Changes

Addictions come in many shapes & forms, and who is proof against them all? Nobody. Girlfriend of mine in the past had a mother she loathed as the mother was a compulsive gambler who literally destroyed the family fortunes and kept on lying about it without remorse. Alcohol will take its toll on people and the people around them unless one is honest about one's drinking & reasons for doing so. Drugs both legal & prescription are a potentially toxic hazard particularly when used to mask something, likewise compulsive eating or not eating. Then there's addictions to political/ideological polarity or religious fanaticism as a way of simplifying peoples' inadequacies, or fears, an excuse or rationalisation of evil even. Addiction to being fed 'truth' by the media or disappearing into social-media as an all consuming mania. Twice today walking down the street young women almost bumped straight into me while reading their phones-totally oblivious to reality around them. Virtual insanity.:eek:

All compulsive behaviours or addictions that harm (does compulsive knife hoarding harm you? er....or obsessive tea & coffee drinking...;)) have a mental origin, habit, conditioning, inability to escape from routine. Suddenly if you are lucky you wake up. My own battle was on a mental level. I enjoy a drink because I like the taste of certain drinks with my foods, I learned from the example of my parents who were interested in wines, enjoyed them, drank moderately and were never drunk or bad tempered by it. I gave up smoking over 20 years ago as a test to see if I could, not so difficult. My battle as I say was habit and on a mental level: I've always been rather aggressive despite ( or because?) of not being remarkably physically powerful, I was very afraid of being bullied as a kid-on seeing the fate of others & determined to not allow this. I was good at imitating kids & teachers and was verbally very intimidating, it worked well. But....years and years later after the death of my father to whom I was very close and partly due to an ongoing physical illness and a lot of workplace alienation I suddenly began to have frequent and crippling anxiety. Some of it was for a reason mostly it was habit and conditioning but it began to unravel my life and make it miserable, and for those near me. My aggression increased, insomnia became my companion. People suggested I see a professional, I was open to it but soon very disappointed- I was immediately offered drugs which I thought a lazy and dangerous approach. I have seen the long term effects of anti-depressants & tranqs on people- OK short term - but what's good about mental fog & huge weight gain plus an addiction to pills? No, it's no different than boozing yourself off your head or taking street drugs in the end. I just realised that I liked myself, most people were neutral to me, some liked me a lot and a few had great dislike but on understanding this the anxiety dropped away in stages. I found that will power was valuable and enlightening by using mind only.

As the Buddhists say, You Are What You Think and this is a valuable truth & strength, you are what you think and not what you say in public to conform or win approval, win a popularity contest, IF your heart is not in it. Groupthink is one of the great dangers and degraders of the human psyche, it is a collective poison with very big 'side-effects' because self-deception is the root of most unhappy addictions or negative habits, a failure to be honest with yourself. Grasp that, then you have the courage to contend with your demons and overrule them, whatever they may be.

If my post is drawn for this great and moving GAW I want to nominate Gevonovich Gevonovich a connoisseur and wise man.

Regards to all who enter and all who are battling something, Will.
 
Thank you HST HST for this generous GAW and creating a chance for many to share their amazing life stories!

Mine took a form of a simple career change.

I was 'previously' a licensed structural engineer, started in NYC. I'd say a pretty successful one at the time, having designed/analyzed hospitals, educational facilities, hotels, high-rises (some 150+ floors), stadiums (got to work on the initial stage of the Yankee stadium in fact), and some HQ's for well known tech companies, located in the states and internationally....

After 15 years or so, I had come to accept that 12 to 15 hour work day was the norm (60 to 70 hours a week), including weekends, overnighters, etc. I told myself it will only get better...but didn't. After having kids, it came to my realization that I was missing out on the joys of seeing my kids grow up. I was seeing them for maybe an hour or two over dinner before they would cash in for the night, or not at all depending on when I came home.

I was asked once by the upper management how many hours of work I was putting in a day. I had told them at the time 10 to 12. The manager looked at me and said, "if you want to move up in this company, you might want to put in 12 or more hours regularly." This was from a manager who was in the office 'every' weekend at 6am before anyone else was in.

A long story short, I'm no longer a practicing structural engineer. I'm in construction related field but no more toiling away engineering. I have more time with my family, have taken more trips with the kids than I have ever before, and simply, I get to see my kids grow up...not to mention, get a chance to collect knives!!! 🤣

Hope this doesn't sound like a complaint against 'hard' work. It's not. This is simply a reflection on discovering what was most important in my life.

Sometimes, we all just need a 'shift' in perspective...Do you live to work or work to live?

