3000 Post giveaway

I'll make this the short version of the story because I still have performance issues when I think about it..

Summer after senior year U came outta my shell. For some reason girls loved to hang with me. Not for sexual reasons to my misfortune, but because I was fun I guess.... And ppl often took me as gay, which I'm not. But anyways I figured who cares why hanging out with hot chicks is what it is!!!! Well one weekend about 6 girls and 2 guys (myself being one of them) decided to do a weekend in the state lands. Night was going good, good eats, stories,blablabla... Well time passed and I musta drank a gallon of water within a few hours and I REALLY had to pee!!! For some dumb ass reason we didn't have a working flashlight, so I tried to improvise a torch. It burnt good until I got to the peeing place. So I do my deed ans figure wtf I'll just trounce back since I seen no reason not to on the way there. Well turns out there was a boggy, muddy, cold slop pit between myself and our camp. And wouldn't you know it, I fall right in!! Never been in quick sand but I'd bet it was much like this sewage slop!! After fighting and yelling like a winnie for a few minutes I calmed down and worked my way out with a fallen branch. Flipflops GONE, board shorts GONE.... Now back in the day I went commando and choose to pick neither boxes or briefs. So after I get out I'm covered in this cold nasty sludge with nothing but a freaking Hawaiian shirt on. I could see the camp fire so I made my way back, feet hurting the whole way, and this slop turning into a crust on me. I walk outta the woods and into the clearing near our camp and jaws just drop!!!! I guess it was like a train wreck, no one could look away. Ego already shot my buddy goes "wow she wasn't fibbin when she said you were tiny" This is referring to an ex whom I caught cheating on me and we got in a bit of a insult war (and had never seen me even shirtless)... So of course all the girls burst into tears trying not to laugh. I'm feeling my face turn the color of a damn fire truck due to the fact that I'm damn near naked infront of several hot chicks!!! We camped near a small pond and I really needed to get the crap slop stuff off me so I was like F this I'm taking a swim!!! The second my ass hit the water I KNEW I made a mistake!!!!! That water must have been mountain run off because it was COLD!!!!! I jump out like a jumping bean and before I could cover up, one of the girls says "wow I didn't think it could get any smaller!!" Pride-gone, ego-dogpoo, "friends"-cheerful, self-half laughing/half tears.... My future wife was there and ran over with a blanket!! thank god!!! I have NEVER EVER been more embarrassed!! At that time I was still a virgin and thought I would be FOREVER!!!! Still to this day if I think of that night during ....... fun time little guy gets smaller!!!!

To make this story even worse, this was brought up at a kegger one night with the other guy who was there. I was like I'll bet I'm bigger than you!!!! Whip it out!! so of course he does but I bitch out not being NEARLY drunk enough. Consensus is it's a stale mate. But for some reason the dude was at attention!!! and he'd been talking to me for the past 10 minutes!!

*for the record I'm not really small, not large either!!! If my story isn't embarrassing enough admitting I'm AVERAGE size should be!! I'm red in the face as I type this... How do internet ppl manage to get everyone to talk????

I gotta go slump in a corner... I'm so ashamed!!!!

Oh yeah RP #454
 
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Most embarrassing would have to be walking to the bathroom at Zion National Park on my honeymoon with a condom stuck to my sandal...

No RP# yet, still working on it; couldn't resist ;)

Edit - Got my RP #485!
 
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amcardon said:
Most embarrassing would have to be walking to the bathroom at Zion National Park on my honeymoon with a condom stuck to my sandal...

No RP# yet, still working on it; couldn't resist ;)
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I assume that you are a proud parent now, or someone took the time to explain how a condom is used..... :D
 
RP# 156

Ok this is not nearly as good as some of the others I've read.
We (about 10 people, only two of which are girls) are out camping and drinking huge amounts of cold brew. The campsite has a single vault toilet and it reeks! After drinking most of the night I retired to my tent at about 2AM. At about 4 I arose to a call of nature... thats not accurate, nature was SCREAMING! My tent was the farthest from the vault. I wasnt sure I could stumble that far especially without my light waking everyone in camp. So I strolled into the woods to find a big tree. With the tree between me and camp I proceeded to relieve myself. There was suddenly a quick flash of light followed by giggles! There was a service road barely 50 yds through the woods and one of the girls had gone for a stroll, when she decided to take a shortcut back to camp. She had popped around a tree barely 10 feet away. There we stood face to face, she giggled again then bounced off to her tent. I finished my business and returned to my tent. Nothing was ever said, but she did keep grinning at me the entire day. I have no idea how she got that close with me hearing anything. I guess I was so drunk I didnt notice or maybe she had seen me coming and decided to hide to try to scare me and couldnt hold back the giggles long enough.
 
