Should I let them go?

G

Gigante

Joined
Jan 4, 2001
Messages
713
My wife wants to go to Greece for a week during winter. I can't go myself, too much work, have to stay. That's fine by me.

But she wants to take our 3 yo daugther with her.
I just don't like it. It's a foreign country, my wife is a small woman. Anything can happen. And if it does, I won't be there to help!!!!

We had a heated argument about it, where I made it clear that I would not let her go with our daughter. It's not my style to lay down the law like that... I've been thinking and thinking. Am I just an *******? A wife-oppressing bastard? After all, she's a grown woman, and I can't be there all the time to protect my family. Sometimes I have to let go and trust her.

On the other hand, I'm scared. I imagine all kinds of bad things. I hate the feeling of them being so far away, unable to help them if needed. So I thought I need some input from other people, and I know you're all smart likeable fellows so I ask you... what should I do?

Go ahead and tell me I'm a paranoid bastard if you think so...
 
I was in a similar situation, my wife wanted to go to the Philippines during Christmas and New Year, and take our 15 year old daughter as well. Because of work I really cannot go. Well, I put up a small stink about it as well. Everybody we asked said we should not seperate like that. Although I do feel a little selfish, but I do tend to be protective of my wife and child, I'm a bit more streetwise and tend to notice alot more than they do. So I'm with you!
 
Gigante-
I son't know why she wants to take your daughter. Is there a reason she needs to travel with a toddler? It's not like she'll look back, and say man, greece was fun when I was 3. Folks bring their kids to Disney world that young, and it's just wasting money. And disney is, well, a little safer than Greece. I may stick with no child this trip.
 
Is your wife Greek? Does she have relatives there? I can understand wanting to "show off" her daughter to relatives, have her daughter meet them, etc. In such a case, I would let her go.

On the other hand, if it is just a solo vacation trip and for only a week, I can't see taking the daughter, at 3 years. A lot of wear and tear on the kid for no purpose.

Please forgive this question, but is your marriage rock solid? If not, I wouldn't let my daughter be taken out of the country like this.
 
Gigante said:
Go ahead and tell me I'm a paranoid bastard if you think so...
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Actually , no I don't think you are. There is absulotely no "good" reason for a woman to travel to a place that far away without her husband, in these times or any other.
 
The Last Confederate said:
Actually , no I don't think you are. There is absulotely no "good" reason for a woman to travel to a place that far away without her husband, in these times or any other.
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Damn! Does that mean my wife has to cancel her business trip to Austria next month, or that I have to go with her? While she was gone, I was hoping to have "the guys" over for a knife show and a kegger! ;) :D ;)
 
MikeH said:
Is your wife Greek? Does she have relatives there? I can understand wanting to "show off" her daughter to relatives, have her daughter meet them, etc. In such a case, I would let her go.

On the other hand, if it is just a solo vacation trip and for only a week, I can't see taking the daughter, at 3 years. A lot of wear and tear on the kid for no purpose.
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Very good points, the answer all depends on your situation. If she is travelling just to see the sights or on business why not leave the kid with you?
 
On a relationnal point of view having you're wife having some holidays alone with your daughter can be just as long everyone feels OK about it.

That said I'll only speak about safety issue.
*********************************************************
Everyone easily gets paranoid when it comes to loved ones. First calm down. Try to make things rationnal: look for infos:

* about safety:
-check consular sheet by your embassy on location, compare it with the consular sheet for a country you would consider perfectly safe.
-check some pratical oriented tourism guides (things like lonely planet) and read recommandations about safety.
-ask some people you know that have been there.

* about your wife ability:
-has she ever spent some time alone aboard?
-has she travelled a lot?
-has she ever taken care of your daughter alone for a long period?
-has she ever made travels with your daughter or any other young child (nephew etc...), particulary using public transportation?
-how does she plan to organize there? Does it look realistic to you?

Things like staying in the same hotel week long or moving from one pre-booked international class hotel from another, regularly phoning or dropping emails seems pretty safe.

Last solution: other possible "negociated solutions" are acceptable that would make you feel better, she should understand you're worried:
Maybe you'd feel better if she chose another country such as Spain, Italy or southern France. That said Greece is a developped country, and none of the people I know that have been there have had any trouble.
Maybe she could go on holidays with some friends or relatives. etc.
 
Let her go...do you know how many thousands of Americans travel to Greece every year without incident?? Your heart is in the right place being a papa bear but you also have to have faith in your wife.

I would be more concerned if she was traveling to Columbia, Jordan, Isreal etc. but Greece? I think it is ok.


Hope you guys can work it out..

Ren
 
Ren the devils trailboss said:
Let her go...do you know how many thousands of Americans travel to Greece every year without incident?? Your heart is in the right place being a papa bear but you also have to have faith in your wife.

I would be more concerned if she was traveling to Columbia, Jordan, Isreal etc. but Greece? I think it is ok.


Hope you guys can work it out..

Ren
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I'll secong what Ren said.
 
If the choice was between babysitting screaming kids or letting wife take them to Greece... well, that's not a hard decision.

Enjoy your vacation!

-Bob
 
Cindy Denning said:
I'll secong what Ren said.
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I'll THIRD it! :)

(but the reason for the trip hasn't been mentioned - is it a "holiday for the girls" or is it to "show off" the daughter to the family? If it's the latter, go for it - all the ohhh's and ahhh's will be worth it and the kid will make out like a bandit with cash and gifts! :cool: OTOH, if it's a "first holiday for Mom and daughter together".....well, it might not turn out to be a "holiday" for either of them.)
 
The Last Confederate said:
Actually , no I don't think you are. There is absulotely no "good" reason for a woman to travel to a place that far away without her husband, in these times or any other.
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Ditto....especially in these times!:thumbdn:
 
If something happens to them on the way the supermarket you wouldn't be there to help either. Honestly, Greece isn't a combat zone and not anymore dangerous than the states. I understand that language difficulties should an emergency arise, but most doctors in Europe speak English and with proper preparation (such as a good travel health insurance) you can be covered as well....if not better (it is much more affordable to buy a REALLY good insurance for a few weeks, than a similar general health insurance plan).

Lastly, if she goes of on a vacation and you have to work, do you really think you would be able to care as well for a 3 year old while working than she can on a vacation?

As to THESE times: Unfortunately, most places not directly associated with the US are likely to be safer THESE days, than the US...especially the metropolitan areas.
 
Compromise...
have them go with a tour full of other Swedes...
that is, unless your wife has family there... if so, I'd say they're safer in Greece than any other country. Family values are very strong there (so I hear).
 
maximus otter said:
Homicide rate Sweden: 1.30 per 100,000
Homicide rate Greece: 1.14 per 100,000

http://www.guncite.com/gun_control_gcgvintl.html

Your kid is safer in Greece.

You are being paranoid.

maximus otter
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Did you figure in rape, robbery, theft, kidnapping etc :)

I wouldn't like my wife travelling alone myself, and she wouldnt either. Your wife might feel safer with her child travelling with her, or just feel like she'll have company.
 
Is there ONE time you men are NOT working? I mean that cautiously but you are always too busy for anything else.I know, mean 'ol me again. :p
 
Gigante's wife is almost certainly going on a Charter trip to Greece, with a reserved hotel spot and the usual niceties -not worse than some places in Sweden.

Gigante, your daughter will love the adventure and you will have fun being a gräsänkling :D I remember taking my eldest to see his grandparents in Norfolk and he just loved it, especially the aeroplane trip and everybody clapping when we got off the plane.
 
What should you do...


Take a frigging week off and be with your wife and kid. Work will always be there...keep it up and your wife and kid wont.
 
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