Smoke and Prayers for my Dad needed

Thank you Krav and Yo Mama. It has been a roller coaster of a weekend. This past Friday when we got the news it was more than we expected. We were focused and committed to over coming whatever we had to with the one mass when it turned out to be more behind it after speaking with the oncologist. Several tests and visits were setup for this week.

That same Friday morning, we began having sewage backing up into the house (tub). A company out of Houston was contracted out by the city to drill tubing into the street/sidewalks and inject a polyurethane foam in it to level everything off. They had begun working just outside our driveway Wednesday and continued to Friday. That Friday morning my Dad noticed the mess when he went in to shower. Toilets also backed up but luckily did not overflow. My neighbor across the street experience similar, but worse, issues in his house since the night before. That morning I called the water dept. and my uncle who is a licensed plumber. As soon as the water dept. showed up the guys from the company took off. I took the day off of work to stay home to try and deal with the mess. Turns out the guys hit the main sewer line in the street with their foam causing a block not only in the main line, but also the service lines to our home and that of the neighbors.

Not having service, and because of my father's condition, the city put my parents up (I stayed at the house) and my neighbor across from us up in a hotel - at the expense of company that was responsible. From the night before (Thursday) my Dad had been experiencing back pain. That pain worsened through Friday. That Friday evening I went to see him and he had such a hard time getting in and out of bed. Even moving. He wanted to wait for the appointments this week and did not want to go in to ER.

Next morning I wanted to see him but some family members showed up at the house to help with cleanup. City still worked to get service back for us and said they would not leave until it was complete. Put my parents up another day again while they continued to work. In the afternoon I was on my way to visit them and take them a few items and necessities when I received a call from my Mom that they were trying to get a hold of his oncologist and thinking about going to ER. Rushed over there and found they were getting him in the car. Followed them to ER at about 5:30pm. Dad was in pain just to move his legs or waist.

In a way, we thought it was a blessing though as they were going to be able to do most of the tests that were scheduled this week a few days earlier than scheduled. However, those results brought another punch in the gut. Said pain he was experiencing was due to a broken hip. Broken hip was caused by cancer invading bones. They called it advanced/fast acting. Found lesions on his ribs, back, and legs. 3 possible internal masses (2 verified). And anemic. They began treatment with antibiotics, a bag of blood via transfusion, and pain medication which didn't do anything.

At about 1:30am Sunday morning he was given a second bag of blood. Doctors said next plan was to conduct a hip replacement surgery following day as first major step. They decided to give a 3rd bag to him and shortly after this 3rd bag he developed a fever. Surgery was postponed.

Yesterday, surgery was green-lit and he went in shortly after 11am. The majority of staff have been very good to him and the whole family. But his surgical team that worked on his hip were truly amazing. Each one of them so nice and kind and caring, truly caring. He wasn't just another person to work on. The nurse told us she had been praying for him before he had arrived. His anesthesiologist joked around with him and got him to laugh. And his surgeon also led with a prayer before hand with everyone that was in the room with him without being asked to do so.

Surgery was successful and he should begin physical therapy today after his MRI is complete. The bone they took out will be sent to pathology to see what type of cancer it is. Tomorrow he will be having a procedure and biopsy taken.

Throughout all of this, my Dad has remained very strong willed and positive. I told him before he was wheeled off yesterday that he is doing an outstanding job and that I am very proud of him. I told him that he has come a long way so far, but also asked that he go much much further until we reach a successful, full recover. I told him that he is my hero, my inspiration, my world.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you everyone! My Dad has shown excellent resolve in the face of adversity. He is determined to fight and overcome. 1 step at a time, 1 day at a time. And with the help that you offer, he is that much more stronger.
 
Your doing everything you can and all is your dad, it's always a long hard road but you're there for him and that means more to him and most to you than you might know.

Keeping your dad and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
 
good luck guys rooting for you , lost my father 4 weeks ago after a 6 year battle he told me on the day he passed it was the day to get every one around to say goodbye, when every one had left and he said thanks and that was it he just went . He had started about a dozen letters that he could just not finnish . Habit still put his number on my new mobile phone :-[ .
 
