100,000 Likes Giveaway - Winners Drawn!

Jack Black

Jack Black

Seize the Lambsfoot! Seize the Day!
Platinum Member
Joined
Dec 2, 2005
Messages
69,770
Hi folks,

I was stunned to see this the other day! Thank you so much for your generosity (and it's nice to see so many of my fellow Guardians represented there) :)

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I figured most of us could do with a bit of cheering up at the moment, and wanted to say thank you with a giveaway. It's open to every one who posts here, even if you only have one prior post on The Porch. The prize will be a nice Sheffield-made knife, which you can choose from a selection I'll post when the giveaway is over. Depending on the situation here, and internationally, and my personal situation, I don't know when I'll be able to mail the prize, but I'll do so ASAP, and you will get it, and I'll throw in a few other things too ;)

Here's the entry requirements, tell us all a joke, all entries get a place, if you make me laugh out loud, I'll add your name twice :) If you want to add anything else to cheer us all up, a nice photo, or a story perhaps, you may get another shot too :thumbsup: Please say that you're in, so that I know. If you want, you can pass on the knife to another forum member, if they're a regular here, in which case please add that to your post :thumbsup:

You can make as many posts as you like, and have as many goes at making me laugh as you like (though there's only one bonus entry for that).

I'll keep the giveaway open until my birthday on March 30th :thumbsup:

Good luck to everyone, thanks for all the likes, and I hope that you and your family stay safe and well during these difficult times :thumbsup:

Jack

Edit 24-3-20

Just adding a teaser pic (more info here)

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Edit 27-3-20

Well folks, I think you have done a sterling job of keeping this thread going, and entertaining everyone with all the great jokes. Particular thanks to those of you who've made multiple contributions :) To say thanks, perhaps in a moment of madness, I'd like to change things :rolleyes: So, there'll now be three winners rather than one, and you all get to pick a knife each :) Again, I can't say when the knives will go in the mail, it might not be for a while with the way things are, but you'll get your prize eventually. Good luck again everyone. Blimey, just noticed the date, not long now :thumbsup:
 
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JD Bear said:
I'm in for sure

A guy walks into a bar and says.....ouch!

I borrowed that one from my dad. He gets so dang giddy whenever he tells that joke. I think that makes me laugh more than one of the best dad jokes of all time....
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I know just what you mean! :D I love jokes like that :thumbsup:
 
There you go Jack buying more likes :rolleyes: Geez , have you no humility o_O

:D Absolutely kidding, of course. I'll catch up with you in another 20 years and 94,000 likes. Meanwhile, thanks for all the things you do for us here on BF and thanks for yet another opportunity to get mail. :thumbsup:

I'm in - maybe not with this post but I'll do a proper entry over the weekend. This will be an extra fun GAW.
 
I'll go for the shortest joke I know.

Dyslexics Untie!

I'm in. Thanks

How abaut a bonus joke: A good friend had a sign posted in his cubicle:

Engineering done.
Good
Cheap
Fast
Choose any two.

It's funny until you think about it and realize that it isn't a joke ...
 
I am in :) for Mike @Crazy Canuck

Took this little video about 12 years ago with my daughter :)

While not a joke I thought that a bit of sunshine .... when skies are grey it's just what we need in this times ....and my daughter and I do think it's very funny :D

 
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I'm in, too.
OK, what's black and white and red all over? (a newspaper, remember those?)

OK, one more... this guy is sitting at a bar and starts talking into his hand. The bartender tells him to get out, "we don't need any nut cases in here". The guy responds that he has a cell phone built into his hand and he just received a call. The bartender gets angry and starts to throw him out. "I'll prove it to you", the guy says. "I'll go into the men's room and call you on the bar phone". The bartender tells him that if he can do that, he will have drinks on the house all night. So he goes into the bathroom and all of a sudden the bar phone rings. "Hi, it's me!" But after 15 minutes he doesn't come out, so the bartender goes in to check on him. He finds the guy leaning up against one of the stalls with his pants down and a piece of toilet paper hanging out of his rear. The bartender asks if he is all right, and the guy responds, "leave me alone for a minute, I'll be right out, I'm getting a fax"!
 
