Worst Breakup with A Girlfriend I Ever Had

M

munk

Joined
Mar 22, 2002
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I didn't want the great advice a forumite was recieving about relationships in another thread to deteriorate into war stories. I liked the idea of a few good war stories, though, and thought I'd offer mine. Of all the bad experiences I ever had, and I've had a few, I dare anyone to top this;

I was in college. Two of the closest friends I had were women; my girlfriend and our mutual friend. Can you see where this is going? ( I've been thrown out into the streets, without money, in the rain, with a sleeping bag and cat, just ahead of the police, but never like this....) Eventually I became the boyfriend of our mutual friend. My former girl friend wandered away and it just seemed right. One day my new girlfriend came to me and said she couldn't do this anymore- goodbye- no real explanation.

I found out eventually, but it took a long time, as few would tell the real truth; but my two girlfriends were now playing house together. This hurt more than I can say- not only because of the obvious- but I'd lost two human beings that I believed were truly my friends. They didn't have the guts to tell me. I was a 'man'.

I started a class and one of them was in it- she dropped out rather than face me.
This taught me a lot. And like Dan Akroid in the Saturday Night Live comedy sketch; "Jane- you ignorant slut" I grew fond of pontificating at length about vicious lesbian ****s. Please pardon my language- but I this is what I did.

Years later one of them came back to me- reformed. It didn't work out.

I could talk about a model I once dated, a sexpot, a biker chick- but none really compare with this.

For me anyway, there's another secret here too; if you want to get over something, you can't accomplish it drunk. Past a certain time, all being drunk does is keep it alive.


mayhem munk
 
Stay tuned for the next exciting installment of "Munk: The Hippy Years" :p :D

Munk--I can't even come close to topping that. Great story. Thanks for sharing:D
--Josh
 
...there are some stories of hippy life...
but, back to the dipsy duo- a couple years went by and they decided it was 'safe' to talk to me again. I was sitting on the lawn with one of them, laughing and having a pretty good time, when the Mexican National who lived next door with his large family came over with a bottle of brandy. He insisted she and I drink. We drank and I waved him off and thanked him, and he left the bottle! Why? Because he wanted the Lesbian girl to get 'saved' and stop corrupting the neighborhood! That was funny. I appreciated the brandy, and would have been willing to oblige the woman, but she was safely entrenched in the Women's Movement then.

Any one remember, "Our Bodies, Ourselves" ?

It was funny how I came to discover the two of them. I'd recieved no word. I took some Mescalito and was wandering through the woods when it hit me. I fell to the ground sobbing. After that I knew. It was like a light went on. Duh.

This all could have taken place where else- but Santa Cruz, California.

.................

actually I thought SilverFoxKnows came pretty close to mine with his story.



munk
 
Munk, that sounds so much like what happened to me last February it's scarry! :eek:
 
Let's see.

How about a girlfriend in a supposedly monogamous relationship who slept with her sister's boyfriend just to spite her.

Then she confesses this to me because she is so guilt-ridden. Meanwhile I feel like she's just shoved a Gelbu Special in just under my sternum and is cleaning my lungs and heart out of my rib cage with it.

I forgave her.

I go off to a flight school and find out she messed around with my best friend. She had to confess this too you know, to asuage her guilt.

I told her to get the "F" out and she said to me that she has changed and that it wasn't fair me to hold her past against her.

Can you believe I actually bought that line????

Third time was a charm.

It's funny you know - you'd think by the third time someone cheats on you that it wouldn't hurt as bad as the first time. It does you know.

Don
 
I I enjoy Munk's stories even if they make me cringe, cause I know what's coming - because he is the everyman or Charlie Brown type. You can just see him cruising for a bruising because you did that yourself ( and usually worked darn hard at forgetting it .)

Off topic, but on target.
 
"I've been thrown out into the streets, in the rain, with a ...cat"

cat.gif


...so what's wrong with that? Thats where I've met all my girlfriends.
 
ive had several freinds who had their first times end up being social rapes and it always hurts to learn that more have had it happen to them in my group... i've just barely escaped it, and am intensley glad that im so antisocial in that way...