Well, we received both good news and not so good news on Thursday. On Wednesday 2 biopsies were to be taken, however only one was as the mass that was thought to have spread to another organ was part of the same mass seen on his prostate and had not invaded another organ (only pressing against it due to size). That was the good news. The results from the biopsy taken confirmed suspicion that this began as prostate cancer, though they cannot say how far back along this started. My Dad had switched PCP's in April as his old PCP was set to retire. His previous PCP never did any regular lab work or preventative screenings that may have caught this sooner.

My grandfather had prostate cancer, but before that his father did not. There is a strong possibility that this may happen to me as well, so I will need to plan a course of action for preventative/proactive care.

The not so good news is that the MRI showed how advanced his cancer has spread to the greater majority of his bones. The plan is to regulate his hormones and establish a "block" and then begin chemotherapy. His oncologist says that remission is not possible. My Dad did not flinch or waver when he received the news, and it was not due to shock. He has stated that if it is his time to leave then he is at peace with that. However, he says that he is not ready to leave and wants to live. He is steadfast in fighting his cancer head on. And he remains strong in spirit and mind. He wants to make the impossible possible.

For myself, I have prayed and asked for a miracle. My Dad helped give me the gift of life, and I have asked to help give him the gift of life in return. If this cancer needs a host, I have requested to take it and all the bad that my Dad has in him and place it in me. To make him whole again. To make him healthy and give him strength. To heal him.
 
More prayers sent. Miracles happen all the time. Anita moorjani was given hours to live. Her body was riddled with cancer. She had a near death experience, within 3 days she was practically cancer free, and is living a healthy life today. She wrote a book called dying to be me. I personal know several people giving years to live, did chemo and have exceeded that time nearly double or triple or more. There's always hope. One day at a time.
 
Your Father is so strong, and for you to wish to take on everything for him shows your love. May you have the strength to keep going on, we're thinking of you and praying.
 
Still there? Keeping you in my prayers and thoughts. I hope you are holding on.
 
Krav, I thank you for the recommendation on the book and account of Anita Moorjani. I ordered the book and then the audio book (Dad started getting nauseous with reading consent forms while at the hospital). Though we would have preferred to start much sooner, we only started to read to him just this week due to the whirlwind of everything going on.

Dad was released from the hospital on 7/30. Long story short but his insurance would not allow him another two weeks on a different floor for rehab. The hospital doctor overseeing him saw him well enough to let him come home despite not being able to get out of bed on his own and only walk, with assistance, down the hall and back. He needed assistance for practically everything. There was back and forth between us and him and his refusal for filing an appeal with the insurance as it would "admit fault or negligence" on the hospital's end. In the end my Dad just got tired of it and decided to continue to work to better himself in his home.

Two days later he started chemotherapy. Luckily, the chemo did not give my Dad any nausea. He is set to go once a month. Continue to work as much as we can with him, though it is very limited. He has visits from a nurse, a physical therapist, and someone who also comes to help him shower - each about 2-3 times a week. At one point, his knee on the fractured side (hip, left) swelled up very bad. They took x-rays and we worried that they would say it spread further down. While still undesired, it turned out to be the result of an arthritic knee that my Dad already knew about. Bad thing is they say his right hip is on it's way to fracturing the same way as his left. Hopefully it holds, though the doctors are saying it's not a matter of it, but when with it. Dad is not looking forward to it but not holding back in what walking he is able to do. One of his doctors did mention that outlook is still months to possibly years (2-5 if lucky).

