Should I let them go?

[Gigante]

Thanks for your opinions, good points on both sides. At least I see I'm not completely "out there". I'll answer your questions:
It's a one-week trip, most of the time will be spent on the beach, no sight-seeing.
She doesn't have family or friends there, she's just taking our daughter with her to give her a fun week, running around on the beach, playing, eating ice-cream etc.
I really do need to work, I am a software developer with my own company, but I still need to meet the deadlines and it's not looking good right now.... but if it really came down to it, I COULD go.. but it would not be a very fun trip for me, just worrying about work.. ... and also, Greece doesn't interest me much.. I'd prefer a more exotic location.. like Thailand... (we've been talking about that too, I have a close friend there.. but we think it would cost too much, budget too small)... but I digress...
My wife has travelled a lot, and can take care of herself in most non-hostile situations. Speaks english ok.
We will discuss this more in days to come, I'm sure... I think we can find some kind of compromise, we always have in the past.. .. I'll keep you updated!

 

[brewthunda]

Thanks for your opinions, good points on both sides. At least I see I'm not completely "out there". I'll answer your questions:
It's a one-week trip, most of the time will be spent on the beach, no sight-seeing.
She doesn't have family or friends there, she's just taking our daughter with her to give her a fun week, running around on the beach, playing, eating ice-cream etc.
I really do need to work, I am a software developer with my own company, but I still need to meet the deadlines and it's not looking good right now.... but if it really came down to it, I COULD go.. but it would not be a very fun trip for me, just worrying about work.. ... and also, Greece doesn't interest me much.. I'd prefer a more exotic location.. like Thailand... (we've been talking about that too, I have a close friend there.. but we think it would cost too much, budget too small)... but I digress...
My wife has travelled a lot, and can take care of herself in most non-hostile situations. Speaks english ok.
We will discuss this more in days to come, I'm sure... I think we can find some kind of compromise, we always have in the past.. .. I'll keep you updated!

Try to convince your wife to put the trip off until after your big project is done - then you can both go. Carve out some time. Push back a few deadlines. Life is short. You work hard and deserve a trip with your family.

 

[cockroachfarm]

......."there is no GOOD reason for a wife to decide she is going on a vacation ANYWHERE without her husband".....

Sorry, I guess I missed the word "vacation" - I thought you said "travel".

 

[HoB]

Marriage may very well be an "equal" partnership, but it is also a "separate" partnership, with certain responsibilities falling to the man or the woman.

ALL decisions relating to personal safety and security of the members of the family fall to the male head of the household.

I envy the luxury of your position. Unfortunatly, there are many couples like me, for which time has passed that sentiment by. I will see my partner in two weeks again after a 3 month long separation. The separation is not wished for by me nor my fiancee, but caused by the circumstances that surround my work. While I am gone, I can hardly make any decisions relating to her personal safty and security, nor can I control wheather she goes on a "girls night out" or not. Thankfully, I have a partner, who is strong enough that she can fend for herself and who has enough honor not to do something stupid while I am gone. Now, this isn't the first (spacial) separation nor will it be the last. The last 8 years have been pretty much like that. And, unfortunately, I know many people in a similar situation like me. They hate it just as much as me and my fiancee, but what can you do, you got to eat and make a living somehow. I hope that the circumstances of my job will have changed, after we have gotten married and have children, but chances are that even though things will hopefully improve, we still have to face long spacial separations. And no, the situation is such that she can not accompany me, nor would I want her to.

 

[jsmatos]

Thanks for your opinions, good points on both sides. At least I see I'm not completely "out there". I'll answer your questions:
It's a one-week trip, most of the time will be spent on the beach, no sight-seeing.
She doesn't have family or friends there, she's just taking our daughter with her to give her a fun week, running around on the beach, playing, eating ice-cream etc.
I really do need to work, I am a software developer with my own company, but I still need to meet the deadlines and it's not looking good right now.... but if it really came down to it, I COULD go.. but it would not be a very fun trip for me, just worrying about work.. ... and also, Greece doesn't interest me much.. I'd prefer a more exotic location.. like Thailand... (we've been talking about that too, I have a close friend there.. but we think it would cost too much, budget too small)... but I digress...
My wife has travelled a lot, and can take care of herself in most non-hostile situations. Speaks english ok.
We will discuss this more in days to come, I'm sure... I think we can find some kind of compromise, we always have in the past.. .. I'll keep you updated!

I'd actually feel pretty hurt if my husband wanted to go on a vacation without me. I guess if she really wants to go, then you should try to be supportive. I imagine she wants to bring her daughter with her because she knows she won't enjoy herself if she's not certain that her daughter is completely safe in her absence. Then there's the guilt factor too.

Nevertheless, if it were in my court, I'd try to find a compromise where either the trip was postponed to a later date certain where you would both go together, or I would try to make it work now and go along with her.

What's a vacation without your best friend? I just spent four days with my husband in Ohio and enjoyed every minute of it. On the way back I realized that we spent all four days together pretty much every minute. That's really kind of amazing that we enjoy each others company so much. I said the same thing to him that I say after every weekend, it sucks that we have to go back to work and can't spend more time together. I really enjoyed every minute of it. I always mean it.

Good luck to you both.

 

[Cindy Denning]

I shouldn't get back in this but it sounds too familiar because you stated Gigante that this is YOUR business which you eat, sleep, live, breathe, and could it just be that all she wants to do is come up for air. This is a touchy situation because it actually is a 365 day of the year, 24 hour, 7 day a week business and please forgive me for asking but are you demanding of her when you feel like blowing your top when things aren't going the way you would want them to. I sound like I'm trying to analize you but we do it and thank God for it, there are times you'd like to just go SOMEWHERE for a change of scenery. Heck, I'd go to a dog fight sometimes...do you see what I mean?