Useless Knives

I have been given 3 absolute junk folding knives. 2 were made in China and the other one in Pakistan. There was so much blade play it was amazing. They also weighed about 3 lbs. each and felt like the handles were made from cast iron or cast pot metal.

Just junk. I can't believe anyone would actually ever use such a knife.


That picture is funny. I bet it feels real good poking you all the time. Well, if you actually carried it.
 
I some how ended up with a Gerber Paraframe. What a POS. Never could get an edge on it. I keep it as a beater. The last time I use it was to dig a rock out of the ground so I wouldn't hit it with the mower.
 
The first one that comes to mind is one of those Black Eagle Spyderco knockoffs. It was fully seill dull somehow. serrated, yet still dull. I had it for a few months, until a friend of mine broke it trying to open up a deer. The lock broke and the blade ended up bending the wrong way.
 
"Practical Plus" ninja sword from Hanwei Forge. It not useless due to anything other than the fact that I'm not a ninja.

It's a "battle ready" sword meant for chopping exercises, so it's not a wall hanger. It's even got a carbon steel differentially tempered (but not laminated) blade. I bought it on the pretext that my wife is a martial artist, but really I just wanted to have it around to play with.
 
Anyone remember the Gerber Multi-lite? I bought one on an impulse and found it pretty inconvenient to use. Not necessarily a total P.O.S., but just not all that useful. It now lives in the sheath pocket of my Becker Crewman.
 
GarageBoy said:
Wow...open that up for us please?
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You're kidding right?
It's an old pic.
It is so far down in the crap drawer I'd have to take vacation time to find it :D
 
The most useless knife I've ever seen belongs to a collector I know. He runs a local restaurant and all his customers know he loves knives, so he's always getting cheapo Chinese and Pakistani novelty/garbage blades as gifts.

Someone gave him one of those novelty "giant pocketknives" with some tacky picture on the plastic scales. Thing is about 14" long and 6" wide . . . closed!. You've gotta hold the thing with 2 hands, it has no lock, and the chrome-plated untempered blade is incapable of holding an edge.

WTF would anyone manufacture something like this? And what sort of *DELETED* idiot (tourists?) would actually buy one? This totally worthless piece of garbage is obviously designed as a "display piece", but if you display it people will look at it and think you must be borderline retarded or something. I guess it's the knife equivilant of the "singing fish mounted on the wall" -- kinda funny the first time you see it, but not something you actually want to have on display in your house. . .

A completely unusable knife . . . beat that!
 
I know what you mean. I often also wonder what kind of person would buy such a thing. I would imagine more than just mongoloids. Probably a large percentage are caucasoid or negroid. Just thought I'd point out - mongoloid in the context in which you used it is technically racist. The word was originally coined by some guy that ran a looney bin sometime during the 19th century to describe patients with the appearance of Down Syndrome. He theorized that asians weren't as developed as caucasians, hence their smaller stature and features. It has long fallen out of proper usage and might offend SOME Asian people in the forum. I really don't give a flip as long as you know now.

Shao

tyr_shadowblade said:
WTF would anyone manufacture something like this? And what sort of mongoloid idiot (tourists?) would actually buy one? This totally worthless piece of garbage is obviously designed as a "display piece", but if you display it people will look at it and think you must be borderline retarded or something. I guess it's the knife equivilant of the "singing fish mounted on the wall" -- kinda funny the first time you see it, but not something you actually want to have on display in your house. . .

A completely unusable knife . . . beat that!
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Ebbtide, my brother-in-law has that exact knife... He uses it daily, and actually thinks it's a decent knife. It is so loose you can flick it open without touching the blade, and the lock play is downright scary. But he's got it shaving sharp, and as it's the only locking folder he owns (to my knowledge), he really has nothing to compare it to, I guess.

My most useless knife would be a tie between my Gerber Paraframe II, which falls apart at the drop of a hat (I haven't got around to threadlocking it completely yet), and a cheap Fury fixed-blade my sister gave me. It's some kind of modified tanto with a cord-wrapped handle, but I broke the cord the handle was wrapped in throwing it (I know, I know...), and replaced it temporarily with strips of old t-shirt... since I'll never actually use it anyway. :)
 
Cold steel Scimitar, It's a pretty good knife but it's impractical. The handle is on the long side. I liked it before I picked it up. I found a seller on ebay that had it very cheap, (like $35) and I jumped at it. I still like it, just don't have much use for it.
 
Hope I don't offend anyone, and keep in mind, I'm a huge Spyderco fan...

....But I held the Spyderco karambit the other day and...i just don't get it.

The point is aimed at me!

karambit.jpg


I so wanted to "get it." If it had just a much less mild blade curve, like the Emersons

NEMKARAMBIT-SF.jpg


I'd be all over it. Redesign this one!
 
Kyp Degal said:
Ebbtide, my brother-in-law has that exact knife... He uses it daily, and actually thinks it's a decent knife. It is so loose you can flick it open without touching the blade, and the lock play is downright scary. But he's got it shaving sharp, and as it's the only locking folder he owns (to my knowledge), he really has nothing to compare it to, I guess.
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You should spend $20 and buy him a Byrd CaraCara. (Unless you hate him.;) )
 
I got a Kit Rae fantasy piece for Xmas one year - I forget the name, it was a double bladed push dagger thing. (Blade of Baelin? Sumfin like dat.) Worthless even AS a stick-someone-and-walk-away blade, because I'm not sure you could. Cast handle, sucker had to weigh two pounds.
 
I bought one of those Rambo knockoffs with the hollow handle for about 5 bucks just to personally see how worthless they were. Yep - no surprises there. It was a total piece of crap. The blade did not seem to be made of tempered steel. One thing that almost made it worth the 5 bucks is that it was the first and only fixed blade knife I had ever seen that actually had a noticeable blade play. I do believe that the handle would have come right off with moderate "use".
 
mycroftt said:
I bought one of those Rambo knockoffs with the hollow handle for about 5 bucks just to personally see how worthless they were. Yep - no surprises there. It was a total piece of crap. The blade did not seem to be made of tempered steel. One thing that almost made it worth the 5 bucks is that it was the first and only fixed blade knife I had ever seen that actually had a noticeable blade play. I do believe that the handle would have come right off with moderate "use".
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I had one of those when I was around 15. The blade broke off when I use it to cut up some bait fish.
 
shao.fu.tzer said:
Just thought I'd point out - mongoloid in the context in which you used it is technically racist. The word was originally coined by some guy that ran a looney bin sometime during the 19th century to describe patients with the appearance of Down Syndrome.

Shao
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Oops! Sorry 'bout that! :foot:

I meant *DELETED* rather than *DELETED* . . . *DELETED* (lower-case "m") is used to insult a person of moronic IQ throughout the humorous book, A Confederacy of Dunces by O'Toole, to great effect.

Again, I apologize for using a derogatory adjective with a dual meaning . . . it was in no way intended as an ethnic slur!
 
Camillus Lev-R-Lock - the thing is a lockback, and pushes back past it's opened position (to an extreme).
 
Rat Finkenstein said:
You should spend $20 and buy him a Byrd CaraCara. (Unless you hate him.;) )
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I was considering getting him a Ka-Bar Dozier Folding Hunter... But I've already convinced my sister to get him a Ka-Bar USMC for Father's Day, after he basically drooled all over mine, so one could say my brotherly duty is done... (Plus I'm saving every spare dime for a Swamp Rat ;) :D ) I'm sure I'll get him a decent folder eventually, though.
 
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