Dave,
Best to you, your son Ken, Carla, and your entire family circle.
A while back my wife developed an "inoperable" form of cancer. She is a super healthy, very fit person that had an extremely rare form of cancer return after 3 1/2 yrs. Docs told us: "You may die, and it will likely happen very quickly". She had other ideas, we found a surgeon in Boston and after a lengthy ordeal, she is now "cancer free" and she volunteers helping others in similar circumstances. I always hated it when folks reacted with stories of how they or someone they knew got through some medical scenario and "everything is ok now". I came to realize that this was simply a way to try and reach out to someone else with the only tools a person had. Last weekend we returned from Boston with nothing but good news from the various teams of docs that are involved in her follow up. Almost 3 years since the surgery, and I still have to repeat "cancer free" several times a day.
I did learn one thing: not only are people strong, but the kindness and caring of others all around them goes a long way in their recovery. Good thoughts to you and yours are coming from VT.