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The other day my Son yelled, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to a single word I've said!"
What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

Jack, we now have actual proof that you are the most likable guy on the forum. :cool::thumbsup:
Of course, "I'm In"... I would never miss a chance at having another fine Sheffield-made knife.
Great idea for a thread too, we could all use a few more laughs. Because of the quarantine, I'll include an "inside joke"...
 
A newly convicted criminal, depressed and nervous arrives at his cell. After a couple of hours, sitting on his cot and hears someone call out the number 67. Uproarious laughter breaks out for several minutes. Several minutes later the number 23 is called out, followed again by much laughter.

He asks his cell mate what is going on. He's told that there is only one joke book in the cell block and it's been around so long that everyone has memorized the jokes by the page number, so tell a joke they just call out a number.

He's encouraged to tell a joke and calls out 49. This followed by dead silence. He is devastated and turns to his cell mate and asks why. Cell mate says, you know some people can tell a joke and some can't.

Thank for the giveaway, Jack, you are most generous. I'd like to give the prize, if won, to someone who doesn't have a Sheffield-made knife.

Rosie and the family are all well and doing fine...
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CelloDan said:
I am in :)

Took this little video about 12 years ago with my daughter :)

While not a joke I thought that a bit of sunshine .... when skies are grey it's just what we need in this times ....and my daughter and I do think it's very funny :D

Click to expand...

I'm sure that'll put a big smile on everyone's face Dan, fantastic :) :thumbsup: When my youngest daughter was around the same age, she said she wanted to 'do me a concert', I a was amazed at how professional it was, and how long it lasted! :D That was the first song :)

johnnywizzo said:
I'm in, too.
OK, what's black and white and red all over? (a newspaper, remember those?)
Click to expand...

I remember the joke Johnny! I AM that old! :D :thumbsup:
 
JohnDF said:
The other day my Son yelled, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to a single word I've said!"
What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

Jack, we now have actual proof that you are the most likable guy on the forum. :cool::thumbsup:
Of course, "I'm In"... I would never miss a chance at having another fine Sheffield-made knife.
Great idea for a thread too, we could all use a few more laughs. Because of the quarantine, I'll include an "inside joke"...
Click to expand...

LOL! :D You are all very kind to me John :) I always enjoy seeing 'Real Lamb Foot Content' ;) :thumbsup:

pjsjr said:
A newly convicted criminal, depressed and nervous arrives at his cell. After a couple of hours, sitting on his cot and hears someone call out the number 67. Uproarious laughter breaks out for several minutes. Several minutes later the number 23 is called out, followed again by much laughter.

He asks his cell mate what is going on. He's told that there is only one joke book in the cell block and it's been around so long that everyone has memorized the jokes by the page number, so tell a joke they just call out a number.

He's encouraged to tell a joke and calls out 49. This followed by dead silence. He is devastated and turns to his cell mate and asks why. Cell mate says, you know some people can tell a joke and some can't.

Thank for the giveaway, Jack, you are most generous. I'd like to give the prize, if won, to someone who doesn't have a Sheffield-made knife.

Rosie and the family are all well and doing fine...
DSC_0422.JPG

DSC_0353.JPG
Click to expand...

Very good Preston! :D It's great to see Rosie and the rest of your Lambsfoot family too :) :thumbsup:
 
I'm in, thanks for the generous opportunity. Here's mine ...

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

Unfortunately, even though I grew up in a very remote area and spend much of my free time in the outdoors this is true about me.

One year in fact, I was hunting and was fortunate enough to harvest a deer. I dressed the deer and began the arduous process of dragging it to my camp. I crossed the path of someone else dragging a deer and thought they too had a successful hunt. A bit later I came to an area where two people had been dragging a deer. After much consideration I realized it was all me, dragging my harvest in circles in the woods. Thank goodness GPS technology has advanced!
 
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