What your watch says about you...

M

MikeGram

Joined
Jun 17, 2003
Messages
95
Here is a handy guide to watch/personality assessment that I made up from my general life experience.

DISCLAIMER:
a) These are generalizations and may not apply to every wearer.
b) Not applicable for sports or at the gym.
c) You can't tell anything about a woman from her watch, except whether she is with a rich guy. Women never buy expensive watches themselves.



1. Watch
2. Personality Type
3. Automobile Equivalent


1. Plastic Watch (any)
2. Likable Doofus (only applies if worn w/suit). If worn with a suit, this usually indicates a person who doesn't really give a crap about much, or else is completely unconcerned with appearances. Your math teacher wears a plastic watch with his cheap suit. Sadly, so do many doctors.
3. Ford Tempo


1. Timex (any model)
2. You can't draw any inferences from this, other the wearer is probably not into watches. The exception is wearing a plastic Timex with a suit (see above). Some watch freaks are known to occasionally wear a Timex. Truly one of the more enigmatic types.
3. Ford Taurus


1. Guess, Fossil, Nixon, etc.
2. Low-budget Hipster. This person probably reads a lot of Maxim/FHM and thinks Oakley sunglasses are the ultimate expression of coolness.
3. Pontiac Sunfire with loud exhaust and huge spoiler


1. Seiko, Citizen
2. Average Decent Guy. Nothing flashy, just a guy who quietly goes about his business without getting in your face.
3. Honda Accord


1. Quartz Gucci "G" Watch
2. Cokehead. This person loves the schnay. Probably also thinks that he is THE FRIGGIN' MAN, while in point of fact, he is most definitely not The Man. Likely to be worn with in conjunction with tight jeans.
3. BMW Z3 1.8 (wearer is not aware that this is a girl car)


1. Quartz TAG Heuer
2. Mindless Trendster. Highly susceptible to advertising, the wearer of this watch buys Bose audio products, and anything else that had a convincing ad in Details magazine.
NOTE: I'm not saying that TAG watches are nearly as crappy as Bose's junk audio products, just that people who buy one tend to also buy the other. Sorry, but they ARE pretty crappy for the price, just not Bose crappy.
3. Whatever is trendiest. VW Touareg that will never be taken off-road, for example.


1. Rolex Day-Date
2. Rich Prick / Mobster. If the wearer is an actual mobster, then OK, cool. More likely, he is a rich prick who knows nothing about the watch other than it cost twenty grand. This person owns a lot of other overpriced items that he thinks will compensate for being a complete dickwad. All his employees hate him.
3. Cadillac Escalade. ("Ooh, look at me, I drive an Escalade and know nothing about cars!")


1. Rolex Stainless Submariner.
2. Cool Guy. This guy is probably actually pretty cool, and isn't an overbearing prick about it. May be a little too into James Bond movies, but that's OK.
Warning: May be a Mindless Trendster, though with more money than the TAG guy.
3. Mercedes E-class with no ridiculous garbage like huge chrome wheels.


1. Patek Philippe (any)
2. Super Rich Guy. I have never met anyone who owns one of these, but I guarantee that he is way less of an prick than the guy with the Rolex Day-Date, and may actually know something useful.
3. Gulfstream V jet


This is just a rough guide, and is subject to error. The exception is Gucci "G" watch wearers, who are invariably cokeheads.


Well, I think this will manage to enrage enough people for one message. Remember, it's all in good fun.


Note to Mods: Please don't move this thread. Though it is meant as humor, I think it contains enough grains of truth regarding watch quality to have some value to prospective watch buyers...
 
How come you didn't include Omega wearing people???

And G-Shock as well...ehhehe...that would be interesting as quite a few people on this forum do wear those....
 
You forgot the ubiquitous 2-tone Subby and also the Daytona. In a business class, we were subjected to a video all about Fossil as a 'successful' business model. I was rolling my eyes through the whole thing for obvious reasons. The teacher, however, was in earnest... Most, if not all, the students sat there cow eyed lapping up the 'knowledge' the video inferred. Sometimes I feel very alone.
 
Originally posted by Point44
How come you didn't include Omega wearing people???
Click to expand...
What do you expect? He jumped from Tag to Rolex. So this is obviously for posers only (except for the Patek remark). :p

Every Real watch lover knows about the missing tier brands: Omegas, Breitlings, IWC, Sinn, Bell&Ross, Panerai and lots of others. ;)
 
I often wear my Patek daily but my car is 15 years old and is more in line with my income. I must be one of those exceptions that proves rules. Does my Rolex Explorer l make me cool? No, then I'll just have to wear two omegas to keep up;)
 
Originally posted by Point44
And G-Shock as well...ehhehe...that would be interesting as quite a few people on this forum do wear those....
Click to expand...
G-Shocks are for people who will punch you out for making snide remarks about their watches! :D
 
I wear a plastic watch (Casio Protrek Pathfinder Triple Sensor Tough Solar), AND I drive a Ford Tempo.

WHAT???.:D.:D.
 
Now I don´t know what I am, I may carry an old Haste pocket watch or wear a Longines automatic, or a wind-up Poljot or a Seiko 5 or a Mido commander, on weekends usually it´s a Citizen eco-drive I do have a plastic quartz analog and use to teach highschool math, but I don´t wear a suit. I take the subway to work, I do own two simple cars (1989 VW and 1995 Chrysler).

Next watch in my wanted list is a Hamilton Khaki wind-up with leather band, unless of course I find something interesting first.
 
Damn it...
I wear a Tag Heuer which i got as a wedding present as well as a G-Shock...come to think of it the G-Shock was bought with coupons i got as a wedding present...

Considering i'm 24 and i've never worked a day in my life i don't mind since i don't really have money to buy anything more expensive...

What does that say about me? Should i get a new watch?
 
point44, YES, you need to get a new watch. Send your current Tag to me, a bonified mindless trendster, and I will deal with the afformentioned item accordingly.


Mike, man. This personality assessment is harsh... I'm just an average guy? All this time I thought I was special...
So.. what do YOU wear? ;)
 
As some of you may know, I wear something mechanical and consistent with my meager engineering student income, a Poljot Aviator Chronograph.

Note that with the exception of the Day-Date, mechanical watches indicate good personality qualities... so you can sort of infer the characteristics of those who wear something like an Audemars Piuget or Breguet.

Oris, Fortis and other mid-level makers get high marks too, of course.
 
1) Omega Speedy auto, '86, with cal. 1045; and recent Speedy Pro
2) Average Decent guy with a few odd twists
3) Restored series 1 Fulvia Coupe and a shopping-bag on wheels; a tired Renault 5 TR

Hmmm. Thing is, I've got 9 totally different other watches. What would they turn me into...? :D
 
1. Westclox Dax(pre ww2 purchase)
2. Fairly decent individual. Low budget, dresses comfortably.
3. Murcury(ford) 87 sable(if it works, been down for 3 weeks now)... or bike when it's warmer.
4 (knives!): classic designs... slipjoints and small fixed blades.
 
i wear a citizen skyhawk and drive a 14 yr old nissan maxima. pretty close to a honda accord.
 
Good Evening All-

A tough Omega Seamaster with whom I'm familiar just said that he would shoot someone who tried to mess with his younger brother, an IWC Portugieser. They both agree that their owner is incredibly suave and debonair. Who ever knew watches could speak?

~ Blue Jays ~
 
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