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eneyman said:
rp#490

Well, the last time I went camping, I woke up the next morning and had to take a leak REAL bad, anyways, I didn't want to pee where we set up camp and decided to walk to a secluded area. Anywho, I decided it would be smart to cut through this field of shrub instead of walking the entire path around this hill, where I saw an ever so pleasant spot to deposit my waste. I stepped into this field of brush and to my surprise it was filled with those damn prickly needle like pods and I ended up absolutely butchering my legs with them, since I was of course wearing shorts.

The moral of the story is to not take shortcuts in life. Do things the right way and take the right steps, and you will take that glorious piss!
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This reminded me about something I really wish I coulda left forgotten!!!

Few years back a few friends an I went into the State Lands to do some hiking, camping and what not. I can't recall how many of us went it was either 5 or 6.. Anyways, all the other members of our group brought liquor instead of water. I didn't realize at the time just how much they liked their liquor! I brought water myself, didn't really drink at the time. They planned on drinking boiled stream water I guess. Well on the second day of the trek they didn't want to boil water thought it'd be fun to drink Vodka and Tequila instead. Ever try to keep a group of drunks from hiking??? We didn't get far that day, as I insisted that we just chill and do some fishing at a pond that we hit. As I fished they... fished:confused::confused: if it could be called that. I'm pretty sure they drank pond water along with their Liquor! Great combo for the gut!! By nightfall they we piss ass drunk!!! I got a small fire going to warm up with and cook the 1 pan fish I caught. Kinda hard to fish when ppl are throwing rocks in the water and swimming in pond scum...... I couldn't take being around them any longer so I was just F it I'm going to bed down!! I went off to where I could just barely hear them, I wanted to make ssure I could hear if someone did something even dumber than drinking alcohol with little to no water....... I finally fell asleep in my bed roll after about an hour of being pissed! Only to be awoken by a "funny noise". Didn't think much of it at the time, and I was dead tired from dealing with them all day so I just went back to sleep. I woke up just before dawn freezing!! So I got up grabbed my light and planned on starting a fire near the drunks. But instead I find my buddy passed out about a meter from me with his pants undone and piss all over pants. I figured that's what woke me up, but when I went to pack my roll back up I found that it had piss on it as well!!! Which is what woke me I think! Yeah the F'er pissed on me!!! Out of all the spots he wandered off to, why there??? I was so furious I started a nice big fire via a molotov cocktail with a bottle of Patron, and fueled by the remainder of the "spirits". I also burned my sleeping bag. Really wanted to do something more, but I'm a nice guy so all I did was burn the alcohol boiled a pot of water put the fire out and started back. I think it was the only time I left a camping trip early. Funny thing is I'm one of the only ones who knew much of anything about bushcraft (which wasn't much). When they got back home a day later they said it was awful trying to hike back hungover.

Not sure if this is more embarrassing or angering!! Being pissed on is both!!

What did I learn?? NEVER EVER hike without knowing everyone's full intentions!! I think they neglected to tell me about their plan because they knew I wouldn't go along with it!!!! I should have just left when I found out!!

Ahhh the good ole days of camping!!! memories......
 
Wow Your story made reminded me of the RAT fest when the puppy pissed on the mr's pillow and sleeping bag. He was NOT happy. He threw my dog out of the tent and vowed he would NEVER camp with us again. lol i had to share my sleeping bag w/ him that night.
 
This is my second story and second post in this thread just so I disclose fully. However, I thought of another funny camping story that happened just this year and it came to mind only today again. I'll share it.

We were camping with our 16 month old Boxer for the first time in the Sierras. We had hiked all day and my girlfriend took pictures CONSTANTLY. I started making fun of her for it just because it became comical that every time he ran after something or turned to face us, she'd snap a picture. Fast forward a bit to just before sunset. I had already started the fire and had a couple of beers. Having already broken the seal and consumed much water throughout the day, I had to pee, I walked to the edge of the campsite and started to pee from the top of an incline with a path just below it. Now, we had not seen anyone all day long. NOT A SOUL. So, just as I start to pee, I shout to my girlfriend "HEY!!! WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS"; what happens next takes place in a matter of milliseconds. My dog, in the corner of my vision starts moving FAST toward the trail, at the same time a woman emerges from a thicket and SCREAMS "GET THAT DOG AWAY FROM ME!!!" For a split second I was so shocked I just stood there with my junk hanging out and pee streaming from me trying to asses the situation. Realization struck like a hammer and I hollered at the dog to "HEEL!" and at the same instant I whipped it back in without stemming the flow first and pissed myself thoughtfully. Only to get an angry look from the gal who was apparently out for an evening run through the area. I still get comments from my girlfriend from time to time "TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS".

