Smoke needed

MauiRob said:
Prayers sent Steve.

For Stephen and your family too...

I'm so sorry for the pain your going through. I hope this is just a bump in his path that he'll grow stronger for having hit.

I hope one day you and he look back and laugh about this and he'll understand that you did it out of Love for him.

My girls are little now Steve, but some day I may need you to tell me the same things.

Prayers for all the children out there.
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I can't say it any better.
Prayers and Smoke going up.
 
I'm not yet a father so I have no idea what your going through. I'm pulling for you though; it must be difficult enough being a father without the added trouble of substance abuse. I wish you and your family good luck.
 
His birth mother straightened out and became a wonderful person. I hope that he will too.
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Some people insist on experiencing life the hard way. Just make sure he knows where home is; I suspect you will be sending away a confused boy and getting back a reasonable man.

n2s
 
not2sharp said:
Some people insist on experiencing life the hard way. Just make sure he knows where home is; I suspect you will be sending away a confused boy and getting back a reasonable man.

n2s
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Much love sent from middle NC to ya bro!!!

btw..
as one of those that HAD to learn everything the hard way, I gotta say ya prolly did the right thing...My family downright wrote me off when I was younger...I am pretty sure that they had a running bet that I wouldnt live to see 25 and if I did I would be in prison...They were very close on both of those..lol

While I wont go into it on a public forum (my exploits are common knowledge, I just dont feel like throwing them out there again) I can say that I was at one time ALOT worse than that, and I turned out ok...Some tuff love and hardtimes finally got my head where it needed to be and now I consider myself a fairly decent (albiet warped and demented) member of society

Again....mucho love to ya and the Mrs.!!!

btw...you should have went with me and Becca to the reptile show today...Seeing those tattooed women with snakes wrapped around them would have made ya forget your worries for awhile!:D
 
Steve,
I count you as one of my friends, and someone who I respect. Smoke will be sent tonight.
Didn't you do some things 'back in the day' that your parents disapproved of? I sure did. Most of us get past it - eventually. Time can do so much.

I wonder why he left his stash out for you to find? Was there a message there?

Go slow pal.
 
Intervention, 12 step program with NA meetings and random drug testing. Refusal to go along, out, no support no further contact unless...see above. Tough love on this one, see if there is a Hazelden ( www.hazelden.org ) center near you, or the like. Contact NA and discuss the problem with a sponser....I really wish the best for all, but, above all, take care of yourself.
 
Steve, I am so sorry for you and your family. I'm with Kevin the grey on this one. Your household conditions were more than reasonable. Be strong but keep the lines open. You're doing the right thing.

My boy at 17-18 was a mess, bad attitude and even worse loser "friends." I was so worried about him it made me sick. But he pulled it out, got his s*&t together, and is now a cop of all things. I credit my brother with talking to him (ex-police officer turned lawyer) and helping him see he couldn't keep up the BS. (He listened to truths from his Uncle that he wouldn't from his old man.)

He's got good roots and good people behind him Steve. Stay strong and he'll come back to you.

Smoke and prayers going up for a good outcome for all of you.

Norm
 
A tough call to make Steve, but I agree with others here that it was the right decision. You have my prayers, as does he.

Sarge
 
Aw, Steve.

Stay loving but firm. Lots of us have done a few wild things.

It sounds like you've created the right environment. This is his chance to do the right thing because he chooses to.

Be thinkin' about you and Steve.

John
 
Steve, my heart goes out to you. This is about the fourth time I've tried to post but ... computer problems. Smoke going up and I'll ask Linda to add you to her prayer chain.
 
I've been fighting this battle for over a year with our oldest Granddaughter...My oldest son and his ex split when she was eight, and things kinda rocketed downhill from there. Both parents threw up their hands, and I brought her to Indiana at 15 to attend the high school where I teach. After a year, she and I agreed that there was little more I could teach her, or that she was willing to learn, so I took her back to W.Va. Suprise! Maybe those screaming matches helped; her folks say she's doing better. God knows they took enough out of me.....God Bless you and yours. Prayers will continue from Indiana.
 
Steve,
You set the appropriate limits and he broke the contract. You can't fix this.
He can.
Sounds like a replay of me and my family, though whether that gives you hope or utter despair is another question.

If his only problem is pot, not to make light of the situation, he is not facing a life threatening condition. He is wasting time and not growing up.

Prayers from Montana for your son and you, Steve.

My Mom figured I was a dead man, but she knew unless she did everything she could when I passed it would leave her with guilt.

So, my parents offered chances and legs-up anytime I was able to take them. They would not bail me out of jail, nor supply addiction money, but they did pay a first month's rent on a small apartment when I was back on track a little ways. I had a bag of pinto beans.

Your son is entitled to mess his life up. It's his. You can only wait, show love, and be ready if he decides to try again and get back.

I liked the part about sorting the seeds and stems with a pile of the stuff in plain sight....classic, "Who me, man?" And showing a familiarity and disregard for his parents. I know it well. Our parents are providers, and sometimes rugs we stand on a little too often.

Whether this is more true today of these generations I can not say. When everyone worked on the farm to be able to eat, and there was no Mall to visit, we didn't have all these choices. There are a lot of late bloomers today.

I try to stick to behavior around my house, but I fail and get angry. I will try not to overreact when my sons get into young adulthood, but keep it a non condemning observation of events. "You've decided to leave my house because you chose not to follow the rules we agreed upon. " I sure as heck would make it clear it was HIS choice.


God Bless you, Buddy.

munk
 
munk said:
Steve,
I liked the part about sorting the seeds and stems with a pile of the stuff in plain sight....classic, "Who me, man?" And showing a familiarity and disregard for his parents. I know it well. Our parents are providers, and sometimes rugs we stand on a little too often.

God Bless you, Buddy.

munk
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A man once called for advice regarding his son, and mentioned in passing that he had "found a few seeds." "Can you tell me, ball park, how many?" "Probably not more than five or six gallons!!!" When the dust cleared, the actual amount was closer to 12 gallons, a major area dealer was in prison, and the man's son (a runner for the dealer) was returning from a few months vacation. Both father and son had agreed for me to use the son as a witness in court, so that no local sources would ever trust the son again, a real step toward staying drug free.
 
Hard decision to make, but probably the right one. Just don't cut off ties with him totally. He's still your son. Young people (and older ones too) make stupid decisions and most of the time they pick themselves up and work out of it, especially if they have some support.

Good luck. My boy just is turning 15, I dread this kind of thing every day.
 
Smoke and Prayers form HI and Kamis
 
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