me and garners my respect.

-Stan
 
I'd like to echo the notion of the Military being a rite of passage. After returning from basic training I was Looked at diffrently by the the men of my family. My Grandfather, a very stoic and somewhat standoffish towards children, accepted me as an adult.
I also see a disturbing trend of children bring allowed to be "adult-like" way too soon ( just look how many jr.high school girls are dressing or how many young kids are out on city streets at all hours of the night).
Allan
 
Learning to ride a bicycle and how to swim properly, I was 5 or 6.

Been given my first knife by my father, I was 6 or 7 and it was an Opinel.

When I was 15 me and two friends walked the Cleveland Way, just over a 100 miles.

Although obviously still a boy, these were moments where I remember been allowed more independence and been trusted to keep myself safe.
 
School graduations (high school and college) are big ones. So is getting your driver's license. A ROP that should strike a particular chord in this forum is when he or she is judged mature enough and receives the first knife. Another one that will occur in my family is when my daughter turns 18 she will receive a pistol and rifle from me. She will have been taught to shoot long ago, but those two will be her firearms and symbolize the fact that she is now an adult who is ready and equipped to face the world.
 
I would admit that there are many "moments" which we today consider to be rights of passage however I would argue that most in "typical American culture" seem to be very watered down. In many cultures the rite of passage into adulthood is fairly concrete, comes with significant responsibilities and happens through a fairly dramatic/quick transition. My culture seems to have many small "rites" that don't communicate the stark transition between child and adult.

I do think we lose something.

Just my thoughts.
 
TLR said:
I would admit that there are many "moments" which we today consider to be rights of passage however I would argue that most in "typical American culture" seem to be very watered down. In many cultures the rite of passage into adulthood is fairly concrete, comes with significant responsibilities and happens through a fairly dramatic/quick transition. My culture seems to have many small "rites" that don't communicate the stark transition between child and adult.

I do think we lose something.

Just my thoughts.
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I think this states my initial thoughts better than I did. ;)

TF
 
TLR said:
I would admit that there are many "moments" which we today consider to be rights of passage however I would argue that most in "typical American culture" seem to be very watered down. In many cultures the rite of passage into adulthood is fairly concrete, comes with significant responsibilities and happens through a fairly dramatic/quick transition. My culture seems to have many small "rites" that don't communicate the stark transition between child and adult.

I do think we lose something.

Just my thoughts.
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I think this is a very good point. Kids in the US do not generally go out on a vision quest one night and come back adults the next day or week. They do not leap off of a platform as kids with a vine tied to their feet and end up as adults.

We take baby steps towards adulthood. We have our first day at school. We have our driver's license. We have our high school graduation, cast our first votes, go off to college, have our first (legal) drink. We get our first real job, apartment, etc. Some of us have religious rites in addition (baptism, confirmation, bar/bat mitzvah, etc.).

I have a friend who is 1/4 Cherokee. His father took him on a trip to northwest Nebraska. They went to Smith Falls along the Niobrara, and he waded under the falls as a boy and emerged to receive his Cherokee name as a man. I think he was around 14 or so. I personally did not have anything like this happen, and I think it would have changed my experience if it had.

I think western culture has lost this defined (and agreed upon) threshold to adulthood, and as part of this loss, our children have a hard time understanding when they should behave like children and when they should behave like adults. Freedom from compulsory ritual and tradition can be a double-edged sword, I guess.
 
chopchop said:
I think western culture has lost this defined (and agreed upon) threshold to adulthood, and as part of this loss, our children have a hard time understanding when they should behave like children and when they should behave like adults. Freedom from compulsory ritual and tradition can be a double-edged sword, I guess.
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Interesting topic.

I don't see much of a loss. One of the great advances we enjoy in modern Western culture is that we can often freely choose where and when we behave like adults and children. This is a great advance for individualism, and a great strength of this culture, IMO.
 