RP# 468
 
Mrs.Shotgunner11 said:
Wow Your story made reminded me of the RAT fest when the puppy pissed on the mr's pillow and sleeping bag. He was NOT happy. He threw my dog out of the tent and vowed he would NEVER camp with us again. lol i had to share my sleeping bag w/ him that night.
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That's funny!! I've had puppies piss on my bed at home, but never on my only pillow in the wild!! But I mean was it a punishment to share the sleeping bag:D??
 
ZombiesEatFree said:
That's funny!! I've had puppies piss on my bed at home, but never on my only pillow in the wild!! But I mean was it a punishment to share the sleeping bag:D??
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Sort of. We layed it out on the bottom of the tent and I had nothing to cover up with and he was too pissed off to think about cuddling.
 
Fairy tales start of with "once upon a time" but Army stories start off with "This is no shit - there I was..." We all know that there aren't any worthy Air Force or Navy stories (easy there Squids and Zoomies), and the Devil Dogs get their own category, and justifiably so...

This is no shit - there I was...

End of a month-long Brigade ex about 15 years ago and we're bivouac'c in the edge of a treeling sorting out vehicles for the road-move home the next day. Everyone is pretty well thrashed out after a couple weeks with almost no sleep and we really want to get everybody down for at least 8 hrs of rack for safety purposes as we'll be driving for about 10 hrs the next day. We decide that, the weather being nice with no chance of rain, we'll just string a couple of tarps off the side of the CP trailer and hooch it, lots of room for everyone and it plenty warm anyway so that's the route we take.

Being the OIC for the convoy the next day, I have a bunch of admin to do, orders to draw up and a briefing to give, so I'm the last one to get to bed and I get the spot at the end of the hooch. No problem - roll out the sleeping pad, throw down the bag and lay down in my boxers and immediately drop off into a deep sleep. From which I'm abruptly awakened by the feeling of a hand on me. Someone else's hand. On my wedding tackle - WTF???!!!:eek:

I roll/thrash/flail my way off of my bbed and out of the end of the hooch, having yelled loud enough to wake the whole crew - they said "screamed like a schoolgirl" but I highly doubt it.:rolleyes: Turns out I had fallen asleep with my left hand under my head and my whole left arm had fallen asleep and it fell down on my junk I (justifiably, I believe) freaked out and the aforementioned antics ensued!!! :o

I'm just glad that it wasn't a case of my communicator missing his GF so much that he decided to get romantic... :barf:

blake RP #304
 
blake g49 said:
Fairy tales start of with "once upon a time" but Army stories start off with "This is no shit - there I was..." We all know that there aren't any worthy Air Force or Navy stories (easy there Squids and Zoomies), and the Devil Dogs get their own category, and justifiably so...
blake RP #304
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:D
No worries Blake - the reason I didn't go Army like the rest of my high school buddies was because I like staying dry rather than crawling on my belly in a muddy ditch. If a sailor's feet get wet, there's a problem. If a soldier's feet are dry, his Top sgt isn't training him hard enough.
Do you know the short form of the Navy's mission?
paddle across the big river in our steel canoe, shove a bunch of jar heads onto the beach, back up 20 miles and lob rocks over their heads.
I was the guy who made sure the slingshot worked - and kept it fed. :)

oh, yeah - and thanks for your service!
 
blake g49 said:
Fairy tales start of with "once upon a time" but Army stories start off with "This is no shit - there I was..." We all know that there aren't any worthy Air Force or Navy stories (easy there Squids and Zoomies), and the Devil Dogs get their own category, and justifiably so...

This is no shit - there I was...