It has been very hectic. Between helping care for him at home and doctors visits and family. Don't get me wrong, I love my family. And I am ever so grateful they are helping out and are here to help out. I can only miss so many days as I have no time to burn and am still on FMLA from when I was sick early this year (January). My Mom, having spent 3 weeks out, also had to go back to work. So my Dad's brothers and sisters have been staying with my Dad during the day when we cannot be there. For that we are blessed. And we all want what's best for my Dad. But when we are there with Dad, sometimes we want and need alone time between us. We have asked family members to call before coming over as we want to rest or just spend time together between us. And they don't. They continue to show up at all hours and stay all hours. If I am not there my Mom won't say anything. It's also getting to the point where they are wanting to control or have final say in different aspects, from what my Dad eats or drinks, to what he should be doing exercise wise (though not approved by his therapist due to the brittle nature of his bones), to who comes in the house and what they bring in the house (my aunt blew up when she saw another relative had taken over a fruit basket), to what is used to clean the house. I told my Mom they cannot dictate everything. Input is fine and great. We need to have an outside opinion on things that we might not be able to see ourselves at that time with everything we have on our minds. But give us our say, this is, after all, our husband and Dad, our home, our battle. Again, I know they mean well and we cannot do this alone or without them. But it's a lot on my parents right now. Thinking about talking to my aunt about it but don't want them to take it the wrong way either so I've held off so far.

On my Mom's side of the family we got a very wonderful surprise. They arranged a fundraiser for my Dad and had been selling tickets for the past 3 weeks. It was just this Wednesday night that I found out as one of my cousins called me and asked if I could sell some tickets. Glad to help out but only wish I had known sooner as the deadline will be this Wednesday to have all the money in. Doesn't give me a lot of time to work. I have work on Monday, but Monday is also my birthday. You might guess what my wish will be. It's been mentioned already by me in this thread.

I asked if I could spend it with my Dad as I don't know if this will be the last spent together and wouldn't want it to be away from him. I mean it's the day he welcomed me into this world. But now I may have to spend it delivering tickets and collecting money. So I'm torn because I want to help him out with this but also want to be there with him. I will see how much I can do over the next two days to hopefully minimize the time spent away on Monday.

But then again, we are still strong in prayer and belief that he can not only continue to fight this but overcome it. I love my Dad (and Mom) so much. He still amazes me with how, despite not feeling well physically - he is in pain, and not being able to do a lot on his own, looking at him and talking with him, it's as if nothing was wrong. When I am not talking with him and off to the side, and I end up looking at him and he sees me, he will wink his eye and smile. I also picked up some 2-way radios for him and my Mom to have in case she is out of the room and he needs something or help and they have been having fun with those. I'll walk in to the room to overhear him saying, "Roger Roger," as he starts his conversation.

I commented to another person that it feels like I have been sheltered from this and living in a bubble. For so long cancer was just a word. Something I heard about from others that heard about from others, or something I saw on tv. But now it has a face. And now it seems to be everywhere I look. From people I come across at work, to other friends that now have family members dealing with this too, to people who have reached out to me online that are dealing with or have dealt with this. There is not a more helpless feeling I have had than what I feel right now. To know that despite all that I do to try to help my Dad will never be enough, it's hard to take. But then again, I am a stubborn man and I will never stop trying and never stop doing. We just keep going. All we have to go on at this point is each other, our faith, our mental attitude, and a touch of a miracle. You hear or read about them all the time. Is it likely to happen for us? I don't know. Probably not. Maybe not. But then why not? If it can happen to others, surely it can happen for us. If it's meant to. A chance is a chance. And with a chance there is hope. No matter how small. Don't resign, don't give up. May we all (loved ones and us) be healed.
 
More smoke and prayers headed your way, it's nice to have family around to help, it's so hard to take care of everything yourself so it's ax welcome break when others step up to help.

Like Krav said miracles happen in the man time just take it one day at a time.
 
as I read this I know your father could not be more proud of his son, or love you more than he does-or you him- there are no words to express , I too have faced cancer, there is no better way to handle it than how you have been, do not hesitate to take command ; this is what your father and mother need more than anything-- it is your time to be the strength for them as they have been for you, this is an honor that you are in place to repay the love you have been given.
You will always feel weakened and on edge, this is a harrowing, not an easy place to be. cling to your faith, and if no faith; cling to your will to succeed in your father's name.

your father needs you and his wife, not everyone-- he needs the people he lives for.
let them help, but if they are in the way, get them out of there.

