Sometimes life doesn't go as planned...

B

bearhunter

Joined
Sep 12, 2009
Messages
1,946
I'm sure some of the 'old school' folks know that I haven't been around in a LONG time!
I had a very busy summer traveling and without Internet most of the time.

THEN... Around two months ago my beautiful wife of 13 years asked for a divorce!
I was at the cabin without Internet access.

On September the 14 my 32yo 1st cousin who was my brother and best friend died in a tragic car accident. I left to come home to Alabama 2 days later. I've been here since and am leaving next Monday to go back to the cabin. I have two weeks then I have to be out after that.
I'm not sure what direction I will go. Montana is my home, I hold out hope that my beautiful Lisa and I can find each other once again.

I'll be back once I figure out exactly what I'm going to do.

Best wishes to you all

Bear
 
Sorry to hear about you and your wife. Hopefully it works out for the best for both of you. Losing someone all the sudden like your cousin is tragic. Prayers to your family and his.
 
Damn Bear I am very sorry to hear about your struggles. It's been 9 months now since my wife and I split. It took about 7 months before I got turned around and on the good side again, and am happy and looking forward to what lies ahead.

Take note that while the present time sucks and you are down and feeling crappy, the future is better and will indeed be. Ahead lies opportunity however you make it, one way or another. It's ok to have days that suck, are hard, crappy, etc. it's fine. You will get thru them.

Let me know if you ever want to bs about it. I can bs about life women beer trucks knives and of course, axes with the best of them.

Best of luck. It gets better.
 
Bear, sorry to hear that life has unpleasant challenges for you right now. I have been where you are at , and it gets better. We are not meant to understand all that happens in our life. Especially your best friend--been there too, and that was the hardest to get thru. Life is what it is, and we just have to roll on. Like what operator said if you need to vent just come on and I will keep you in my prayers, for understanding and acceptance. I promise you it takes time to rebound, one day at a time.
Harold
 
Damn, Brother. That is some really tough shit. I'm really sorry. I certainly don't understand the bad stuff in life, but I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Sorry to hear of all this BH. That's quite the storm upon you. You'll be in my prayers. If you're still wanting your marriage to work then fight for it. Humility can go a long ways in showing love and support for someone. I hope it works out for you.
 
Bearhunter, thanks for letting us know what's up. Yeah that really sucks. Painful. You can lean on us while you get through this. You know we're pulling for you.
 
Operator1975 said:
Damn Bear I am very sorry to hear about your struggles. It's been 9 months now since my wife and I split. It took about 7 months before I got turned around and on the good side again, and am happy and looking forward to what lies ahead.

Take note that while the present time sucks and you are down and feeling crappy, the future is better and will indeed be. Ahead lies opportunity however you make it, one way or another. It's ok to have days that suck, are hard, crappy, etc. it's fine. You will get thru them.

Let me know if you ever want to bs about it. I can bs about life women beer trucks knives and of course, axes with the best of them.

Best of luck. It gets better.
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I couldn't have said it better myself. I've been through a similar situation, I know how bad it sucks. If you haven't done so yet, I would recommend you look at some relationship/marriage/divorce forums online. They can be helpful emotionally, and you can pick up some good advice there. If you can arrange some kind of internet connection (even an hour at Starbucks or McDonalds) at the cabin I would encourage you to do so. For most people a situation like this is not a good time to self- isolate, so try and get out or at least talk to family/friends. Take care of yourself Bear, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers- Jason
 
Bear,
I am sorry you are in this spot right now. Been divorced by surprise 2X, lost too many good people close to me, and watched an alcoholic dope smoker moved in with my kids. Just like many guys here. The only thing you choose is how you handle the knocks.

Feels like getting knocked down, kicked in the nuts, drug down the road and left out in the rain.....daily.

One of the worst things that I thought I would ever face was watching my Dad take his last breath. But I walked outside and the birds were still singing.

The Earth keeps turning, the water keeps flowin' and the wind keeps blowin'.

As long as you are alive, you have a shot at making your own portion of the world a better place for you. Don't ever lose sight of that.

Bill
 
Bloody hell Bear. I've been emailing you for ages and wondering where you've been.

Sorry to hear this my mountain friend. Your pain will be great at the moment and only time will heal that. Time moves slowly at these times.

Kia Kaha...Frank
 
Damn, that sucks. Sorry to hear it. Hang in there man, hope things turn around for ya soon...
 
Sorry to hear this. A lot of us have been there and none of us want to see a "new member" in this club!

You don't know me from Adam's off ox, but just remember that it will get better. Not real fast, maybe, and not all at once, but it will get better. Your task right now is to focus on what's important and meaningful to you, and give yourself time to grow and heal.

And yeah, some days that'll mean unloading in here and that's OK. Sometimes it takes a lotta help to pull ya through.
 
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers!

I've been trying to hold my head up, but its hard at times!!!
Time with family has defiantly helped, but it doesn't change things :(
 
OutdoorEnvy said:
Sorry to hear of all this BH. That's quite the storm upon you. You'll be in my prayers. If you're still wanting your marriage to work then fight for it. Humility can go a long ways in showing love and support for someone. I hope it works out for you.
Click to expand...

Thanks OE... I plan to FIGHT!!!
There is no one else, we just lost each other somehow and she chose to give up :(
 
Bear, sorry to hear about all the recent shit in your life. Do fight for your wife... And may you find peace with the rest. I'll be thinking of you.
 
Sorry to hear this, Bear. Your absence was glaring. Good to see you back.

FWIW, I've been through this too. If you still love your wife then I would make whatever efforts you can to patch things up. If that's not possible then at least try to end the marriage on the best of terms so that there is no ill will between you. I at least managed this and am grateful for it.

If you do end up getting divorced then there will be some big changes in your life. Just remember, when everything else is gone you will still have Bear and he's a helluva guy. Take some time to figure out what you want to do with him. Then do it. Live your own life. It can still be richer than you ever imagined.

Best wishes, my friend.
 
Fight for the marriage man , with the right behavior she can fall in love again. Whatever you do , don't sigh any paperwork.
 
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