Rites of Passage in a Modern world.

[riddleofsteel]

Slowly our warrior class or sense of strength is slipping away.

Most people in society would say that is a good thing. You know that whole concept of world peace and stuff

If I have to explain to you what it means to be a warrior then You would probably not understand.



Go beyond the martial aspects of combat to the virtues of justice, benevolence, love, sincerity, honesty, and self-control in utmost respect for yourself and others.

Our culture of self reliance, self sufficiency, adaptability, and the ability to survive is slowly eroding into the quagmire of entitlement and the reliance on big government for everything.

One only has to look to the social, political and moral decay of our society to realize that a LOT of young men are lacking a code of conduct. Add to that the seeming lack of willingness to accept responsibility for ones actions.

Perhaps the true bone of contention is not an empty ritual of "coming of age" but the need to instill the warrior code in our young men.

The spirit of a warrior is not geared to indulging and complaining, nor is it geared to winning or losing. The spirit of a warrior is geared only to struggle, and every struggle is a warrior’s last battle on earth. Thus the outcome matters very little to him. In his last battle on earth a warrior lets his spirit flow free and clear. And as he wages his battle, knowing that his intent is impeccable, a warrior laughs and laughs.

 

[RedbeAR15]

Never really thought of it in those terms - but it is what it is.

Growing up in the south meant there were opportunities and anticipation on both sides for boys to become men - each side defining somewhat on their own exactly what that meant. There was guidance from both family and community

However, none could disagree when the threshold was actually crossed or not

It's more of a subtle thing down here - everyone is polite but the community is disappearing

 

[Diomedes Industries]

The community center is where I would put it. Your asking questions about society and the role of initiation rights within those societies. I don't care that it's here, just surprised it hasn't been moved. I've seen other threads that were moved that were more relevant to W&SS then this thread.

You are probably right. I guess it just comes down to - YOU guys are the voices I respect.

TF

 

[elvis.alive]

I did a lot of work with elementary, middle and high school students for a time in Florida and it was very common for their parents (kids of 9,10,11,12,13...) to go have fun with their friends for the weekend (turn off parenting responsibilities) and leave their kids at home for 2-3 days with $50 for food otherwise unsupervised. Please understand that these were well paid middle-class to upper-middle-class parents and this was very normal. I'm not cherry-picking one family or one instance.

To me, that's rite of passage right there! I remember the first time I got to stay home alone while my mother walked my younger brother and sister to school. I was nervous as hell, because of the overactive imagination with which many young people are gifted, but felt elated after she was home and knowing that I "survived the ordeal." While that might not be anything to children the same age in rural wherever, that was a big thing for being the kid of two liberals, living in the (last time I checked) second wealthiest county in America, in possibly one of the most sheltered, suburbanized parts of the country.

After that 15-20 minute "adventure," the times at home alone were longer, and the feeling of responsibility was greater, and thus the responsibilities were greater.

This went the same for most everything that comes with adolescenthood and or adulthood. There was no "Son, you're a man now, so we're gunna go kill something, cut it up, and cook it" experience. Everything came in stages. And to me, that's a strength of our society. There is no concrete divider between who is mature and who isn't, creating the possibility for Shotgun's 15 year old adults.

 

[killstew]

IMO it seems some of us are confused with a right of passage & acceptance of more responsibility of small milestones. Sure going to kindergarten is a big deal but hardly a rite of passage. Your first kiss is a big deal but not a right of passage. Even staying home the first time alone or the first night away from home are all milestones but not rites of passage in my eyes. A rite of passage is either an intense ritual or a definitive time in your life that changes & transforms you to a man. Getting to first base is cool but does not rate with a sundance, vision quest, boot camp, etc.

 

[shecky]

I probably erred in leaving that Rome comment as vague as I did however in the context and point of history that I meant it I still believe it to be true. Suffice it to say that I am speaking of Rome as the city of Rome and not the entire empire (including every people group included in it) and at a very specific point where history pretty clearly reveals that excess became the norm and leisure and politics became the primary pursuits of the people.

This is still a great oversimplification. Rome as a city still exists to this day. And Romans had rites of passage themselves. Just like everyone else. They viewed themselves as keepers of great tradition, as so many Americans on this very board do. As a power center, it still lasted an awful long time, well into it's Christian era.

I think this is wrong. You can never ethically turn off your responsibilities. A responsibility is what you SHOULD do. You don't have to, but you can. I don't see this as a fruit - but an unfortunate side effect.

