Smoke needed

Sorry this is happening with you. I hope this works out for you both. It usually does.
 
Smoke & prayers from one who has been there and done that and by the grace of One greater than us all, got back on track. Don't give up hope, bleak as the situation seems.
 
Dear Steve,

Prayers from here.

we cannot guarantee outcomes, no matter how well we do.

I grieve with you, but believe you did evrything just right.

Tom
 
Thanks for all of the prayers, smoke and good thoughts my friends. It means a lot.

Steve
 
Smoke and prayers from the East Coast. Advice? Not sure I have any for a tough situation like this...just moral support. Keep the faith.
 
~~~Smoke~~~

Steve, you have a strong foundation. It may not seem so at times, but that foundation is really the only thing of value you have to offer. All the rest fades like the

~~~Smoke~~~
 
Smoke up from Atlanta Steve. I've been into the things he is into. Hopefully he stays away from the killers and outgrows the recreational stuff like I did. I saw friends go both ways there. Sorry for your situation. Be ready to bail him out. I't was a real wake up call for me to get cought. In the end, that and meeting my wife is what helped me turn away from that dumb stuff.

Prayers from Atlanta.
 
Prayers, of course.

I too think you've done the right thing, but it must have felt like cutting off an arm.

As a social services researcher, I used to be on top of all the research into "resiliency." That is, when you look at these two people, what factors helped this person have the capacity to pull themselves together, in contrast to that person.

The single largest protective factor, single largest "resiliency" factor, was that somewhere in the individual's life, a grown-up was utterly wild about them. That can be, and for many was, a lifeline. Because someone who they respected had demonstrated respect for them - someone whose judgment they valued, had demonstrated that they felt the person was intrinsically valuable. It was the starting place for re-building a positive sense of self.

Your life with him up till now resonates with that protective factor, as frankly, does your decision to ask him to leave. It is up to him now, but he's got as many resources (and more!) as any, to help him find his way back.

I'm so sorry though - must hurt like hell.

t.
 
Prayers from Texas. Free agency is a gift from God and essential to our progression. But it sure can be painful. We all lose our way at one time or another in our lifetimes, but having someone who loves and cares for us gives us the opportunity to come back. I know what you are doing is hard, but it is the right thing. Be strong and prayers for you and your wife.
Terry
 
Prayers and positive thoughts from South Carolina. As has been said before, sometimes a person has to face sufficient negative consequences of his/her behavior to spark both a desire and a plan for change. You are doing the right thing. I hope things turn out ok for everyone.

Eric
 
Prayers sent.
I am very familiar with what you are going through and hope this is a one instance time...am very familiar with Al Anon, AA, NA, counseling, support groups, halfway houses, phone calls for help, attorneys, courts, places where all occupants wear the same style orange jumpsuits can be options....hope you don't get to know most of these. Oh and for the last almost 2 years, sobriety, the last year, a good job working 50-60 hours per week, living on his ownsuccessfully, a lady friend, and even volunteered to start paying back some of the $'s his problems had cost us. There is hope in prayer, and keep your and you wife's strong team effort together. God and your spouse are you greatest strength in getting through it.
 
I was going to say....what's so bad about hitting bottom and praying to God?
That was a moving post, John R Fraps.



munk
 
Steve, Sometimes tough love is the only love that works. I'm very sorry to hear about what you're going through. Two of my daughter's friends are in a similar situation. I've seen what it's done to those girls and their families, so I can sympathise. Keep the faith and keep the home-fires burning.

Mark
 
My sister was similar. Once she turned 18, we all backed off and tried to keep from getting a summons. Finally after 3 kids, a meth addiction, felony theft charges and etc, she seems to be stabilizing. Besides the fact she lives with a selfprofessed gangabanger killer drugdealer.

your in my thoughts and prayers Ferg.
 
Prayers and smoke from Kansas. Keep the lines of communication open. If he asks for help offer all you can.

James
 
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