Toilet Paper Alternatives

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sketchbag

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What do you use if youre out in the bush and dont have, or run out of TP?

So far I've been lucky and always come well prepared, but I loath the idea of trying to get clean with a leaf and walking around with monkey butt all day, or worse getting a rash (though you could easily test it somewhere less sensitive first).
 
Don't run out or go swimming.... TP or small travel size TP or Tissue or even travel size baby wipies...
 
I know people used to use Dock leaves;you can also try washing with plain water-this is not as gross as it sounds as a large number of people in Asia still do this.What you are doing is serial dilution and bear in mind faecal bacteria can still cross TP.
 
I have more than one t-shirt that is missing a big square piece from a day spent hunting without TP.
 
Return of the J.D. said:
I've heard of people using mullein leaves. Here's a picture:

http://www.missouriplants.com/Others/Toxicodendron_radicans_page.html

Er . . . actually, that was a picture of poison ivy. I mean, HERE is a picture of mullein:

http://www.altnature.com/gallery/mullien.htm
Click to expand...

OH god that's funny!
I actuallty know someone who got P. Ivy on their ass... and I mean their ass hole, not their whole ass...it nearly put them in the hospital.

Washing your butt is probably even better than TP, just go Muslim and remember which hand.
This is not even really a wilderness survival topic as their is a significant portion of the world population that has probably never even see toilet paper, it is a luxury. There is also a movement in the backpacking community to stop using TP in the woods:rolleyes:. Some places are abundant in natural butt cleaning supplies, but try finding something without thorns in most deserts.

edit: not picking on Islam, I'm sure there are plenty of Christians, Budhists and Heathens out there that eat with their poopy hand.:barf:
 
Rodney Carrington says it best in his song:

When I'm sittin on a toilet, in a house that I dont know,
Looking all around me where the toilet paper goes,
feeling real uneasy,
feeling real uncertain,
Cause I gotta wipe my butt again,
With the shower curtain,
 
cut off yer underwear, cut that in half, use one half to wipe now. Store other half for later on if you go again. If you get a clean break you might get to use 4 pieces outa one pair of drawers.
 
sketchbag said:
What do you use if youre out in the bush and dont have, or run out of TP?

So far I've been lucky and always come well prepared, but I loath the idea of trying to get clean with a leaf and walking around with monkey butt all day, or worse getting a rash (though you could easily test it somewhere less sensitive first).
Click to expand...

Don't run out, mate, unless you want to go all sissipaska, or are really good at holding it back. :D

If you do run out, or intend to go hardcore, there's always all sorts of leaves, bark, even snow, and if you're around a lot of water (there's water everywhere in Finland), you can always dip that ash in that. Just don't drink that water afterwards. :barf:
 
Ron Hood advocates bringing a dedicated "ass rag." I used this on the trip in Idaho with him, and it worked well. You use a tiny different bit of "real estate" on it. However, you must be extremely careful. I suggested that, to make sure there are no mistakes, one side should be clearly marked "ass," and the other, "face." :D:D That is a joke. Never use the same rag for both.

Seriously, though, I have some hygiene concerns with this method, although we had no problems on that trip. The seriousness of getting sick in the wilderness is multiplied exponentially compared to civilization. If you use this method, bring a good supply of Cipro! :)

Edited to add: Ron has advocated and used this method for eons with no problems, so my reservations may be based on preference more than anything.
 
Brian Jones said:
Ron Hood advocates bringing a dedicated "ass rag." I used this on the trip in Idaho with him, and it worked well.
Click to expand...

Just for clarification Brian, I am assuming on your trip that you had your ass rag and Ron had his ass rag rather than both of you using 'the' ass rag... :confused:
 
kgd said:
Just for clarification Brian, I am assuming on your trip that you had your ass rag and Ron had his ass rag rather than both of you using 'the' ass rag... :confused:
Click to expand...

LM-ASS-O! Yes, we each had our own rag!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:
 
Ive used leaes. The bigger the better. Rags , or just wash up in a stream.

My brother and I were mushroom hunting when I had to go, now. My brother has on a white tee shirt. I see a man approaching wearing a white tshirt. I just assumed it was my brother. Wrong.

Another time I got drunk. We were camping on an Island. My friends couldnt wake me in the morning , so they left me there , took the boat and went for breakfast. So i was squatting on the bank of that island mad as hell, dumping a load and I said outloud . "I cant believe those $#&%$ left me on this &%$^^$% island." then I noticed some guy on the other side of the chute fishing. Oh well. Its funny now.
 
a stick , or grass works for me .

I found that when Im out and about , my turds come away clean anyway leaving very little to wipe away after the job is done . There is a lot to be said for a natural diet I guess :)
 
leaves...I hear that Ivy works the best.
 
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