Smoke request

Ah, no. :( I'm sorry for your sudden loss, Andy.

Smoke tonight. Maybe when you're up to it, you could share some of his stories... will help.


Mike
 
Sorry for your loss you are in our thoughts and prayers.
 
Andy-
I'm so sorry for your loss.

>>>>>>>>

I don't think youre such small shakes as a man and father, Andy. Give it 20 years and some youngsters are going to be counting on you.


munk
 
Thanks again to all of you.

If I am any kinda decent man, Munk, its because of my grandad. He surely put in the time. I hope he was somewhat proud of me. Its hard to think straight about it.
 
He used a .308. Can you imagine the mess? The ins co sent out a speacialty cleaning company. What a job they have. My dad found him and kept my mom from seeing him. Thank God. Shock. I feel shock. I helped him build that house. Its cypress logs, and real cypress paneling with vaulted ceilings and cypress planking at the roof. Imagine how 20 year old cypress soaks up blood. I cannot imagine that they'll get that out.

I never shot that .308. Somehow that comforts me. I don't understand that. I always thought it was too much gun for that land. You'd never get a shot beyond 60 or 70 yards. So I bought a 3030 and hunted with it. I never got around to shooting that .308 with him.

But its not the guns fault. The police will return it, and it'll be mine. Guns and men are funny. I know its not the guns fault.

I'm rambling. You guys are the best. I appreciate your caring for me.
 
Smoke and best wishes. I'll burn some tapers tonight on the beach. Be well, be with family.
 
Andy, even a great man is just a man.

I've been lucky in my life to have been befriended by several great men. One of them had a son who killed himself in his Dad's shop with a .22 I have the .22 It is just a .22 It is not the son, the violence, the end.

It's going to be OK, Andy. I think I can hear your grandpa in your voice.


munk
 
Andy,
Damn I'm sorry for your loss. I wish I had some more words to offer. But you definitely and your family are definitely in my prayers.

Hang in there and keep in touch. This kind of loss takes some time to process.

Alan
 
He used a .308. Can you imagine the mess? The ins co sent out a speacialty cleaning company. What a job they have. My dad found him and kept my mom from seeing him. Thank God. Shock. I feel shock. I helped him build that house. Its cypress logs, and real cypress paneling with vaulted ceilings and cypress planking at the roof. Imagine how 20 year old cypress soaks up blood. I cannot imagine that they'll get that out.

I never shot that .308. Somehow that comforts me. I don't understand that. I always thought it was too much gun for that land. You'd never get a shot beyond 60 or 70 yards. So I bought a 3030 and hunted with it. I never got around to shooting that .308 with him.

But its not the guns fault. The police will return it, and it'll be mine. Guns and men are funny. I know its not the guns fault.

I'm rambling. You guys are the best. I appreciate your caring for me.


Andy,

He chose that gun because he trusted it above all others.

I am sorry about your loss. We all have to go at some point and it is sometimes kinder to everyone to go like this then to linger on in pain and suffering.

Stay positive and take care of your family. It is not what you have lost; but what you were allowed to share together that matters.

n2s
 
Its hard to explain to someone who does not participate here what this support means to me. My wife is completely at a loss about our forum. But she can see how comforting it was when I lost Lady. And this is no different. Thank you all.
 
This will sound odd, but I think that in some cases, suicide is an affirmation of life. Did you ever see the wonderful, odd movie "Harold and Maude"?

The hardest part of any death, is being left behind. Left with the hole where the person used to be. When the death's been a suicide, the hole seems deeper ... because the person's choice makes you question whether the relationship you thought you had, you actually had. The line frequently goes "if we were so close, how come he had all that despair that overwhelmed him?"

When I turn 70, or when I get a diagnosis of some incurable fatal disease, I'm taking up smoking a pipe and will eat all the butter and steak I can get my hands on. That's an affirmation of life, not a death wish.

If your grandfather was as I suspect he was, this strapping, virile man felt trapped in his old man's body. It was time to take it off, like a worn-out suit of clothes, and get on with his life.

Andy, there is life after this. I've said it any number of times - my daughter sees folks who are "dead." Daily. My wife has had unexplainable mystical experiences of what can only be "God," however you define that. She experienced it as pure, utterly pure, dangerously pure love. Love that welcomes all, and all but sears us in its intensity.

Your grandfather's fine. He's getting on with stuff - and is proud that you are facing the pain of your loss, and trying to come to terms with it. Know this: the loss is real, but temporary.

t.
 
Thank You Tom! That was beautiful.
 
Smoke ,Prayers and wishes for Peace for you and yours, Andy. All up from Texas . Al
 
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