Having freedom also means having the freedom to screw up. Everyone loves freedom, except when people actually start exercising their freedoms. But having that choice is in fact a great strength in our modern world.

People acting irresponsibly, however, only seems tangentially related to rites of passage. I may add, looking at the history of humanity, rites of passage never really seemed to have much effect on making people act more responsibly or more ethically. Human history is full of all kinds of nastiness from all people in all walks of life, where sometimes rites of passage were even designed to pass on that nastiness.

One big problem I have with rites of passage is that they are remnants from a time when social order was preordained for people. They were a means of preserving that order, not expanding human advancement. People during the Enlightenment such as our own Founding Fathers, were wise enough to to reject those shackles, and pave the way for something better. That experiment gave birth to the US, the Western world, and continues to this day. Once again, we are given the power of choice, which has overwhelmingly lifted individuals, and collectively the whole planet. The power to choose one's destiny as one sees fit is what drew almost all our ancestors to this continent in search of a better life in the first place. All of us, sitting here looking at words on a computer screen are testament to that power, and are better off because of it.

 

[shecky]

Our culture of self reliance, self sufficiency, adaptability, and the ability to survive is slowly eroding into the quagmire of entitlement and the reliance on big government for everything.

One only has to look to the social, political and moral decay of our society to realize that a LOT of young men are lacking a code of conduct. Add to that the seeming lack of willingness to accept responsibility for ones actions.

Perhaps the true bone of contention is not an empty ritual of "coming of age" but the need to instill the warrior code in our young men.

Your sentiment is like pining for a mythical world that you not only never knew, but never really existed the way you think it did. I don't think anyone reading this forum who grew up in the US has ever known anything but big government. I can remember a time when the government could compel you to military service. Some folks called that a rite of passage. Truthfully, it was more like indentured servitude... or worse. It hasn't been all that long since the government could tell you who you can marry or employ or where you could shop. To the extent those things are still true, they are slowly changing for the better. Crime rates have fallen for 15+ years. We're still, during this time of economic downturn, a remarkably prosperous nation. I don't think it's a coincidence that to a large degree, we've tossed off the rite of passage of our ancestors. We've simply done exactly what they would have done given our choices: adopted the useful, and discarded the irrelevant.

 

[shecky]

In my country (Romania) you ware considerated a man after finishing the mandatory (untill a few years ago) military service .

Thanks for your post. It may highlight a critical point about the relevance of the rite of passage, it's compulsory nature. Is there really such a thing as a non compulsory rite of passage? And if there is, how much value can it really have?

It seems back in the day, the rite of passage often functioned in a practical manner. Perhaps a boy goes on his first solo hunt and when he's successful, he's a man. That probably meant survival, as much as ceremony. If the boy refused, it might mean shirking responsibility to himself, his family, and his clan, and all the shame associated. Less prosperity. Perhaps even starvation. This really wasn't much of a choice for the boy, who at the very least, wants to feed himself.

In contrast, today, if someone considers a first solo hunt as a rite of passage, it's most likely a sentimental symbolic exercise. He's not really hunting for practical purposes... food is much more easily obtained by getting a job and going to Kroger. If the boy refuses, he might disappoint the father, but he's not likely to put himself or his family at risk of starvation. He may simply think his dad is cracked for trying to keep up such a ridiculously pointless tradition, and vow to never foist such a thing on his son. That is the power of our free modern society. It's the antithesis of the society that nurtured the rite of passage. If we see value in this symbolic act today, we can adopt it. If not, we can toss it and be no worse for the wear.

And what about rites of passage that that had lost original meaning but were maintained for reasons of sustaining social order? Making sure your place in the tribe was carved out for another generation. Practices that were even harmful, but endured simply because that's the way things had always been? The circumcisions or body piercings that occasionally caused disfigurement or even death, but had to be continued to preserve order?

Is it possible that we look back on the rite of passage and romanticize it more than folks back then did? We look back and see symbolism that we never really experienced (or were forced to suffer) first hand. But back then, they were just trying to thrive as best they could. There are no old timers left to tell us how much the old days sucked. All we can do is read about the things they used to do and let the imagination lament the world we never knew.

 

[killstew]

Having freedom also means having the freedom to screw up. Everyone loves freedom, except when people actually start exercising their freedoms. But having that choice is in fact a great strength in our modern world.

