Wish me luck my friends.

D

DiscusMan

Joined
Jun 30, 2011
Messages
107
My wife an I are separating, which will more than likely end in divorce. I'm moving out of my house that I built with my own two hands. I won't have a computer, internet or even cable where I'm going. So needless to say I won't be on here for a long while. All I ever wanted to be is a good father and husband which I have done for the psat 8 years. My wife would rather spend time with guys she works with than be home with her husband and 3 children. Not being mean it's just the honest truth. Once again I have to start over from nothing. We are sharing custody of the kids so at least that is not an issue. Anyway, I'll be checking in here for 2 more days but after that I'll be moved out and have to concentrate on just surviving and providing for 3 children. Thoughts and prasyers are appreciated. All my HI products are going with me of course, so I'll be here in thought even if I can't log in. Hope to talk to you guys again one day. Honestly this is for the best way too much argueing and fighting around the kids. Thank you all for all your friendship and helpful words. And thank you Yangdu for putting up with me and my endless Emails. Till we speak again.:(
 
I'm so sorry, dude :( Forgive my puny concerns about the wood, you've undoubtedly got much larger fish to fry now. I hope it works out in the end, whichever way you need it to. You're a good dude, DiscusMan. This wife of yours doesn't know what she is losing, or you two were just a relationship that would never have worked in the grand scheme of things. However it goes...I hope it goes well for you. Peace, man.
David
 
Bah! Why is it always the guys that has to leave and have to give up the bigger chunk of things? I had to go through the same thing minus children but I still lost out and ended up in my dad's camper in his parking lot of his duplex for the summer.

Discus, I really hope you end up getting the better end of the deal in this and get that woman out of that house you build with your own two hands. She can go stay with her "guys" instead.

Bah humbug! We're here for you (even as new as I am on here).
 
You can find the Cantina if you have to. There are libraries, phones, a hundred ways.

There are people here with good hearts who have been in similar places. Seek them out if you need to. Sometimes swords of discerning wisdom will help when swords of steel can not.
 
Best of luck man... it seems there is a lot of this stuff going around. Just try to keep your chin up and head clear. 2011 sucked royally for me. I'm only hoping that 2012 is the start of a very long upswing.

Good luck and like Howard says... you can find ways to get on here. And don't underestimate the power of the people. For reference, in my turmoil people that I've never met and don't even know donated to help me out when asked by friends of friends of friends. It didn't make it problem free but it made it easier for sure.

DM
 
Blessings to you and your family --- no matter how it works out i pray that you are all safe and healthy -- you stated -- "All I ever wanted to be is a good father and husband"

just that fact that you say that tells me you are a "good father and husband" I have a lot of respect for any man that doesn’t want " too much arguing and fighting around the kids"

when relationships go bad so many people forget about the damage that “arguing and fighting around the kids” can do to children -- much respect and hope for you and yours.

Prayers and Positive thoughts your way

Sincerely; Eric
 
I have 3 year old twins and an 8 year ols step daughter who I raised since she was 6 months old. My children are first and foremost always. In 2 days I managed to get a 2 bedroom trailer to rent, furniture, dishes, plates, and beds for them to sleep in. I don't cheat I don't drink or go to bars or clubs. All I want is my wife to act like a mother and a wife like she is supposed to. Anyway, everything ti lined up and ready to go just waiting to see what she decides to do. Needless to say splitting up will make her life harder for a long time. For those of you wondering, I could make her leave this house but that would effect the children even more. Plus the fact that she can't take care of herself. I love her and always will and will forgive her and work through it no matter what she has done. But she has to be willing to change, and I can't do that for her. The only person who can change her is herself. We'll see how it goes. The next couple days will tell the tale. I'll keep everyone posted. Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and smoke up. BTW what does "smoke up" mean exactly. Excuse the dumb question.
 
good luck to you. Just a little bit of friendly advice as we have seen these sorts of things before, you might want to keep any legal details under your hat. It's not that we don't want to help or hear about your troubles. Quite the contrary. It's just that should this become a court matter, online posts/rants/info can come back and bite you.

But it sounds like you're doing right by your children. That's what a good dad does. I respect you immensely for that. "Smoke up" just means that whether via good thoughts or literally lighting prayer smoke as some folks are apt to do, we are sending our "smoke" up in hopes that positive things go your way.
 
If we do split up we will share custody 50 50. No worries there thankfully. That has always been clear and understood. No child support or alamony ect. We would just sign divorce papers, I'll take my stuff, she'll keep her stuff, and share the kids. That is one thing I respect her for she dosen't want to keep my kids from me. I just want my wife to appreciate the fact that I am a devoted husband and father which is hard to come by nowadays. Things always work out for the better in the end. Just takes time.
 
One thing dad has told me time and time again for many things, "Always keep your side of the street clean". I can't stress how important that is.

And Steely is right about the part of talking anything legal on here can come back and bite you in such an unpredictable way and fashion.

One question, Discus. Why would you give her the house if she's unable to take care of herself? Wouldn't kicking her out be a life lesson she might need while you and the kids stay home in that house? Of course I/we don't know the whole story but that's the perspective I'm currently using until shown otherwise. Letting her have the house seems a little like enabling her (based on my experience with my ex-wife). Regardless, hope it all works out.

I always thought that "smoke up" would mean using dried sage and using it as a blessing or such?
 
Smoke and prayers from Reno
 
Discus

I have recently finished walking the valley that you are just now entering. I would add a resounding AMEN to the excellent advice from Steely and Howard. To that I would add: Do NOT leave your home. In the eyes of the law (and you will probably get there sooner or later) the one who leaves the family home puts themselves at a severe disadvantage vis-a-vis child custody and property distribution. Marital break-ups usually start with the parties swearing that they will do right by each other. But as time passes, bitterness and resentment begin to take root and grow. Do whatever you have to to stay in your home.
That being said, please know that prayers and smoke are offered on your behalf. May your domestic situation be resolved in the best interests of each member of your family.
 
Truthfully, it sounds like you're better off without her.

But, like the other guys said: be a model citizen..keep your side of the street clean. It's amazing what you can accomplish in life when you try like Hell to follow a virtuous path with determination and patience.

You're doing the right thing, too, by reaching out to people. It's easy to feel like you're all alone in situations like this. But once you start talking to others it suddenly dawns on you that EVERYONE has gone through (or is currently going through) nightmare scenarios. Some with dynamics similar to your situation.

Just focus your energy on your love for your kids. That will get you through anything.
 
DiscusMan, my father left my mom when I was eight or nine. When I realized what was going on I was so upset. I wanted a father and a mother. The divorce hurt so much it interrupted my development into a healthy/stable young man. Only when I joined the Navy did I get my act together. Sorry, this is about you. I just wanted you to try and work things out with your wife and if you do divorce look out for your babies, your boy/your girl.

I am very saddened to hear this kind of news from a man with three children and a partner that's not being a partner. In eight years something happen to lead her astray. May your love for your kids guide you to the right answer to this very serious situation.

Without our family who are we? I will pray for you.
 
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