ZombiesEatFree said:
I'll make this the short version of the story because I still have performance issues when I think about it..

Summer after senior year U came outta my shell. For some reason girls loved to hang with me. Not for sexual reasons to my misfortune, but because I was fun I guess.... And ppl often took me as gay, which I'm not. But anyways I figured who cares why hanging out with hot chicks is what it is!!!! Well one weekend about 6 girls and 2 guys (myself being one of them) decided to do a weekend in the state lands. Night was going good, good eats, stories,blablabla... Well time passed and I musta drank a gallon of water within a few hours and I REALLY had to pee!!! For some dumb ass reason we didn't have a working flashlight, so I tried to improvise a torch. It burnt good until I got to the peeing place. So I do my deed ans figure wtf I'll just trounce back since I seen no reason not to on the way there. Well turns out there was a boggy, muddy, cold slop pit between myself and our camp. And wouldn't you know it, I fall right in!! Never been in quick sand but I'd bet it was much like this sewage slop!! After fighting and yelling like a winnie for a few minutes I calmed down and worked my way out with a fallen branch. Flipflops GONE, board shorts GONE.... Now back in the day I went commando and choose to pick neither boxes or briefs. So after I get out I'm covered in this cold nasty sludge with nothing but a freaking Hawaiian shirt on. I could see the camp fire so I made my way back, feet hurting the whole way, and this slop turning into a crust on me. I walk outta the woods and into the clearing near our camp and jaws just drop!!!! I guess it was like a train wreck, no one could look away. Ego already shot my buddy goes "wow she wasn't fibbin when she said you were tiny" This is referring to an ex whom I caught cheating on me and we got in a bit of a insult war (and had never seen me even shirtless)... So of course all the girls burst into tears trying not to laugh. I'm feeling my face turn the color of a damn fire truck due to the fact that I'm damn near naked infront of several hot chicks!!! We camped near a small pond and I really needed to get the crap slop stuff off me so I was like F this I'm taking a swim!!! The second my ass hit the water I KNEW I made a mistake!!!!! That water must have been mountain run off because it was COLD!!!!! I jump out like a jumping bean and before I could cover up, one of the girls says "wow I didn't think it could get any smaller!!" Pride-gone, ego-dogpoo, "friends"-cheerful, self-half laughing/half tears.... My future wife was there and ran over with a blanket!! thank god!!! I have NEVER EVER been more embarrassed!! At that time I was still a virgin and thought I would be FOREVER!!!! Still to this day if I think of that night during ....... fun time little guy gets smaller!!!!

To make this story even worse, this was brought up at a kegger one night with the other guy who was there. I was like I'll bet I'm bigger than you!!!! Whip it out!! so of course he does but I bitch out not being NEARLY drunk enough. Consensus is it's a stale mate. But for some reason the dude was at attention!!! and he'd been talking to me for the past 10 minutes!!

*for the record I'm not really small, not large either!!! If my story isn't embarrassing enough admitting I'm AVERAGE size should be!! I'm red in the face as I type this... How do internet ppl manage to get everyone to talk????

I gotta go slump in a corner... I'm so ashamed!!!!
Click to expand...

THAT is funny.
 
# 666 and I slept with a coyote. I'm still married to her after 45 years. What do I win? Besides fleas. What?
 
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Disclaimer: This isn't embarrassing on my part, but on a good buddy of mines, about the only embarrassing story of mine is putting a fish hook through my thumb.

