Victim or Rebel, a discussion

[C.S. Graves]

Actually they're cool.

l've worked there for 14 years and been treated better by them than by any american company l've ever worked for.

Sounds good. Would we dare to make a blanket statement and attribute this to old-world etiquette versus the frontier mentality of the new?

 

[Wolf_1989]

Sounds good. Would we dare to make a blanket statement and attribute this to old-world etiquette versus the frontier mentality of the new?

Maybe.

All I can say is they pay more than minimum wage, offer great dental & health insurance, and actually gave me promotions... every american company I ever worked for was minimum wage, no health insurance, and little if any raises.

They've always been upfront and honest about any changes to the company too. No B.S. or doubletalk.

All they ask is one shows up for work, you do your job the best you can, and try to improve any of your mistakes.

 

[tyr_shadowblade]

Today at lunch I sat with a very sad young lady who thought she was useless and had no purpose in life but to make everyone else judge her. This child is not just a straight A student, but A+'s all the way down and yet because of the price of conforming to the status quo feels worthless and useless...............WOW that's heavy. Some people are very sensitive to feelings and emotions and because of the way their brains work they just don't seem to be able to seperate some of the more basics in life. Anyone got a good answer??

Whatever you do, DO NOT take her to counseling. They'll tell her she is "clinically depressed" because of a "chemical imbalance" and prescribe anti-depressant happy pills.

This girl is better than most people. It is a shame that one so smart and so sensitive is treated poorly by the insolent sheeple -- although that is generally the case. Can she get involved in some sort of extracurricular activity with some group involved with artistic or intellectual pursuits rather than "popularity"? She is not the problem -- it is THEM.

Google "Briggs Myer personality test" and have her take it. I bet that she'll be classified as either an INFP or INFJ -- both of which are extremely rare (less than 1% of the population). Such persons are introverted, intuitive, empathic, and highly gifted. She is a very special lady, and needs to learn that other people's opinions of her are irrelevant. She needs to focus on using her talents and block all that insignificant "popularity" BS out.

 

[gravertom]

I'm with you shadowblade.

My experience as a higly emotional person is that we have the benefit of the highs being very high, and the curse of the lows being, at times, very low.

I am learning to just accept that, and not be suprised or worried about myself when those things happen.

We need stable people, but we need people who can transcend stability at times too.

Knowning that my "abnormalcy" is "normal" has helped me a lot. maybe it will help her, too.

The reason the village heretic is often tolerated is because his worth is intuitively appreciated. Outside perspective is very helpful in order to keep a society healthy.

being different can be a hard lot, but I wouldn't trade the extremes for the flat line. That is not to disparage those who prefer a narrower range.

HTH,

Tom

 

[tsf]

Gin,
You have already begun the first step. Someone seeing the problem and caring about it. Sometimes all people need is that one person who can tell them every once and awhile there is nothing wrong with them and they are accepted for who they are. Learning to like oneself despite what we believe others think about us is sometimes difficult. Be a friend and support her. I'm not a fan of counselors or psychiatrists. Seen too many people damaged by them. There are good ones, but you have to be kind of savvy to root them out.
Terry

 

[C.S. Graves]

Maybe.

All I can say is they pay more than minimum wage, offer great dental & health insurance, and actually gave me promotions... every american company I ever worked for was minimum wage, no health insurance, and little if any raises.

They've always been upfront and honest about any changes to the company too. No B.S. or doubletalk.

All they ask is one shows up for work, you do your job the best you can, and try to improve any of your mistakes.

Who WOULDN'T show up and work hard if the company gave some incentives like that?

Whatever you do, DO NOT take her to counseling. They'll tell her she is "clinically depressed" because of a "chemical imbalance" and prescribe anti-depressant happy pills.

Yeah, heaven forfend we find some external stimuli that fosters depression and try to fix THAT, right?

 

[Howard Wallace]

Should a person have to change the way they dress, walk, talk, etc,etc etc to be accepted as a person??

Interesting. Perhaps the question should be framed "Should a person have to change the way they dress, walk, talk, etc,etc etc to be accepted as a person by me??" The question and it's answer are now within the control of the asker. If the question is asked truly the answer might be unpleasant.

I started this thread based off of several recent incidences that have occured and the discussion of which led to the victim mentality accusation. Today at lunch I sat with a very sad young lady who thought she was useless and had no purpose in life but to make everyone else judge her. This child is not just a straight A student, but A+'s all the way down and yet because of the price of conforming to the status quo feels worthless and useless...............WOW that's heavy. Some people are very sensitive to feelings and emotions and because of the way their brains work they just don't seem to be able to seperate some of the more basics in life. Anyone got a good answer??

This is a not uncommon among adoloescents. Hence adolescent rebellion, ragtime, jazz, rock and roll, pierced eyebrows, pink hair, etc.. And yet the same youths seeking unconditional acceptance will be mercilessly cruel to others. Perhaps the squares, or the old fogies. Maybe the jocks or the nerds. At a certain point some people start to see where the changes have to begin.

Highly achieving students are often driven by a desire to please authority figures. I encountered this as a teacher and one of the difficult parts of the job was releiving stress for these people while increasing stress on other segments of the student population who were apathetic and underperforming. Those efforts of mine were a steering from without.

For my own children, I gave them copies of the writings of Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius. Also read and discussed short passages over the dinner table for years, along with other selections from people who have faced these important issues concerning the human condition.

 

[Nasty]

...Perhaps the question should be framed "Should a person have to change the way they dress, walk, talk, etc,etc etc to be accepted as a person by me??" The question and it's answer are now within the control of the asker. If the question is asked truly the answer might be unpleasant.

I honestly respect the way Howard often gets right to the bone...very insightful and thought provoking.

Unfortunately...some people don't have the life experiences, confidence and insight Howard has. Those folks without those tools are indeed at the mercy of a very often cruel world. Howard is a superman and untouchable in many respects...the frail ones can indeed be victimized.

 

[Howard Wallace]

Nasty, Thank you for your gracious words. Kind as they are, they are a bit misleading.

I am a student like the rest of us here in this realm. I've learned a lot in this forum which you, Yvsa, and Yangdu so compassionately maintain for interchange between us student-travelers. The only reason I speak out like I did above above is that I've probably done more stupid, unskillful, and hurtful things than some here, and that gives me a different perspective on some of the potholes in the road.

Sometimes it's good for us to share our perspectives as some of the potholes are visible from one direction and not another. I appreciate the other perspectives I am given here on the forum and have found them to be very helpful for my own travels.

Namaste.

 

[jurassicnarc44]

Yo....Mamav....That you even raised this issue speaks volumes. This old lawman turned high school teacher has heard similar before, and my diagnosis is a need for some personal affirmation of your world view. My perscription is old fashioned, but works; I suggest hug therapy..........

I for one look forward to your posts and value your opinion. Clearly, on occasion, you have gone out of your way to care for or visit others that have been in need. Your employment choices bear this out. So for what its worth, consider yourself hugged! If the soul is beautiful, what need have we for fancy duds? Kick back, and enjoy being you. ..............jn