*by socially raped, i mean when a woman/girl who you wouldnt want to spend more then an hour with pushes you for sex, and your to scare, weak, or inept to say no, and you regret it from start to finish, and every second afterward*
 
Seth, I'm old fashioned, but avoided those women I did not wish to sleep with. At any rate, I did not see anything as being too great a sacrafise.
What kind of social pressure is going on nowadays?



munk
 
I think that one from Seth lost me.

Of course that is par for the course.
 
I think to refuse these women must mean insulting them, and perhaps opening yourself up to social ridicule; faggot, whimp, whatever....near as I can guess from what Seth said.

What is this- a nest of vipers?

I grew up with Zorba the Greek's philosophy- to refuse a woman was a sin.
Though I did refuse, and hell hath no fury...


munk
 
Munk,
Only slightly related and not quite as funny- Years ago, I had been through a long period of celibacy (1-3 years, can't remember which time). So I could concentrate on spiritual training and MA training.. Not to mention a broken heart had left my quite gunshy... but I remember this girl I became friends with. She was intelligent, sweet, blonde, add to list as desired... I decided that this had to be the girl that I had been waiting for. We went for a ride one night afterwork when I found out.. that she might have been a good girl for me if she liked guys... argh.. :eek:

When I think back to times like that, I'm glad I'm married. :rolleyes: :D
 
There is a myth than men can't feel and women can't be assertive. In overreaction, you find grotesque examples of the worst qualities of the sexes being emulated by gays, and you also find wonderful people who believed they had to be gay in order to be who they were. I suppose this opens a can of worms- I don't mean to be insulting to gays.

There is also a myth that gays are creative. The real point is that there should be room in our identities within our sexuality to be what we are. I'd hope the society was not seen as oppresive and cohersive and people could find the room they needed without what I consider to be a overreaction. People felt they could not express themselves through the narrow (what they saw) definitions of male female. I thought most of this marlarky.

This is just my opinion. People can be happily gay without my opinion or good or ill approval.

I suppose another way of saying all this is that some women who love women are damn appealing because they act natural, friendly, confident and are often fun to be around.


munk

munk
 
I have not too much to add to this, except an interesting Lesbian anectode of my own. Some lesbian friends of minne were thinking abouut having a kid, getting pregnant, and they were eyeing their male friends for a while, trying to see who had the good breeding or something (I have to laugh, one of them shows dogs!) so they could axe the 'lucky' male to be a donor. So their plan is to get the guy, have him 'fill up' this turkey baster, then they'd use it as some home-insemination kit (does this really work?!?!?). Luckily, none of this came to fruition, as they were distracted by this other woman who one of them had dated previously. So they get this three way thing going, then after a while one pairs off with the interloper, and they move out. So then the interloper undergoes hormone threapy, other sex change, stuff, etc.

After all this, they were all paraniod freaks, and really they kinda all dropped off the planet. their lives were quite dramatic, compared to mine.


The Havamal says this about women and relationships:

84.
No man should trust a maiden's words,
Nor what a woman speaks:
Spun on a wheel were women's hearts,
In their breasts was implanted caprice.

90.
To love a woman whose ways are false
Is like sledding over slippery ice
With unshod horses out of control,
Badly trained two-year-olds,
Or drifting rudderless on a rough sea,
Or catching a reindeer with a crippled hand
On a thawing hillside: think not to do it.

91.
Naked I may speak now for I know both:
Men are treacherous too
Fairest we speak when falsest we think:
many a maid is deceived.

92.
Gallantly shall he speak and gifts bring
Who wishes for woman's love:
praise the features of the fair girl,
Who courts well will conquer.

93.
Never reproach another for his love:
It happens often enough
That beauty ensnares with desire the wise
While the foolish remain unmoved.

94.
Never reproach the plight of another,
For it happens to many men:
Strong desire may stupefy heroes,
Dull the wits of the wise

95.
The mind alone knows what is near the heart,
Each is his own judge:
The worst sickness for a wise man
Is to crave what he cannot enjoy.

97.
So I learned when I sat in the reeds,
Hoping to have my desire:
Lovely was the flesh of that fair girl,
But nothing I hoped for happened.

98.
I saw on a bed Billing's daughter,
Sun white, asleep:
No greater delight I longed for then
Than to lie in her lovely arms.

99.
"Come" Odhinn, after nightfall
If you wish for a meeting with me:
All would be lost if anyone saw us
And learned that we were lovers."

