"Carl's Lounge" (Off-Topic Discussion, Traditional Knife "Tales & Vignettes")

Very sorry to hear that. Can't imagine how it feels. My Dad is my best friend. Prayers to you and your family.
 
Rsmith_77 said:
Well
I got the call
The call nobody wants

The call that one's father has passed away. I know I vented about his health and him going in and out the hospital. So I assume I should post that he came home from the hospital, but his stay was shorter than anticipated

I am not sure when everything is gonna start rolling, all this is new to me, but I imagine I'll be gone for a bit when it does.

Regards
Ryan
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Condolences and prayers for you and for your family.
 
Sorry to hear that bad news Ryan .Take care of yourself and those around you.
 
Rsmith_77 said:
Well
I got the call
The call nobody wants

The call that one's father has passed away. I know I vented about his health and him going in and out the hospital. So I assume I should post that he came home from the hospital, but his stay was shorter than anticipated

I am not sure when everything is gonna start rolling, all this is new to me, but I imagine I'll be gone for a bit when it does.

Regards
Ryan
Click to expand...
Very sorry to hear that. It's tough to lose any loved ones, but I'm sure a parent would have to be one of the worst.
 
The shock is wearing off.

He had been ill a long time. Copd is a hell of a thing.
But I have discovered that he was in a worse way than he was telling us. We knew it was bad but he didn't want us to know just how bad.

Additionally the paramedics told my step mother that when they found him, his mouth and eyes were closed and he looked peaceful. They told her just how unusual that was. He simply... faded. All the stress of trying to breathe was causing cardio failure and it appears that it just gave out.

And that was a great comfort. Far more of a comfort that I can express.

I am also old enough to be thankful for the time we had. We had a very rocky relationship until I was grown and married. And I think we did an admirable job of patching things up and becoming friends. So thankfully I have no regrets. That is also a great comfort to me.

Still, I have come to the cold realization that he is ... gone
This is my new reality. No more visits for thanksgiving. No more riling him up over politics. No more talking football.


I am alright I think, for the most part. I am old enough to realize that this too is a part of life. Everyone has, or will, experience the same thing. Feel the same emotions I am feeling. But still, there are waves of grief that came and go. I've heard people talk of that, that the waves will continue but eventually they will become less intense and less often.

As Carl said, the world was a little colder today than it was Saturday...and I don't know what to do with that.
 
Rsmith_77 said:
The shock is wearing off.

He had been ill a long time. Copd is a hell of a thing.
But I have discovered that he was in a worse way than he was telling us. We knew it was bad but he didn't want us to know just how bad.

Additionally the paramedics told my step mother that when they found him, his mouth and eyes were closed and he looked peaceful. They told her just how unusual that was. He simply... faded. All the stress of trying to breathe was causing cardio failure and it appears that it just gave out.

And that was a great comfort. Far more of a comfort that I can express.

I am also old enough to be thankful for the time we had. We had a very rocky relationship until I was grown and married. And I think we did an admirable job of patching things up and becoming friends. So thankfully I have no regrets. That is also a great comfort to me.

Still, I have come to the cold realization that he is ... gone
This is my new reality. No more visits for thanksgiving. No more riling him up over politics. No more talking football.


I am alright I think, for the most part. I am old enough to realize that this too is a part of life. Everyone has, or will, experience the same thing. Feel the same emotions I am feeling. But still, there are waves of grief that came and go. I've heard people talk of that, that the waves will continue but eventually they will become less intense and less often.

As Carl said, the world was a little colder today than it was Saturday...and I don't know what to do with that.
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I am sorry that you lost your Dad my friend . I lost my Dad 27 years ago and I still miss him but like your Dad , he was also in a lot of pain so that has made it a little easier to accept . You just have to accept those colder days and move on , but it is not that easy to accept . Remember the good times that you did have with your Dad .

Harry
 
Heh I cant be an emotional wreck constantly.
As I am getting ready to fly back home

It occurs to me. I can't take my knife
I can't take my zippo
I don't think I can even bring smokes

Ain't that about a ....well you get the gist
I am gonna be miserable AND feel nekkid the entire time
Maybe a quick stop at a Walmart to grab a sak and a bic is in order

But it helps to remember when my father first realized he had COPD he gave me both of his zippos
And after tsa took two of his knives he gave all his remaining ones to me
So I have all of that :/
 
Rsmith_77 said:
I am alright I think, for the most part. I am old enough to realize that this too is a part of life. Everyone has, or will, experience the same thing. Feel the same emotions I am feeling. But still, there are waves of grief that came and go. I've heard people talk of that, that the waves will continue but eventually they will become less intense and less often.

As Carl said, the world was a little colder today than it was Saturday...and I don't know what to do with that.
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Time will take care of it.

