Sorry BTC.
you are my favorite feline. I'd hate to see you end up on the wrong end of the taco. As Tsimi says ; he's "prowlin' and growlin'". I'd be on alert for the old, gimpy, crotchety,grumpy, most likely highly odoriferous, cantankerous, bat loving, guano merchant. Pile higher and deeper indeed.
But you know, it does raise some interesting observations and issues. As a matter of fact BTC, as you are so able to see truly into the heart of the issue I'm sure you've already taken the appropriate precautions: Tiger traps, claymores, tactical nukes, etc.
You know Tsimi is unpredictable at best and dayum near impossible to find. Not that you couldn't sense his whereabouts to within 1/2 mile even if you were suffering with a severe head cold - eeew that smell!The location of the Cave is still a mystery. I'd look at the largest fertilizer manufacturing facilities in FL. first. Holy batcave batman!
Better to go to the places he frequents most if you want to put your finger on him. Not that you'd want to.....until he's gone 12 rounds with Life Buoy, Mentadent and the Lomotil Drug Rep.
One of the best place to find him is prowling the litter aisles at Petco/PetSmart with a 12in AK( presumably where the ethereal "redheads" come from).
Politely asking unsuspecting young ladies what kind of furry feline they have, how healthy of an appetite they possess, what exactly their temperment is like, are they prone to hairballs, etc.
Normally these questions wouldn't raise any hackles (no offense BTC), but when asked by an (it does bear repeating)old, gimpy, crotchety, grumpy, most likely highly odoriferous, cantankerous, bat loving guano merchant, then things get a bit ( excuse the pun )hairy.
You see, it is at these times that he begins to salivate ( at the feline not the redhead) and in a subtle motion for Tsimi (this is akin to a cannon blast in the face to the rest of us) he makes his move.
Let me just throw this out: Maxwell's Silver Hammer ring any bells? A guano merchant by day and a chef of dubious skills, Tsimi simply absconds with yon furry "guest" and is gone. Sure his picture is on the Petco most wanted list which forces him to changes tactics. Sometimes he simply poses as an employee, ( why else is he alluding to being " retired"?) says that the pretty little thing ( the kitty not the redhead) has won an all expense paid trip to an "exclusive spa and treatment center" and that the store needs to properly identify/ award/ present, etc them in the "bosses office." The result: another serving of the infamous Jimmy Clifton's Clay Pipe Baked Kitty - "just like granny made."
Burp!
:barf:
Then that evil,rotten,no good,pill poppin,bad breath,stinkin up the joint,smug,rantin & ravin ,polecat RUSS!!He takes POTSHOTS at the poor DUCK