One of my buddies planned a camping trip for about a week, he invited about half a dozen of us to go meet at his house on Friday, the game plan was to go up to his family's farm and hike a little ways until we found a nice place to camp. Well I show up, his twin brother's there, and two other guys are there, one of which was in his civil war reenactment clothes because he just got done doing some show or something. They had about $30 worth of tobacco, $30-$40 worth of fire crackers, small rocket engines, and other things tat go boom when lit, and they had fixed some chili and hotdogs. I showed up with nothing but my BOB/camping bag. I looked around and asked where the twin brother, Eric, was who plan the trip and where everybody else was. I was told Eric was in a town an hour and a half away, his girl friend made him take her shopping and out to see a movie, and the others weren't showing for various reasons. So we decided instead of walking out into the field to find a good camping spot to just say screw it and do it on his front yard, since he wasn't there to complain. About an hour or two after sitting around a fire shutting the bull we got tired of constantly adding wood to the fire, so we just said screw it and went into the house. After an hour or so of goofing off and pulling pranks on each other, probably the most memorable one was the younger twin left his laptop on the coffee table with his facebook signed in, so he ended up joining a Gay Pride group, whose group picture was of two dudes in banana hammocks hugging. Around 1 Eric finally showed up, after much ribbing teasing we finally called it a night. The younger twin and I ended up waking up before Eric, and decide to use those fire crackers for a little wake up call. Once everyone was up we headed into town for some Mikey D's, :D now that's a story for a later day.

RP # 92,

Thanks for the chance Mrs. Shotty :thumbup:

(that same chick he ditched us for he just recently proposed to, so maybe it was worth it on his part....... nah)
 
Good lord, I haven't read the other entries, but if Zombie's somehow doesn't win this can you make up an extra prize just for him? Geeze.


My most embarrasing camping story is that I havn't been camping enough to have one yet. Does that count? :P
 
Joben said:
Good lord, I haven't read the other entries, but if Zombie's somehow doesn't win this can you make up an extra prize just for him? Geeze
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Check out Dylside's story - post #14 on this thread.

These two gents will be tough to beat.
 
Joben said:
Good lord, I haven't read the other entries, but if Zombie's somehow doesn't win this can you make up an extra prize just for him? Geeze.


My most embarrasing camping story is that I havn't been camping enough to have one yet. Does that count? :P
Click to expand...

I swear I have flashbacks.... We have a mirror within view of our shower, and if I take a cold shower..... It all fly's right back to me!!
 
When I was a kid –about five years old – my Dad took us on our first "real" camping trip. Complete with a canvas wall tent, etc. My friend and I were running through camp and a bucket just happened to be in my path. Well, my right foot stepped in the bucket and I kept running for about twenty feet 'til I fell on my face. Everyone got a good laugh, including me.:)

Rat Pack #142
 
RP # 468

As the child of a single mother I had no affinity for hunting or the regulations involved therein. However, camping at the age of 12 with a couple families, my buddies dad had it locked down. We returned to camp with the corpses of no less than 10 frogs we'd taken down with pellet guns. His dad made us eat them all (I had never had frog before and was horrified). In the end, they weren't bad and I learned the first law of hunting. Embarrassing because I was ignorant of the basic "You kill it, you eat it" philosophy and very "urban". Not so much anymore. Happy New Year.
 
RP# 284 here.

Well some of these stories are pretty damn embarrassing, but as for the most embarrassing camping experience, has to be that I've never camped :( 19 year old knife loving guy, never been camping once. What the hell???
 
Rat Pack #327

I went camping w/ my girlfriend in a remote area w/ known bears in the area. Our campsite had a stream running through it where we were fishing at the time, its about 30 yards away from our actual campsite. Well we are fishing away and you really can't hear your surroundings very well because of the stream flow. So by chance I glance over to my right, oh sheet a momma bear and 2 cubs, I ran like hell.......and left my girlfriend standing there without saying a word and not knowing what was going on.

Now my intent was to go back to camp and get some pots and pans to make noise to scare the bears off. Well thats not how she tells the story.
 
Just fyi....

Me telling my story is making it VERY tough for me to post a picture in the "owners picture" thread!!

Been going thru the picture thread to match a face with the stories, pretty fun!
 
rp#490

Well, the last time I went camping, I woke up the next morning and had to take a leak REAL bad, anyways, I didn't want to pee where we set up camp and decided to walk to a secluded area. Anywho, I decided it would be smart to cut through this field of shrub instead of walking the entire path around this hill, where I saw an ever so pleasant spot to deposit my waste. I stepped into this field of brush and to my surprise it was filled with those damn prickly needle like pods and I ended up absolutely butchering my legs with them, since I was of course wearing shorts.

The moral of the story is to not take shortcuts in life. Do things the right way and take the right steps, and you will take that glorious piss!
 
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