I agree that having freedom means allowing people the freedom to screw up, however in these modern times they are not getting that chance. If parents don's want to raise their children that's ok the school or TV will. If you don't want to work that's ok the government will take care of you. In school these days everyone gets a ribbon for running a race instead of just the people who one. Contrary to some of your posts I do not believe life is getting better. As others mentioned our culture (modern America) is holding up the weak & the uneducated as people to admire. It even goes so far as to say if you suck at running your business don't worry the government will buy it & you have nothing to worry about.

I agree with you that the rites of passage are from a time when they probably meant more such as survival. However I also them as a way to instill in a youth a sense of "can do spirit" or even a sense of worth at times. No one says that a rite of passage has to be putting scars on a young boys face. Sure that's an example & for the tribes that have & continue to do so it has a special even spiritual meaning. But there is a lot to be said about giving a youth the sense of achievement of even building his first car from the ground up or completing months of hell to join an elite group. Today it seems the closest thing we have is completing the last level of Halo or doing a week in county lock up.

 

[Bigdumplings]

i have found in recent times that after a year out of college many of my friends have each a different rite of paseage that they have talored to their needs. For example i took a 2 month cross country trip... after i came back i was different, i had matured.


My friend just got back from a year of community service in israel... before he was a boy and now he acts much more like a man

For another friend it was getting into graduate school at columbia

and for another friend it was styding abroad in spain.

and yea another friend taught english in santiago chile for a year

another started their own business

one moved out west to california

one friend decided she should stop dating for a while and stay single for a few years

I believe that everyone has a rite of passage so to speak... but they do not occur with ceremony or music... they occur instead when the individual is ready to break out of his/her shell and see the world for what it is.

 

[Alvaro Candanedo]

I emember reading that one of the Presidents of the USA said in his inauguration day: "Don't ask what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country" (JFK). That is, to me, what it means to be a productive member of any country or social group. Today, instead, more and more the people expect and even demand, that the powers that be, provide for them. Since there is no sense of responsibility, no concept of duty to anything , the society as a whole, suffers. Individuals only think of their inmediate gratification.
It's no wonder the things are the way they are. Those ancient rites of passage meant just that: that you accepted the norms and values of your social group (and agreed to live by them or suffer the consequences).
You don't have to be a warrior, but you have to be useful to the society.

 

[x39]

Those ancient rites of passage meant just that: that you accepted the norms and values of your social group (and agreed to live by them or suffer the consequences).

I agree. Basically "rites of passage" provide members of a given culture with common points of reference, which ultimately are the foundation tribes, gangs, armies, and nations are built on.

 

[kgd]

Its very easy to say as a 40ty something how those 'damn blasted youth of today just don't know what it means to rough it'.

Like Tal, I also teach at the post grad level. Sometimes I shake my head at the what I view as the 'entitled generation' getting up to antics with me that no self respecting student in my day would attempt. Then again, maybe it was just because I was a self-respecting student in my day. Also, one doesn't have to get too pre-occupied with the lowest of the low. As Tal knows, every year there just happens to also be present the highest of the high. I'm always amazed at the 15% brightest of pupils, their motivation, enthusiasm and youthful endurance. They truly possess passion for life and I envy them. Something went right with them and for the past decade of teaching, I can't find what is the commonality of their characteristics.

Personally, I don't think society is degenerating. Well, I'm an environmental scientist, and I sincerely think the earth's biosphere is degenerating, but not necessarily society and to me the two are totally different concepts. Yes, values and attitudes change and they can become misaligned with our own. That will surely happen in 20 years also and our crazy kids of today will have to deal with that in the next generation to come. Will it be the ultra-conservative youth giving their socially conscious parents a hard time?

The power of youth is their ability to adapt to the changing conditions of the environment that us old foggies might have a difficult time dealing with. Sure, there is a ying/yang effect and struggle between tried and true life lessons against youthful optimism and rebellion. Was that a matter of design? The ugly, rebellious adolescent, might just be a sleeping gene with programmed ontogeny to ensure cultural adaptability. (God, I'm sounding like a bloody anthropologist!)....

A bottle of wine and couple of scotches and I'm probably moving towards a bit of incoherence. But part of me inherently trusts the 'built in' rebellion of youth as well as the degree of diversity this attribute manifests itself across individuals. I have a conservative daughter and a rebel son. Who will succeed? Part of me says the daughter will, but I'm experienced enough to say that only time will tell. In fact, I will even say that I envy the rebellious youth a little even if they are a PITA. Maybe because I was always a bit straight and narrow (except in girth). Rebellion is the ying. To me, the rights of passage is the yang, an attempt to keep the old ways and to attempt to pass on traditions to generation 2. Traditions have a longevity only so long as their attributes prove to be advantageous in the 'now' and in the 'tomorrow'. I have little faith that what worked 100 years ago will work 100 years for now. I think that is just romanticism and I'm sure a history professor will disagree with me. Disequilibrium is a penchant of mine in my own discipline.

