Sorry Josh, I cant oblige. Im not much for tall tales. I dont hold much truck with liars. The way I see it, this forum is for talking about khukuris. There is a wealth of experience here, and the legitimate purpose of the forum is to share that experience with people new to the curved blade.
For instance, people often wonder about the utility of the khukuri to do real work. How can it be used, does it stand up to extremes of weather, etc.? Well, Ive used my khukuri in some unusual situations that might be enlightening to those less experienced.
I live in Western Washington. The nearness of the Puget sound helps to moderate the temperature, and it is quite comfortable all year round. You might think I have little experience with the use of the khukuri in cold conditions, but you would be wrong. Its just a short hop over the Cascades to Eastern Washington, where the temperatures are extreme and the weather is dry. A lot of farming and ranching goes on over there.
There was a period of time when physicist work was kind of slow over here and I had to get a real job over in Eastern Washington as a ranch hand. It was winter and things got mighty chilly over there. The first job I had was puttin in a stretch of barbed wire fence. Of course, I took my khukuri. Me and a fellow name of Joe went out in that cold to tackle the job. The ground was frozen hard and my khukuri came in mighty handy chipping up the top layer of frozen soil so we could set the posts. Once we got through the frozen layer Joe would hold a post and I would give the top a big smack with the flat of my khukuri to set the post. The system worked well and Joe decided he was going to get himself a khukuri too just as soon as he could get on the phone to Uncle Bill.
After we had set 4 or 5 posts and I was chipping up the soil for the next one, my khukuri broke through into a big hollow in the ground. Joe and I peered inside. It was a crevice in the columnar basalt that is common in the area. A long narrow crack. As we looked more carefully we could see rattlesnakes. Lots of them. It was a rattlesnake den! They werent moving though. It was too cold.
Joe and I pitched in a couple of pebbles to see if we could make them move. They didnt move. In fact they kind of rang when the pebbles hit them. It finally struck us that those rattlesnakes were frozen solid. Now, rattlesnakes in a den are usually all coiled and mixed together, to stay warm. These were in a narrow crack so they couldnt coil together. They were all straight and stacked like cordwood, which may be why they froze. We started pulling those straight frozen rattlesnakes out of the den. We must have got 200 or so. They were big ones too. As long as our fence posts.
I think it was Joe who had the idea of making a name for ourselves by saving the boss money on fence posts by using them snakes. We gave it a try. Joe would hold the frozen snake, rattle down, and I would whap him on the head with my khukuri, driving him into the ground. The tapered tail made them easier to drive than the metal fence posts. We put in quite a stretch of rattlesnake fence before we ran out of snakes.
The boss was mighty pleased with our resourcefulness, for a few days. Then we got a heat wave and the sun came out. Temperatures soared into the 40s. Wouldnt you know it, them snakes woke up. Took off with a good mile of barbed wire, they did. The boss was mighty mad when he saw that missing section of fence. Ended up firing me and Joe, after giving us a good chewing out. Said I wasnt fit for honest labor, sos thats why I went back to being a physicist.
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Now, why dont you guys get back to telling real facts like these about khukuris, and give up this notion of lying to people. Truth is always the best policy, I say.
. I almost bumped it, but I don't want to be accused of necromancy, for although it had some funny stuff, it also had some stuff that probably should't be brought up again right now. So, let's start a new tall tales thread--one to put the old one to shame! I'd start it off, but to tell you the truth, my life has been a bit of a tall tale lately, and I don't want to get into autobiography right now 
. Somebody else do the honors--munk? Danny? Howard? Maybe I'll add something later.