Rituals only mean something if you believe them to mean something. We only lose something by not doing them if you believe we've lost something by not doing them. Our society would be no different if we kicked kids out of the house on a visionquest or whatever you want to call it.

We do have a concrete time when americans reach "adulthood" however and that's when you turn 18. At that time you are an adult in our society. I use parenthesis only because I don't believe adulthood to be a quantitative thing. I've met a lot of 60 year old children and 15 year old adults.
 
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The lack of a tangible rite of passage is, IMHO, a major social stumbling block for modern men in our society.

As for my son; he grew up using knives, firearms, hunting, fishing, and camping under my supervision. I can clearly remember the day we bought him his first hunting license, getting his driving license, launching and driving the boat for the first time, ect, ect.

His rite of passage was the day he left our driveway in his old Jeep Cherokee with a Scanoe on top, camping and hunting gear inside. He planned the trip and packed all his own gear. I might add that the loaded his own cartridges he hunted with.

As he left the driveway I admit to wiping a tear. Not a tear of sadness but a tear of pride.
 
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shecky said:
Interesting topic.

I don't see much of a loss. One of the great advances we enjoy in modern Western culture is that we can often freely choose where and when we behave like adults and children. This is a great advance for individualism, and a great strength of this culture, IMO.
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I think I'm going to agree with this. The right of passage is artificial and serves only to reinforce a symbolic belief about maturity while it may have nothing to do with actual maturity. Being able to withstand pain says nothing about being able to contribute to society, love your wive and raise your children. Those are the duties of adulthood.

Maybe they should have a "rebuke of passage". Got divorced 4 times - REBUKE, abused your kid - REBUKE. Abused the safety nets -- REBUKE. Who really gives a crap if you ran through a watefall and sweated a bunch in a little hut in the woods?
 
My father gave me my first pocket knife and told me that if I was careful with it, didn't lose it, didn't use it for something other than it was intended, then I was a 'big-kid'. Later, I was given my first .22 and told basically the same thing.

I've also underwent a body suspension, not unlike the Okipa ritual of the Mandan people. Mine was tame by comparison but I felt that if I could do it, I could accomplish anything I put my mind to.
 
shecky said:
Interesting topic.

I don't see much of a loss. One of the great advances we enjoy in modern Western culture is that we can often freely choose where and when we behave like adults and children. This is a great advance for individualism, and a great strength of this culture, IMO.
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While respecting your opinion I disagree.

I think however that the point I disagree with isn't necessarily your post but what it represents. You are right in that our culture "allows" for people to (for lack of a better way of putting it) turn on and off the responsibilities of adulthood like a switch. Rome suffered under this same delusion although that's for another time and post.

Most simpler cultures have very defined roles and responsibilities that constitute adulthood and you can't simply turn them off. The only reason that we can at this point is because of our wealth and amazing amount of food/food distribution. For these simpler cultures adulthood is a marked and distinct transition and you can't just quit. As our culture has become more "leisure oriented" and created more and more safety nets to take care of people who don't want to live up to their responsibilities (long term) the transition between child and adulthood (aka - adolescence) has become murkier and less defined. Hence people no longer have a marked transition and the "rites of passage" become less important and less defined themselves.

IMO this is a great loss and like riddleofsteel I feel that (like Rome) it is one of the things leading to the degradation of men (and women) in our society and culture.

Just my humble thoughts and opinions.
 
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I feel that our (modern American) culture tend not be concerned with rites of passages. I feel this is especially true for men. Men it seems are slowly becoming more & more feminine. So the old even small rites of passage such as your first beer, first knife, or first hunt are dieing off as the social norms are changing. The only real holding rite as mentioned seems to be the military. Even with that it tends to even be confined to infantry soldiers & the like. Slowly our warrior class or sense of strength is slipping away. I hope the day does not come when a boy becomes a man when he gets his first cell phone, European shoulder bag, or Zima.
 
killstew said:
Slowly our warrior class or sense of strength is slipping away.
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Most people in society would say that is a good thing. You know that whole concept of world peace and stuff ;)

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