End of a month-long Brigade ex about 15 years ago and we're bivouac'c in the edge of a treeling sorting out vehicles for the road-move home the next day. Everyone is pretty well thrashed out after a couple weeks with almost no sleep and we really want to get everybody down for at least 8 hrs of rack for safety purposes as we'll be driving for about 10 hrs the next day. We decide that, the weather being nice with no chance of rain, we'll just string a couple of tarps off the side of the CP trailer and hooch it, lots of room for everyone and it plenty warm anyway so that's the route we take.

Being the OIC for the convoy the next day, I have a bunch of admin to do, orders to draw up and a briefing to give, so I'm the last one to get to bed and I get the spot at the end of the hooch. No problem - roll out the sleeping pad, throw down the bag and lay down in my boxers and immediately drop off into a deep sleep. From which I'm abruptly awakened by the feeling of a hand on me. Someone else's hand. On my wedding tackle - WTF???!!!:eek:

I roll/thrash/flail my way off of my bbed and out of the end of the hooch, having yelled loud enough to wake the whole crew - they said "screamed like a schoolgirl" but I highly doubt it.:rolleyes: Turns out I had fallen asleep with my left hand under my head and my whole left arm had fallen asleep and it fell down on my junk I (justifiably, I believe) freaked out and the aforementioned antics ensued!!! :o

I'm just glad that it wasn't a case of my communicator missing his GF so much that he decided to get romantic... :barf:

blake RP #304
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blake. THAT is hilarious!
 
Mrs.Shotgunner11 said:
blake. THAT is hilarious!
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Oh sure - now it's hilarious. At the time?? Not so much...:D

1066vik - I've got family in the Navy, that's why I feel comfortable taking shots at them. But the boat people are good folks. My Dad's oldest brother was a CPO on the USS James O'Hara in War 2 and commanded a landing craft - he still gets busted up talking about putting boys (his words not mine) on the beach just to watch half of them (or more) never make it out of the water. He's developing some dementia and can't remember what he had for breakfast but the South Pacific is still clear as a bell...
 
Rat Pack # 489
Most embarrassing camping stories:
Was campin with a few buddies & after many cocktails decided that a coke was in order, reached over and grabbed a chug off my friends can only to find out it was his spitter......Vomited for 20 minutes.

Most recent embarrassing camp story was this summer. While camping with many people new to me (mostly all attractive women) I came down with a stomach bug. No big deal, I can fight through it!......We were building a small bridge across a creek, I reached down to pick up a log & sure enough thats all it took......Shat myself right there and then in front of god & everyone else...........All saw & all had a good laugh....Damn I was embarrassed, friends still give me sh*t (pun intended) One trip I wouldn't mind forgetting!!!
 
Great stories so far. I do notice that many of them involve excrement/bodily functions . . . as any good story should:D
 
jeffrice6 said:
Rat Pack # 489
Most embarrassing camping stories:
Was campin with a few buddies & after many cocktails decided that a coke was in order, reached over and grabbed a chug off my friends can only to find out it was his spitter......Vomited for 20 minutes.

Most recent embarrassing camp story was this summer. While camping with many people new to me (mostly all attractive women) I came down with a stomach bug. No big deal, I can fight through it!......We were building a small bridge across a creek, I reached down to pick up a log & sure enough thats all it took......Shat myself right there and then in front of god & everyone else...........All saw & all had a good laugh....Damn I was embarrassed, friends still give me sh*t (pun intended) One trip I wouldn't mind forgetting!!!
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been there, done that.. got the picture.

I feel for you, this is not an enjoyable thing
 
I really had a hard time picking a winner. So I'm going to issue 2 prizes.

Blake g49 the idea of you grabbing yourself and blaming on someone else is HILARIOUS to me. So I'll be tossing a RAT logo zippo in the mail for you.

ZombiesEatFree your story is also hilarious. I'm going to send you a RAT dog tag.
 
Mrs.Shotgunner11 said:
Wow Your story made reminded me of the RAT fest when the puppy pissed on the mr's pillow and sleeping bag. He was NOT happy. He threw my dog out of the tent and vowed he would NEVER camp with us again. lol i had to share my sleeping bag w/ him that night.
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Clarification required...
When you said "i had to share my sleeping bag w/ him" who do you mean
Mr.S or the puppy? :D
 
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