I love you for doing what you do, I love your father for having such a noble and wise son, Love strong, there is nothing else, from moment to moment remember your love and share it with him.
We all live and die, its never easy , but, it is a great thing that such a son was born to this father, and may you have each other as long as fate permits.

I do not know your faith, but I know you are loved, and blessed.

I send up smoke and prayers for you, sir. all my hope
 
Moshow9 you give me hope. Sometimes my emotions get the best of me, but I only let this happen when I'm alone at work.
Sounds like you have a great support group with you. I have kept you and your family in my prayers and thoughts.
 
Continuing prayers moshow. I know you're going through hell Brother, hang on. I pray your Father comfort, and love within your family.
 
It's been over a month since I've posted anything. Each time I write it seems to take a lot out of me so that is why I tend to go a bit between updates. I have to say that I am amazed with how my Dad is handling his situation and dealing with it. There have been a few times where it's gotten to him, small lapses. But it's a release, as he is letting all of that negative feeling out. Mentally, he is still as strong as ever and believes in himself and his fight. I've said it before, but I am so proud of him.

There have been some issues that have arisen. His blood count has been fluctuating and hit a couple of low points that required him a couple of visits to the hospital again for additional blood transfusions. And like all of us (although related differently), we have good days and bad days. There are days where he is able to have good, somewhat comfortable, movement. And there are days where he cannot even untwist the cap of a bottled water.

Another thing we have learned is how expensive these treatments and medications can be. We knew it wasn't going to be cheap but it's another thing to actually see it on paper. We also have hope for possible out of state treatment but that poses an obstacle on it's own in relation to what we do not have a lot of. In addition to the lunch fundraiser setup by my family, they also held a garage sale. With the two combined, we were able to raise a small but sizable and very helpful donation amount. It definitely helped, but it didn't last long.

At the suggestion of my Aunt, I setup a page on a popular fundraising website for our family and friends and only hope and pray it is able to help us out. Time will tell. My Dad was emotional when told about it and he saw one of the pictures that I used (the one posted in this thread). He said he wishes he could be able to do that again - pick me up. And I told him that he will. I believe it. Just this past week he was able to do something that he had not done since June and that was to sit outside under the backyard patio. Something that I've taken for granted - many things that I can do that my Dad was once able to but not anymore or in a very limited capacity. We don't really think about those things. But it was special to my Dad to be outside, under the shade with that cool breeze hitting him. To see his yard, have that music on in the background and regain some of the memories that he's had out there with my Mom. To see the sky and it's clouds without the obstruction that the walls of his house and windows leave. To have that freedom to go somewhere that he had not been able to.

For those that have continued to offer prayers and keep my Dad and family in your thoughts, I am forever grateful to you. It touches and amazes me how people come together to help out others in need. It makes one feel as if they are never truly alone. And I know we're not, not by a long shot.
 
Keeping your dad and family in my thoughts and prayers. I'm going home tomorrow from my sister in law's house I've been in my own bed maybe 5 times in the last 5 weeks, taking care of family is hard, draining and consuming but we endure because it's what we do otherwise we'd go crazy.

Your doing the right things, enjoy every minute you can, live for the moment and he'll do the same.
 
I'm touched ever time I read your post. We are both going through similar things. I pray your pops recovering keeps improving. I had a guy tell me "God will never give you more than you can handle". My response was, "I don't know why he trust me so much".
 
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My father passed away at 12:35 this morning. He was taken to ER and admitted on Christmas Eve. Friday night the doctors told us there was nothing more that they could do for him. Yesterday we spoke with hospice and were able to bring Dad home at 7 in the evening. I was able to tell him how much I loved him and how much he meant to me, as did a lot of our family. The hospice representative told us that just because we were placing him on hospice that did not mean that this was the end for him. But my Dad was tired. He put up one hell of a fight, right to the end. He fought to come home and was able to let go. My Dad went in his sleep, peacefully and at rest. No more pain Dad, no more pain.
 
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