Thanks man, and yeah I was just barely in control. By the time I would get it back in control something else would happen it seemed. It was an insane emotional roller coaster. Hearing and seeing her come down our drive way all covered in blood from the deck on the upper level made my heart stop beating and time speed up, I couldn't get to her fast enough. I have never been so scared in my life. But she had held pressure was getting the bleeding to stop, until we had to separate her hands to assess the situation, stabilize and wrap it so we could get her out of her soaking wet muddy clothes. She was shivering uncontrollably and starting to go into a panic state. She was scared and had made her way home alone from the park and was starting to become hysterical when I heard her the first time and ran outside. It took a minute to get her calmed down. Then the bleeding started again at the first hospital and we didn't know how much she had lost before making it home. The the nonchalant treatment after the bleeding started again was infuriating to me. Lisa told the first nurse, after we had to take the bandage off to show them the wound, that the bleeding had started again she cave her one small gauze pad, the look Lisa gave her as she took it was something else, and then the receptionist acting like it was just a scratch and she had more important paperwork to worry about. Then when the security guard went and got the actual ER nurse things started moving more like we thought they should. Even she shot the receptionist a look disbelief and anger. Then the ER doctor, Dr. Thompson who has treated my injuries before said he wasn't allowed to send us away but that they were not set up for anesthesia and if it was one of his kids he would take her to children's hospital, and she was stable enough for the trip with the bleeding stopped. So we headed down town. Lisa told them the story so they took her back immediately there. Alayna was looking at a little boy laying on a bed asleep all hooked up to tubes and hoses. She didn't get scared by that, she was worried about the little boy the way she is always worried about others, and she asked what was wrong and if he would be ok. Then things started to move a lot faster there. They were going to have to lay the wound open and irrigate it and clean out the debris. That's why we had come there so they could put her under to do it. Watching as they gave her the potassium chloride and watching her fade out was horrible for me, and she was saying she was scared and all I could do was assure her that it would be fine and would would be right there. Everything was going good at that point, we were watching her vital signs and all seemed fine. Then the doc said they weren't sure they were going to be able to stop the bleeding again and called a surgeon and started prepping an OR and told us we could stay with her that she would have to be woken up anyway since they couldn't keep her under that long. Then the clerical nurse who looked to be about 19 told us very calmly "you will need to go wait outside due to patient confidentiality" as if I gave two shits about anyone else's conversations or even noticed other people talking. At that point the adrenaline got the best of me for a minute and I finally snapped a little. I said that is my daughter and she is not going to wake up hooked up to needles and tubes, to strangers retraining her and working on her and one of us not be there for her. That she could either be ok with us in the hall or let us back in the room. Then I drew fire and kept their attention so Lisa could stay close by out of sight out of mind. In the next few minutes they were able to stop the bleeding and finish the surgery. The situation relaxed and everything was over except the healing. On the way out she was still looking at the little boy asking if he would be ok. She has such a good heart and cares so much about others, one reason I was so infuriated about the lack of caring she was getting at the first place. As we walked down the hall to the car I was somewhat amazed I was there and not in jail, but mostly I was extremely proud of my little girl and how well she had done with the entire ordeal and spent the whole time more worried about others than she was worried about herself. I was thankful that Lisa and I were able to keep it together enough that she could remain that calm when both of us were really losing it on the inside, but both knowing that losing it would only make things worse.
Looking back today, running the whole thing through my head step by step, I am proud of Alayna beyond my ability to express. Children can be so amazing. She has always been a tough little girl, and she has always been a very caring person. I am very thankful Lisa and I were able to keep it together and not screw that up. I'm not sure what I am going to do for her yet for spring break, but whatever personal stuff I have to sell to make it happen I am good with. I am going to make the last part of this week very special for her, and show her that I am extremely proud of her.
I'm glad you enjoy the posts and I hope you enjoy the Fiddleback, these guys make great knives.