When my old man passed, it was a huge sudden vacuum in my life. Here I'd grown up with this kind of odd guy, quiet, pipe smoking minimalist, and he had a huge impact on me while growing up. He was always there, ready to give a quiet word of advise if asked, then suddenly he was gone and it was like the impact of a Mack dump truck on me. That I could never again in this world ask him something.

There were waves of grief that would suddenly hit me like a sneak sucker punch in the gut, and I'd have to sit down. But in time, the waves got smaller and less frequent. It was replaced in an odd way, by the filing that he was still there, and influencing my life. Sometimes I'd pause and ask myself what would the old man do? His pipes sat on my pipe shelf, and the smell of the Amphora brand of pipe tobacco would bring back soooo many memories. I dropped his peanut in my pocket and sometimes I'd find my hand in my pocket feeling it like a worry stone, thinking about him. The waves changed in nature. Became less grief and more nostalgia over memories of him doing something or saying something with his usual dry sarcastic wit.

The world will warm up again, but it takes a while, but revel in the memories that made it worthwhile knowing this person in the first place, and had what time you did have to know him.
 
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Rsmith_77 said:
Well
I got the call
The call nobody wants

The call that one's father has passed away. I know I vented about his health and him going in and out the hospital. So I assume I should post that he came home from the hospital, but his stay was shorter than anticipated

I am not sure when everything is gonna start rolling, all this is new to me, but I imagine I'll be gone for a bit when it does.

Regards
Ryan
Click to expand...
I'm so sorry for your loss. My dad passed away in 2007 and it was tough even though we'd really only known each other as adults since around 1986. He was out of my life for 20 years, while I was a young child and through my teens; but I'm so grateful that I got to know him for the next 20 years before he passed. I don't know what I will do when I get that call about my mother, who is still living independently in her 80's, and I hate that you had to get that now.
 
Well, I am home. We said our goodbyes and laid my father to rest.
It was a beautiful ceremony and I think we celebrated and honored him in the exact manner that would have made him happiest.

My step mother summed it up perfectly
She is gonna miss him
She is missing him already
But she wouldn't wish him back in the condition he was in the last few months
 
Rsmith_77 said:
Well, I am home. We said our goodbyes and laid my father to rest.
It was a beautiful ceremony and I think we celebrated and honored him in the exact manner that would have made him happiest.

My step mother summed it up perfectly
She is gonna miss him
She is missing him already
But she wouldn't wish him back in the condition he was in the last few months
Click to expand...

It's so tough to know that they're gone, but a small consolation that they are no longer suffering. I think you'll look back on this and decide as sad of an event as it was, it was needed as part of your grieving process.
 
Oh I know..
My head is telling me that he was suffering and in alot of pain and discomfort. More than I realized even. And that he knew his time was short he just didn't want us to know how bad it really was.

But my emotions are still coming to terms with it. I know I am hardly unique in this situation. But it is still sinking in that ...that's it. No more talking football, no more planning visits, no more ...any of it
 
I hope that didn't come across snarky
I just seem to be going back and forth between I am ok
And just...sad

And I keep telling myself I am not unique
That this is a part of life for everyone. I think it helps (me at least) to remember that everyone has or will go thru this at some point

I am just sitting here....feeling lost
I realized that in addition to losing my father, I did in fact lose a good friend
And that has made me even sadder, although I know that would have just made him so happy
 
Sorry to hear that your dad has passed Rsmith_77 Rsmith_77 My condolences sir. I hope that time heals the immediate wound of shock and sadness but know that he lives on in you. Losing a loved one is a hell of a thing to deal with and I hope that you can overcome it as gracefully as possible.

Paul
 
Rsmith_77 Rsmith_77 my condolences, man. Can't even imagine how you feel now, because just a thought of such events already makes me sad.

One advice I could give is try to think about it as little as possible for now. Thoughts of grief are self-propelling, if I am expressing that correctly.
 
I'm having a real hard time. At first it was just getting thru the gut punch of the news, planning and scrambling to trip back home, dealing with funeral and getting back home. But now, back at work and back home I think it's starting to really sink in....

I hate that to me, it was so sudden
So unexpected

In hindsight, I know he was struggling for a long time. More than I realized. So it wasn't really a surprise..

I hate that my stepmother was telling my wife how bad things were and she was trying to tell me .. gently
But what they were saying didn't line up with what he was saying to me or letting me know.

I hate the realization that ...there is no more Sunday calls, no more teasing about his jets being terrible
No more ..any of it

That, I suppose is true for everyone, that their father has always been a larger than life figure. We all know and we all say stuff like...we won't be here forever
But we kinda expect him to be

And I hate that it's sinking in that ...he's gone
I didn't even get to say goodbye
Not really
 
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