Thank you again for the opportunity to share!
 
Some of these stories make me think I dont really have much to complain about.As for the nsw fire brigade...me and them have a date in compo court...hope they have bigboy pants on...pack of self aggrandising robots...my life was ruined...to the point of self destruction...
I too believe that support from and understanding by family and friends is a cornerstone to help...when help is needed...sadly I received neither from my family...which I understand....Its the betrayal that said you are not good enough and will never be forgiven and it cost me a lot...
I want to thank you all for sharing.
JonMcD JonMcD you get my golden ticket..You are a Champion.
Cheers...Everything in Moderation and Be The Person You Want To Be.
 
meako said:
Some of these stories make me think I dont really have much to complain about.As for the nsw fire brigade...me and them have a date in compo court...hope they have bigboy pants on...pack of self aggrandising robots...my life was ruined...to the point of self destruction...
I too believe that support from and understanding by family and friends is a cornerstone to help...when help is needed...sadly I received neither from my family...which I understand....Its the betrayal that said you are not good enough and will never be forgiven and it cost me a lot...
I want to thank you all for sharing.
JonMcD JonMcD you get my golden ticket..You are a Champion.
Cheers...Everything in Moderation and Be The Person You Want To Be.
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Thanks so much for thinking of me and for the kind words Jon - that means a ton!
 
joeradza joeradza appreciate your words Alan, thank you.

euroken euroken Very true, nothing wrong with hard work, but obsessive workaholicism is madness, who does it benefit? Some firm maybe but not the people or their families and they'll all be forgotten very quick by colleagues or the system. You made the right choice before it wrecked your health and family.

Regards, Will
 
HST HST thank you for sharing your story and your triumphs. And WELL DONE for putting in the hard work over the long haul!
I too need to make some long overdue changes in my lifestyle, and yours and the other stories here will go a long way in helping me face myself … what a truly great community.
Please give my entry to JonMcD JonMcD … and thank you all for contributing to this thread!
 
HST HST thank you for sharing your story and generosity. To everyone that shared their stories while we have a level of anonymity within the forums it still takes a considerable amount of courage to share what you all have.

I’ve had many struggles, probably no different than the average person. I’ve dealt with anger and depression for what has likely been years. I think the key term is “mental health” these days. Until about 6 months ago I’ve ignored it and just tried to keep moving on and hope for improvement over time. Then I decided to actively do something about it. I suppose it’ll never go away, but it’s getting better. Ignoring no doubt negatively impacted those around me.

Additionally, I was that typical judge mental person and in some regards exhibited bigoted behavior though I’ve never hated any population demographic. When looking back I think it was just a way of trying make me feel better about myself by thinking I was better than someone else. After developing trust issues and seeing how some would negatively judge me I took a look in the mirror because being on that side of it hurt. Cognitive of my faults I actively practice treating all equal and do not participate in society as if I am some sort authority figure with the right to judge others. Hopefully that makes sense without introducing politics and whatnot. I’m hoping that I have a sound value system that I can pass along to my kids.
 
Great idea for a giveaway.

Food and caffiene are my addictions currently. I definitely need to get back in shape, at 6'1" and 350 lbs.

I was involved in an employment situation that was really negative. My boss grossly underpaid, would dissappear for a week or so at a time, and leave me the only attorney in the office with court in multiple cities in at the same time. Constant stress.

Luckily I was laid right before Christmas..with a wife, a kid, and another baby on the way. This forced to start my own practice. I moved back to my home town. Big pay bump being my own boss. Not making money for someone else.

I did that for 5 years then went in house as a Public Defender. That push moved me back to my home town, bought a house and have my brother as a neighbor and parents live in the same town.

Thanks for the giveaway!
 
Ed G said:
HST HST thank you for sharing your story and your triumphs. And WELL DONE for putting in the hard work over the long haul!
I too need to make some long overdue changes in my lifestyle, and yours and the other stories here will go a long way in helping me face myself … what a truly great community.
Please give my entry to JonMcD JonMcD … and thank you all for contributing to this thread!
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Many thanks Ed for your kind gesture! I certainly have enjoyed the knives you have been sharing lately!
 
Congratulations, HST HST ! Many inspiring posts here. I could stand to lose a few pounds myself, and am encouraged by these stories.
As for change for the better in my life, I will say that over the last couple of years, I have taken my faith more seriously, and it has been a game-changer. Don't want to be more specific, as I know the rules on the Porch forbid religious discussion. Wishing the best for all here.
If my name is chosen, please send my prize to joeradza joeradza .
 
