some help from my older (maybe wiser :p) kershaw buddies

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Well, I might be a newcomer here, but on the budget you mentioned, bowling might be your best bet.

Seriously, you can bowl & talk, get to know each other. Depending on what your budget really is, you might consider eating there, lol. Seriously dinner & bowling.

My 1st date with my wife was I took her to Westwood (Where UCLA's at). We ate at a place called "Yesterdays", ended up going to the beach, just walking & talking & ...
 
You know , one thing I have learned over the years is that nothing stimulates conversation like walking. It puts both parties at ease and would really let you get to know each other without other pressures like dropping a bowling ball on her toe or having to laugh at the right moments in a movie. Ask her to hang out at the mall and take her window shopping, just be honest and tell her money is a little tight but you would like to hang out with her, walk and talk and just enjoy her company. Most important thing is to be yourself, you want her to like you for who you are not for a someone you are pretending to be. Hey we will all be pulling for you !!!!!


Dave
 
kershawguy said:
You know , one thing I have learned over the years is that nothing stimulates conversation like walking.
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I'd have to agree...best way to put a girl at ease. Just make sure you don't talk about yourself too much...even silence is preferable to that...


...according to my sources, anyway. :)
 
sooo many ideas. i will run them by one or two of my younger (compared to most of you guys lol no offense Dave. I like that walking idea. Newport would be perfect for that one. It's right on the Ohio river.) friends and see what they think.

i just have to figure out how I will put this. This isnt something I've ever tried asking.
 
Dave is correct...bowling also might bring out a little competitiveness...perhaps not a good thing on a first date.

First, complement her on her hair, a piece of clothing, something...just give her a small but sincere compliment right off the bat.

The main thing, IMHO, is to give her a chance to open up...ask a few questions, pay attention to the answers (there might be a quiz on this later), and let her answers lead you into more questions. Just remember to LISTEN to her. Look her straight in the eyes (at least act like you're interested, even if you're not)...and keep glances above the waist for now! But it's not a bad thing to let her catch you sneaking a peek!

I would imagine it'll be cold on your date, so Coffee anyone? Gives you lots of time to let her talk.

This should work for a Saturday or Sunday day date or an evening.

Just remember, it's all about her, not you at this point...that'll come later!

Oh, and a couple of other things: If she smokes, have a lighter in your pocket. when she reaches for a cig, get your lighter and offer her a light. If you decide to go someplace in your car, open the door for her. Whenever you go thru a door reach ahead and open it for her. Help her with her coat. These sort of southern gentleman things go over great... women eat that stuff up.
 
Ok offset, we both know that Newport is a moneysink, and it's slowly kinda burning out from the inside. I think bowling would be a good date, especially if you suck, and because it's funny to see the guy suck (says the girlfriend standing next to me).

ALSO if you must carry, carry small. She will eventually warm up to it as she gets to know you...but you really need to be slow about that.

+1 for dinner. +1 for Larosas. Who doesn't like larosas? Answer: Girls who do not have souls. ;)

Good luck bud
 
Women love communication, so dining at a quiet, intimate restaurant where you can really get acquainted is always good. Remember to ask lots of open-ended questions about her ... the more she gets to talk about herself, the more she'll like you. :)

Another great date is going to a zoo or aquarium. Animals put everybody at ease. Follow-up with a casual meal, and you should be off to a good start.
 
SPXTrader said:
Oh, and a couple of other things: If she smokes (RUN LIKE HELL, unless you smoke too, have a lighter in your pocket. when she reaches for a cig, get your lighter and offer her a light. If you decide to go someplace in your car, open the door for her. Whenever you go thru a door reach ahead and open it for her. Help her with her coat. These sort of southern gentleman things go over great... women From mississippi eat that stuff up.
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:barf::barf::barf:smoke kiss
No offense, but I know many many girls who would not be coming back for a second date, and you would be stuck in the 'nice guy' category. In this age of enlightenment and equality (which is good) some girls may take offense to this. Honestly just be yourself man, you're an intelligent guy, and people obviously like you. This southern gentlemen thing screams DESPERATE, also, unless you plan on doing it for the rest of the relationship, it'll get tiring fast. Just be yourself, if she wants you as a friend there are good reasons, and it wouldn't have been a good match anyway.

Just some thoughts from someone in college as well
 
nice line about "women who do not have souls" and larosas lol. that was funny. she doesnt smoke I am sure and i wouldnt ask her out if she did.

ok so it looks like it will be a walk around someplace nice (newport may still get the nod, though i do have to agree with you phil) and larosas.

now i just have to wait till tomorow (or tuesday. i may not see her tomorow, but we have class on tuesday) to ask. :eek: i am nervous! lol
 
i dunno about the whole chivalrous thing. It's a habit for me, and hasn't worked out badly for me. A lot of girls think it's cute, and it's unexpected. (all the better for you to stick out in their minds, the guy they don't remember is the guy they don't remember)

I'd throw in a suggestion, but it sounds like your mind is pretty well made up and I wouldn't be suggesting much that's different.
 
phil000 said:
:barf::barf::barf:
No offense, but I know many many girls who would not be coming back for a second date, and you would be stuck in the 'nice guy' category. In this age of enlightenment and equality (which is good) some girls may take offense to this. Honestly just be yourself man, you're an intelligent guy, and people obviously like you. This southern gentlemen thing screams DESPERATE, also, unless you plan on doing it for the rest of the relationship, it'll get tiring fast. Just be yourself, if she wants you as a friend there are good reasons, and it wouldn't have been a good match anyway.

