Dr.Lathe,
I realize that this is not a thread about the space/time continuum, nor about the continuu ahhh eh um (or however you spell it!) I merely wanted to point out that your question is moot, as the closer you get to the speed of light, the longer it would take for you to turn the damn thing on, Spyder hole or not! Well, maybe if you used really good teflon washers... let me check my book,
Einstein's Guide to Making Knives Adjusted for Relativistic Speeds..... page 46..... nope! Not even teflon washers will help! Sorry Dr. Lathe!
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"Come What May..."