Dealing with a bully

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Ironwood666

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Hey all, I've got a small problem on my hands...My little brother is being bullied quite badly at school by this little psychopath who is a master at manipulating the kids and sucking up to adults. It's really beginning to hurt him and he's really upset most days. My question is, should I go talk to the kid and scare him bad, get my brother tough enough to give him his just rewards, or try something more discreet? Any other ideas would be great as well.
Thanks for looking, Ironwood
 
Scaring the shit out of the kid will just result in more retaliation and bitterness. That doesn't resolve the issue, despite what black-and-white easy solutions TV and books would have us believe. Bullies often suffer from some other compounded issue going on, and its the resolution of those problems that will result in him not being a dick to everyone. Often they are also ridiculed by others due to others not understanding them as well. Confront him, and the teacher concerning the issue and your concerns, and make communication key with your little brother.
 
Give the kids dad a beating for raising a punk! I can't stand a bully! You should get the school involved and the kids parents. I would also find out who else he is picking on and get with those kids parents as well. The whole bully thing needs to quit in this day in age. You should do something before it gets way out of hand.
 
The teacher knows, as he's had many complaints about this kid...as far as I know, he isn't bullied, and he has a very secure home life...when I said psychopath, I wasn't joking...he seems to do it just for kicks, amd fits the definition of it perfectly. As it's mostly psychological bullying, there are no marks...and because he sucks up to teachers and other adults, he doesn't get punished. His parents can't seem to believe there's anything up, so I can't talk to them either
 
infocus2006 said:
Give the kids dad a beating for raising a punk! I can't stand a bully! You should get the school involved and the kids parents. I would also find out who else he is picking on and get with those kids parents as well. The whole bully thing needs to quit in this day in age. You should do something before it gets way out of hand.
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That's not a bad idea IMO, but I'd rather not get into anything too big, if it continues however, that may be a good way to send the message home
 
I wonder if you can get a small voice recorder and give it to your brother. Mess around with it first so you both know its limits, best location, etc. before using it. Then if there is a set pattern or time, have your brother record it. Then take that to the school and maybe even the school board since there is supposed to be a zero tolerance policy against bullying. Maybe even mention getting a local news crew involved if the school won't act so there will be a fire under them to act.

Edit: Scotchleaf beat me to it while I was typing lol
 
I've got a mini recorder, but its a bit too high tec for me TBH...If I can figure out how it works, we will try that...
 
Id start communicating the issue in writing and send your brother to a counsellor to discuss the issue. Then escalate the communication with the school about the kid and threaten to go to the media. That kind of crap will get someone fired so theyll do something especially with a email trail. Stay on higher ground. Get the kid on video or voice recording.councilor
 
Now, I know this doesn't float today but, in the old days, the advice was: stand up to the little b-----d. I myself had two bullies hassle me in high school, and I slugged both of them with satisfactory results (although I got a nice shiner in one case). They never bothered me again and, actually, became quite cordial.
 
Can't do it personally, as I'm much older and would get in bad shit for doing it, but I'll see if I can convince my brother to stand up to him....He takes after most of the family in being somewhat nerdy and hating knives, but if it gets real bad, he will probably do it....
 
Is the bully threatening or partaking in physical violence?

If no, I think the best thing to do is sit down and talk to your brother and tell him that people will always be trying to screw with you and that you just have to ignore them and not let anything they say effect you. Also get him involved in some Jiu Jitsu to build confidence. Ive never been in a fight but Jiu Jitsu and Muay thai really helped me grow a thicker skin and be more confident of myself.

If they are physically harming him threaten with law suits. Everyone loves lawsuits.
 
There is no solid easy answer to this one or bullys would not exist today.
If the bully's parents think their child is perfect, how is it going to look if his sons says you are bullying their son. In this case it's even worse because of the size and age difference. Besides, like the teachers or you can't always be there to watch.

The only solution is to have the bully respect your brother one way or another. They don't have to be friend but he should respect him in one way or another and this is something your brother is going to have to learn to do. A lot of times, it can be size or strength or being able to fight but not always. Your brother has to learn to have this person respect him.
I don't think it would hurt if your son got stronger and learned to defend himself better, if not for this bully, then there are always more out there in real life.
 
KalEl said:
Is the bully threatening or partaking in physical violence?

If no, I think the best thing to do is sit down and talk to your brother and tell him that people will always be trying to screw with you and that you just have to ignore them and not let anything they say effect you. Also get him involved in some Jiu Jitsu to build confidence. Ive never been in a fight but Jiu Jitsu and Muay thai really helped me grow a thicker skin and be more confident of myself.

If they are physically harming him threaten with law suits. Everyone loves lawsuits.
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I'd like to get him started in Aikido, and some sword when hes older, but he's not interested in that stuff...wish he was more like me and less like the rest of the guys in the family. I will try to convince him to start a martial art or at least teach him some of the nasty locks that really came in handy before I became too scary to pick on lol
 
onlooker96 said:
There is no solid easy answer to this one or bullys would not exist today.
If the bully's parents think their child is perfect, how is it going to look if his sons says you are bullying their son. In this case it's even worse because of the size and age difference. Besides, like the teachers or you can't always be there to watch.

The only solution is to have the bully respect your brother one way or another. They don't have to be friend but he should respect him in one way or another and this is something your brother is going to have to learn to do. A lot of times, it can be size or strength or being able to fight but not always. Your brother has to learn to have this person respect him.
I don't think it would hurt if your son got stronger and learned to defend himself better, if not for this bully, then there are always more out there in real life.
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+1 on this. They have to respect you one way or another if one can do that with out a fight that is best, but if it comes down to one he dose not have to win. he only has to hurt the bully enough to make it to much work to mess with him. times have changed and regardless of the correctness of the action taken there probably will be some punitive action form the school, but one must stand up for them selves. I learned these lessons as a sped (special education student), with glasses and poor social skill. It coast me some detention and my dad had to come to school once but when it was over it was over. if it dose come down to a physical altercation tell your brother to do it some wear that other kids will not see, fewer people that see fewer witness their are plus the pack mentality dose not come into play. Lastly punching in the med section will not hurt his hands or leave less visible marks
 
Most schools have a zero tolerance rule for bullies. Have your brother report to the school counselor and follow up with email and a personal visit to the principal or vice principal. Make sure they know that you are aware of the situation and expect them to resolve it. The recorder is a good idea as well. Last resort would be your brother having a physical alteration that will cause your brother more trouble than he needs. My youngest girl has had some issues with other girls in school as well and thats the route we ended up going and got the issue resolved in all but one case. My oldest daughter took a opportune moment with no witnesses and handled that one her self. No marks but she got the point across and no more problems.
 
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