Just some thoughts from someone in college as well
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phil, no offense taken, but the :barf::barf::barf: says that perhaps you do find offense to my comments. However, I was raised that way. The southern gentleman thing doesn't scream desperate, it subtly says I can respect women. Equality is fine, but we all know they want to be the center of attention. See how far equality wise you get if you take a first date to go bowling, and you roll a 212 and she eeks out a 68, or go shoot pool and run 5 racks while she stands there...because if you throw it the first time, you cant go back later and say wow, my game has improved a bunch! Bookworm is spot on on the unexpected part, and yes they do remember it. I'd rather be remembered as a nice guy than a oh, he's alright guy or even an a$$hat...and if you're brought up this way, it doesn't get old. After many very happy years with Sandy, I still open the car door, doors in general, and help her with her coat. I treat her like a queen, and she appreciates it.

As for the smoking, it's still legal, so that's not an issue to me. Is it unhealthy? Yes. Is it a bad habit? Yes. But I'm sure if a first date leads to many more, she will find out there are a few unhealthy, bad habits about you, too. Fortunately, I don't live on the left coast, or in the northeastern corridor.

You're right about one thing, be yourself, unless you're a complete jerk (not sayin that ya are, buddy!)

It's worked for me, so it ain't broke, so it don't need fixin!
 
Hey man, whatever works for each individual situation, I think having to adopt any code of behavior artificially on a date is just a bad idea. If you have to change yourself to be more...accepted.desired.whatever to the girl, she'll expect that every single time, and really you're misrepresenting yourself. You're trying to find someone here, not trying to land a job.

Dating is not a job application, tailoring yourself to live date by date, by whatever means is not going to make for a meaningful relationship, even if she is happy and wants to see you again, the toll of maintaining the facade will make you slowly hate her. And yes I'm speaking from personal experience.

This is an exaggeration here, but changing your behavior code is the equivalent of telling her you have a harley when you drive a civic (both different, both good and bad for certain things).

I guess the point I'm trying to get across is be yourself. It's so important that she likes you for you, or else you're not going on dates, you're going on performances.

SPX: The barf thing was just remembering kissing a girl after she had a smoke. I think our styles are distinctly different but both fall within being yourself. I'm assuming your way works and you're happy with it or you wouldn't have recommended it, same for me. :)
::This is all great ways to get a second date! ;)::
Either way offset, remember to look right in between her eyebrows and yawn loudly when she talks to you, text your friends constantly, and start long/loud cellphone conversations in the middle of restaurants, feel free to fart loudly, preferrably when she's near, also show up drunk and or high, and if you meet her friends, just ignore them, bring your biggest scariest Gil hibben replica knives and refer to them as your 'precious's'. Forget your wallet on purpose, refer to her as a 'silly broad', skirt, or other things. Tell her your ex is coming along too(my gf just added: make sure the date knows she has to pay for the ex too). (I am so kidding here, and I know you know it, but I just want to make sure you don't do any of these things.)

Phil
 
ight dude, so the question is do you have game? mention paintball, nuthin says hot chick then when she's sprayin paint at your hightailing butt, (and let her win, the first roundd anyway, big ++ Pain cuases much more powefull endorphins than loud music :D ) After that then go grab some grub, be bold but dont order for her, chicks hate that, let her do most of the talkin first then half way through start your end of the deal. Let her see you leve a GOOD tip... speakin of which you dont need a lot of cash to be all pimptacular, get 20 or 30 bux in ones and use a money clip so she see's a big fat roll... remember your lookin for a mate not a mother if she objects to the paintballs cuz they involve guns, press a little harder if still no leave it at friends, cuz she's Sheeple and prolly wont "let" you have a gun let alone a pocket knife... also maybe grab a some friends and go 4x4 muddin if you like that sort of thing, (I know I do) goto a race track (car not horse or dog) go have fun dude be yourself, don't sweat it she's just a female... My wifes and I's first date was Coyote huntin believe it or not... it was awesome :D
 
well i swear i am the biggest chicken on earth lol. i got as far as asking her what she was up too on saturday (which she is busy with some school function). no farther, sadly (i cant remember if i said "well, if you weren't busy, i thought that we could hang out some", but i really dont remember). well i talked to some of my best friends, and i am just going to ask her out "point blank". we can figure out a day later, i just need to ask. thursday possibly (which i will bring up). wish me luck tomorow......
 
offsetlover said:
and i am just going to ask her out "point blank". we can figure out a day later, i just need to ask. thursday possibly (which i will bring up).
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Luke: All right, I'll give it a try.
Yoda: No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try.

Get over there and ask her. She won't bite ya. Unless of course she likes that kinda thing. :D

:):):)
Good luck buddy! :thumbup::thumbup:

mike
 
Mike is right...grow a pair and ask. :D What's the worst you could hear? "No, I just want to be friends". D@%# "F" word...
 
Also, have a plan, be ready to suggest dates, times, places, activities, etc.
The open ended "do you wanna go out some time?" is never a good idea.
 
It's a shame that you don't drink. When I was in college it was alot easier to ask a woman to a meal. The morning after a big kegger I'd roll over, politely ask her what her name is and if she would like some breakfast.....ah the good ole days.

I'm joking of course.
 
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