Personally, I welcome the critical eye of the youth. They discover the new world each day. Us old bastards steep in the past and "tomorrow" always seems a tad foggy. Sometimes I wish I could get a new set of eyes...

 

[a.l.hare]

This, in my opinion, is a highly complicated issue. You have to consider all the variables. The generation gap alone decides the perceptual differences in rights of passage. Most rights of passage in American culture are two-fold. You can legally drink at 21 (1) but how many start with their peers way before that(2)? You can be seen as a man or woman by your peer group but not by society or the generation with authority. Which is more influential? Rights of passage are cultural. I think there is a correlation between severity of the rights of passage and "development" of that particular culture. In other words, the cushier the existence the longer it takes for adulthood to be recognized and accepted, not to mention, the longer the life span of the population the longer the journey to adulthood. I don't think it's the degeneration of society, but a progression or evolution given all the factors involved. There is no right or wrong just what's next. The problem with age discrepancies between the legal age of some legal rights and it's effect is based on intellectual arguments not realistic ones. TF, how many of your students drink even though they are not legally allowed? We've seemed to move to a point in our culture where the individual determines his/her rise to adulthood not society. That in itself could be a result of American cultural independence as opposed to a more group based society. Rights of passage seem to be a forced step into adulthood by society. If the individual determines when that step takes place, do rights of passage hold the same importance?
It's an interesting discussion.

Alan

 

[Foilist]

Interesting topic.

I think our society is much poorer for not having a clear demarcation between childhood and adulthood. So many in our present society desire to stay in the infant stage where someone else must lead them by the hand so that they can shirk responsibility and accountability. Perhaps a ritual to push us into the adult world and give us a quick kick in the seat of the pants just might do a lot of people some good.

This makes sense to me. I teach Latin to high schoolers, and when we discuss various Greek and Roman myths and rituals, the conversation often turns to how the transition from childhood to adulthood is deferred for so long in our culture compared to theirs. A rite of passage that pushes us more abruptly and firmly into adulthood has to be followed by real, "grownup" responsibilities and consequences and not merely end with the ritual itself.

Lots of kids give as examples of their own rites of passage things like getting a drivers' license. The problem is, their folks give them the car, fill it with gas, pay the insurance, etc. The result is that they have adult "props," but not the adult experience of car ownership.

 

[Loosearrow]

Interesting thread. I grew up in northern New Mexico fairly primitive. You learn to be by yourself. I did not feel isolated when alone. I did not need the validatiion of others to determine who or what I was. It wasn't until I was told that I was a United States Marine at the age of 17, that I felt accepted into a clan or tribe. The thought still is an emotioinal one for me after living somewhat as a loner. The value of this experience will be with me the rest of my life. I have met others that were Marines in the past. There is a bond and trust in that. I have talked to others that never served and they tell me they wish they had the experience. The old men that served in the military will open up to you like a book and want to talk to you even though they have not responded to anyone else. Just my experience. We can put ourselves through our own rights of passage as we willingly face fears that we may have. Test yourself with new experiences and quietly enjoy the change inside. You are all you have. Grow and teach.

 

[Diomedes Industries]

I think the idea of 'having the freedom to make our own experiences' is a great topic. I think I want to keep one eye on how my kids are growing and work on training them for greater responsibility with things that matter to me and my family.

I think I also have been looking, like Loosearrow was saying, for my own rights of passage to feel connected to the earth and a member of our race.

It seems to me that people have mentioned many things in our society that resemble rights of passage seem to be consumer related - buying things, going into debt, or going to work to relieve that debt.

This seems wrongheaded.

TF

 

[Foilist]

The consumerism thing is something that has bothered me for years - the idea that buying/owning has replaced doing.

The notion of one's own individual rites of passage is interesting. I think travel is a good one. Not being a tourist, but real travel where you are on your own and out of your comfort zone.

 

[martoonisotu]

At age 14, my best friend (age 15) and I went on an unsupervised week-long canoe trip in my native Minnesota. I can recall how that experience (and the trust our parents exibited by allowing us to take it) left me with a feeling of independence and self confidence.