#1 Well, amazingly enough in my 75 years on this Earth I have yet to get a real nasty knife wound by my own hand. Sure I have had the typical kitchen slices, but nothing real serious. About five years ago, however, I messed up my hand and body by accident while getting into the shower. Ok, it wasn't a knife, but when I am done the story, I can assure you that the culprit was as sharp as any knife I have ever seen. Anyhow, after turning on the water and getting ready to go in the shower, I stood up and knocked my head on a ceramic shelf on the wall of the shower stall. The shelf sheered off like shale, bounced around on my head, came down on my right hand, and proceeded to tumble down my body onto my foot. I had a tremendous side slice on my right middle finger, almost like a deli slicer had taken a half run at it; good flap of meat there. I also had various cuts and slices down my entire body, and my foot had a small gash too. The real big one was the finger though. I tested for tendon and nerve damage, all was ok. Well, if you're like me and don't have time to wait in a hospital waiting room all damn night, then you know a trip to the ER is not an option. Instead, I remebered something from a bit of work I did with the Navy during or around the Korean War (1953 I think, just before Canadians were slated to ship out but never did). They had invented a new liquid back then to close internal wounds without stitching, as a field emergency technique. This stuff later came to be known as Crazy Glue. (yeah, it is actually true, weird huh?). Anyway, I glued the flap down with Crazy Glue, and yup, she healed up in about 2 weeks with just a typical scar. Now that I've jinxed myself, I'll probably cut my bum cheek with my watch next time I wipe me arse or something...
#2 This one didn't happen to me, and I heard it about 25 years ago, also through my cousin, so who really knows how authentic the tale is. Apparently a friend of his was splitting firewood with an axe, and the blade glanced off a log and struck his leg. He looked down, but realized there was no gash in his jeans, so he kept on choppin. Well, later that night when he went to bed, he took off his pants and gave a horrific howl of pain. What had happened is the edges of the jeans went into the wound, and pretty much sealed it up. When he took off his jeans, it yanked the jeans out, that has since scabbed right through with blood. Ow.
#3 I was also a scout leader for a while, and an older kid, maybe 16 or so, was having a contest with his friend to see who could stab this cheesy folding knife into the side of one of the cabins at the camp. With a wild lunge, this kid apparently hit the wall so hard, the pivot pin of the knife sheered off and sent his fully gripped hand down the length of the blade. It nearly severed all his fingers, cutting right through all four inner tendons and nicking the bones. He is a friend of my son, and my son says he still has very limited mobility with that hand.