I'm in for CelloDan CelloDan (if you're ok shipping to the Great White North)

On a cold, rainy Friday in March, 2019, I coughed so hard and continuously I had a hard time getting a breath. It was a little scary. At one point I felt something tear inside. The next morning I drove myself to urgent care whereupon I was diagnosed with Bronchitis and given a scrip for some anti-biotics. Regarding the pain, the Doc said I could have cracked a rib or tore some of the anchoring cartilage. He said to take ibuprofen and try not to reinjure it. It hurt bad enough every time I coughed, that I didn't want to do anything to make myself cough.

Two weeks later, after completing the course of anti-biotics, I was massively better, but still not right. Went back to UC and this time was told I had pneumonia and given some different anti-biotics. Ten days later I was pretty much cured and was sitting there with my pack of smokes and my lighter, when I thought, "Its been over 3 weeks since you had a cigarette." 🤔

It's now been over 3 years since I've had a cigarette. I also lost 30 pounds. Need to lose another 30 :rolleyes:

As a result of this, I'm now also getting annual checkups and have gotten caught up on all my medical stuff. Before this it had been over 15 years since I'd been to the doctor for anything other than stitches.

Getting bronchitis/pneumonia turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Not really a great way to quit smoking, but it worked for me thumb.gif

Good on you HST HST for getting things in order. Great GAW :thumbsup:
 
glennbad said:
I'd like to change my non-entry to nominate JonMcD JonMcD

With so many people wanting nothing to do with kids, it's admirable that you see them for the blessing that they are!
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Glenn- they most certainly are a blessing. Thanks so much! I surely have been blessed by all the support from this community. We don’t show family pics often, but it is fun to connect stories from time to time that are deeper than the hobby we all love. I definitely have enjoyed reading the stories in this thread. Thanks again for the kind words.
 
mbkr said:
I'm in for CelloDan CelloDan (if you're ok shipping to the Great White North)

On a cold, rainy Friday in March, 2019, I coughed so hard and continuously I had a hard time getting a breath. It was a little scary. At one point I felt something tear inside. The next morning I drove myself to urgent care whereupon I was diagnosed with Bronchitis and given a scrip for some anti-biotics. Regarding the pain, the Doc said I could have cracked a rib or tore some of the anchoring cartilage. He said to take ibuprofen and try not to reinjure it. It hurt bad enough every time I coughed, that I didn't want to do anything to make myself cough.

Two weeks later, after completing the course of anti-biotics, I was massively better, but still not right. Went back to UC and this time was told I had pneumonia and given some different anti-biotics. Ten days later I was pretty much cured and was sitting there with my pack of smokes and my lighter, when I thought, "Its been over 3 weeks since you had a cigarette." 🤔

It's now been over 3 years since I've had a cigarette. I also lost 30 pounds. Need to lose another 30 :rolleyes:

As a result of this, I'm now also getting annual checkups and have gotten caught up on all my medical stuff. Before this it had been over 15 years since I'd been to the doctor for anything other than stitches.

Getting bronchitis/pneumonia turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Not really a great way to quit smoking, but it worked for me View attachment 1841951

Good on you HST HST for getting things in order. Great GAW :thumbsup:
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Gracias Mike for entering on my behalf and sharing your story !
Great GAW HST HST

I would like to enter for Crazy Canuck Crazy Canuck . I hope he is doing well ( I have not seen him post lately ) and that he is enjoying the spring after hibernating :)

I have battled with depression and anxiety for a great part of my life. In 2018 I was quite overweight as a result of overeating, antidepressant med and sleeping medication. Working shift work as a nurse and switching from 12 hours days to night and back to days certainly did not help. The amount of human suffering witnessed over the years took its toll as well.
I decided to face my fears and went for a medical check up which actually confirmed those fears. I was prediabetic, my cholesterol was high and my blood pressure as well.

We develop a plan with my doctor to wean me off the sleeping medication gradually. I was able to change jobs to one with no more night shifts. I quit my antidepressant and started walking and exercising out in nature.

Since then I've been able to loose 65 pounds and my goal is to loose another 30. I did hit a plateau for quite a while but actively reengaged with my diet and healthier eating since early this year and I am back on track ( lost 30 # since last February)

My mental fogginess is gone and my symptoms of depression/anxiety are much diminished and manageable.
My dear wife is battling a significant illness at present. My biggest fear has been not been able to support her as she has always been "my rock" .
She assures me daily that she is finding all the strength she needs in me which I find humbling and encouraging ... and hard to believe it at times.
I hope and pray and can always be there for her.
 
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