Spouse management. Or time to fess up.

Its more of a don't ask, don't tell kind of thing.

She knows I like my toys but I buy them with my fun money. Bills get paid, babies are fed, hasn't been an issue.
 
My wife knows exactly how many knives I have...but she lets me pretend that some of them are secret. :)
She's too observant to pull one over on.
 
Ankerson said:
If a person has to hide their hobbies from their spouse then they married the wrong one.

People buy stuff that they are interested in and that's both men and women.
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See, I totally get what you're saying, and agree, but there are relationship (and personal) dynamics that some of you aren't taking into consideration.

One of them goes back to the "addiction" thread. Other times the dynamic (such as the previously mentioned enabling) plays into furthering the purchases.
 
RevDevil said:
That is awesome. I will say this, you and I are lucky to have supportive families. My wife is more of an enabler than anything else. When I browse the purveyors of cutlery, she'll say,"oh is that an xzy knife? You should order one before they disappear." My jaw usually hits the floor. :D
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Lucky guy. My girlfriend thinks I'm an idiot. lol. "what do you need 100 knives for?" I don't, I only have 50 something........
 
Locutus D'Borg said:
Spouse Management - love the phrase. The technique I use with mine is to narrow my choices (for my next knife) down to 4 or 5. I let her look at them and weigh in on the aesthetics. She has a good eye. This makes her part of the process. The rest is assuring her it will be my last for a while (not further specified).

What she hates is when I get stressed about waiting for a knife to arrive, mailing a knife in a hurry to a buyer, that sort of thing.

And every once in a while I encourage her to buy some more shoes or earrings.
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Exactly as above

Lev
 
The wife knows every time I buy or trade knives. No need to lie to her about it, she works just as I do to pay the bills and our money goes into the same account. She has a right to know where the money goes.
 
The necessary level of communication (both ways) is probably unique to any marriage. My opinion is that it would be hypocritical for one to expect more detail than they are willing to give themselves.

I buy responsibly, in that regard, I never need to discuss (or hide) spending with her. Along the same lines, when finances are tight, I slow or halt my spending...again, no need to discuss or hide.

If you need to hide anything from you wife, it better be a gift for her. I would feel pretty spineless if I thought I needed to sneak around in my own house. YMMV
 
unit said:
The necessary level of communication (both ways) is probably unique to any marriage. My opinion is that it would be hypocritical for one to expect more detail than they are willing to give themselves.

I buy responsibly, in that regard, I never need to discuss (or hide) spending with her. Along the same lines, when finances are tight, I slow or halt my spending...again, no need to discuss or hide.

If you need to hide anything from you wife, it better be a gift for her. I would feel pretty spineless if I thought I needed to sneak around in my own house. YMMV
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Excellent on more than one level. :thumbup:
 
Reading all this is very entertaining and enlightening at the same time. The fact that we interact with our spouses about our hobby purchases just proves the quality of people that are on this forum.

I used to collect long guns and shotguns. I was on a gun forum for a while and this same question came up. One responder said that he bought a new larger gun cabinet that had several empty slots in it for more guns. He said he could then buy more guns without his wife suspecting anything, as she didn't know how many guns he owned, and there was all this open space in his gun cabinet, so if he brought in a new gun it wasn't obvious to her. In all fairness to him, he swapped and traded guns all the time, so she couldn't tell one of his guns from the others. Hmmm, maybe I need a bigger cigar box?

Blessings,

Omar
 
I have my own "warbag" to spend as I please. So does she. She saves most of hers. What for, I don't know...or care. I usually show her a knife when it's delivered. She enjoys seeing them and comments on them. I've also gotten her some "little" ones that she likes, like keyring Spydercos. She actually used one the last time she went on a trip with her girlfriend. Opened some candy with it, I believe.
 
recently my wife spent like $200 and some odd dollars of face products. Didn't ask me about it, nor should she. She thinks they make her look good, i thinks she looks good. Everyone is happy.
More recently I bought a knife for $225. She new I had bought it but made a remark along the lines of what did it cost like $400. I replied back by flipping out my edc bm710 that has been used most every day since 2009 and said "I use this every day, I spent $119 on it 4 years ago." "Where will your skin play pretties be in 4 years?"
 
My better half is very supportive of my outdoor hobbies. I don't do a lot of buying/selling, but when I do it's mostly "upper end" $$$. She has a Paypal account that I request payment to and I always leave a "finance/handling gratuity" to keep her from spending all of it, LOL! I benefit from her seeing the revenue coming in and in turn, she doesn't question purchases.
 
My girlfriend doesn't care what I buy and I don't care what she gets. I show my new knives to her and she seems semi-interested, but thinks they look all the same. She likes the Sebenza though. When I first got it I showed it to her and she took it and ran away with it and I had to chase her to get it back. She gets my blood pumping in more ways than one :D.
 
Mine and I have a 500$ rule: if its costs more than 500 then we have to talk about it. That goes for both of us for everything. It has worked well for us! It also helps that we both work and keep most finances seperated.
 
I tend to run any purchase over a hundred bucks by my wife - not so much for permission, but because she does the bills and keeps the books and I don't want to screw anything up.

In general, she ignores my toy purchases and I ignore hers. We trust each other to be responsible, not to over indulge and not to cause money problems. If you are hiding things from your spouse, it sounds like there is a bigger problem than toys.
 
When my wife and I were first married, she insisted that we each keep "play money" checking accounts in addition to our regular checking and savings account. The general idea was that we both earned money with our regular work which went into the family account, and if we pulled OT, or did side jobs, that money went into the "play money" account. I always thought it was a bit silly, but willingly complied with the system. In retrospect, it had the side-effect of incentivizing me take more side work so I had more fun money. It also was a very good way to avoid arguments about money --- nobody argues about paying the rent, they argue about non-mission-critical expenditure, or failure to earn, that prevent paying the rent. About 4 years ago, we moved and had to set up new banking, and that system went by the wayside. We never argue about money, and I think that the "play money" account system may have given us the time to trust each other about finances.
 
BladeChick777 said:
I say be honest. If she finds out in the future, which she likely will, and finds out you were keeping these things from her, that can really cause some problems. She would feel lied to. That's never a good thing.
Chances are, she's married to you because she loves you, and because she loves you, she will accept and support you in your hobby, even if she doesn't understand it. As long as there's money for your hobby, and for some things she likes, and it's not getting in the way of your bills and other responsibilities, I don't see why there would be an issue.
Be honest and responsible with your choices, and make sure there's money available for her things too, you should be good to go.
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Exactly!
 
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