100.
Afire with longing" I left her then,
Deceived by her soft words:
I thought my wooing had won the maid,
That I would have my way.

101.
After nightfall I hurried back,
But the warriors were all awake,
Lights were burning, blazing torches:
So false proved the path

102.
Towards daybreak back I came
The guards were sound asleep:
I found then that the fair woman
Had tied a bitch to her bed.
--
Many a girl when one gets to know her
Proves to be fickle and false:
That treacherous maiden taught me a lesson,
The crafty woman covered me with shame"
That was all I got from her.

113.
Shun a woman, wise in magic,
Her bed and her embraces:
If she cast a spell, you will care no longer

115.
Never seduce anothers wife,
Never make her your mistress.

118.
I saw a warrior wounded fatally
By the words of an evil woman
Her cunning tongue caused his death,
Though what she alleged was a lie.

121.
Cherish those near you, never be
The first to break with a friend:
Care eats him who can no longer
Open his heart to another.

127.
If aware that another is wicked, say so:
Make no truce or treaty with foes.

130.

With a good woman, if you wish to enjoy
Her words and her good will,
Pledge her fairly and be faithful to it:
Enjoy the good you are given.


Keith
 
SethMurdoc said:
...when a woman/girl...pushes you for sex, and your to scare, weak, or inept to say no...
Click to expand...

Whenever that happens Seth, be strong, stand your ground, say NO, and send those women over to my place.
 
munk said:
I grew up with Zorba the Greek's philosophy- to refuse a woman was a sin.
Click to expand...
But to get drunk and dance wildly with men was socially acceptable.
And still is, not only in Greece, but in certain sections of San Francisco.
 
yes yes yes. i can say that all now - hell, if a 70 year old woman was nice to me, and wanted a little action, to be honest - id probably be open to it. of course, ive never met a 70 year old woman who was apt enough of mind to draw me into any kind of deep conversation, but thats not the point.

these all hapened between the age of 14-17 years old, to nice kids. when your in highschool, things like being forced into sex (even though your a guy, and your supposed to want sex from anyone) can be a very deep betrayel. example - if your with someone, and someone else seduces you, and the entire time, every molecule of your body is burning to get away form her, but you cant think of a way to get out of it, and cant bring yourself to say something, or what you say has no effect, it hurts.

for me, it was a girl named jenny. by all acounts, a bueatiful girl, near model features. she's now pregnant, by a guy who never graduated high school who cant really support the child, living with her parents. i was 16, and she was pushing, reeeal hard the entire night. im a loner by nature, i am most in balance when im away from people. i dont take easily to people in an intimate setting, so far only 1 person ive ever met shared a personal link to myself, that i wish i would have explored further. everything in me was just screaming to get away the entire time. for a first time - it would have been so pointless and lacking in meaning or worth for me to do anything with her that it would have been a point of depression for years to come. letting someone like that inside my guard would have done things to me that would have taken a lot of distance to begin to heal, and im glad i avoided it.

2 of my freinds were forced into it with people they simply did not want that sort of contact from. like when your boss puts his hand on your neck and rubs your muscles like he's your pal, and you just want to shove a pen into his neck you hate that touch so much. but a lot deeper of a violation...

i could distance myself from pretty much anything now given a little effort. i see pain coming, i can let it fill me, and flow out of me, and be the same for it. its not like that when your growing up. i tend to compare it to dreams - in dreams if a something is scary, you feel it in youre very soul. a nightmare will leave you shaking worse then anything in the waking world could. being a kid has that sort of effect on you, things that wouldnt do anything in later years change who you are when your 14....


dont get me wrong, there were plenty of women i would have melted into had they dont anything to me, but the ones that did were people who made me cringe at the slightest physical contact with them...
 
Seth, I don't know what to say. It sounds like there is or was a lot going on with you.

I hope you're less of a loner today- at least enough to have some good friends to talk to. I was a loner, still am, I guess. I'm glad there is HI forum. Hopefully you have other avenues as well.


munk
 
Benaround- about these Greeks-

When these men were dancing wildly with each other- was this just good clean beserk fun? Or did other 'activities' develope? I'm curious- I know nothing of Greek Culture. I don't mean to smear Greeks. Happy Greeks.



munk
 
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