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Favorite Quotes from non-knife people.

Discussion in 'General Knife Discussion' started by williamsld8, Feb 25, 2012.

  1. williamsld8


    Sep 19, 2010
    Exactly what the title says. What are some of your favorite lines from those who seem to have a whole lot more to learn about knives? I thought this might be an interesting thread as two days ago, I watched my SNCO pull out a Cold Steel Spartan to cut a piece of paper. Upon recognizing it I said "Cold Steel, eh?" to which he responded "Yeah, an old infantry buddy of mine turned me onto Cold Steel." As he said this he hands it to me for a look. I take a look at the edge, noting the rolls and flat spots and numerous little deformities from the tip all the way down to the base of the blade. Then he says, "Yeah they're great knives, a year I have had that thing now and have yet to need to sharpen it." :rolleyes: I'm amazed the blade could cut the paper he had just used it on. I smirked a little, and without saying what first came to mind, I handed it back, softly said, "That's impressive," and went about my day. So how about it fellas? Any good ones?
  2. Morkte


    Oct 16, 2011
    "Why do you need a knife???" is a common one
  3. jdm61

    jdm61 itinerant metal pounder Knifemaker / Craftsman / Service Provider

    Aug 12, 2005
    One of the better and apparently not that uncommon lines heard at gun shows where custom knife makers are set up. "Where did you buy the blades?"
    Best line EVER, but we made need to Snopes this one. At a knife show a number of years ago, a couple was at Bill Moran's table. After looking at one of the knives, the wife is alleged to have said "how can they charge that much for a knife made by a Moron?":D
    My funniest experience did not involve words and the guy was probably a knife person. AT my first show in 2007, some old time picked up a knife from my table and stuck his tongue on the blade to "check the carbon content of the steel" :eek:
  4. brets-ftw


    Sep 11, 2010
    was totin a 4" skinner one day, and a friend asked "you planning on sticking someone with that?"

    or my personal favorite from about a month ago, and a little background;

    I was sitting at my favorite spot, its this cliff that covered in shrubbery and trees. Quiet and has a nice view of the ocean. Its also my "workshop" as the neighborhood is too quiet even for a dremel. So one day I was working out there and a older couple swings by to see some birds and the gentleman notices me filing down a hatchet head. He looks to his spouse and says "Oh, its some kid sharpening his weapon" He eventually comes by and asks me "why are you sharpening a weapon kid?" Now maybe I was just in a bad mood that day but I decided to be a smart a$$ and reply while pointing at his mini van "Is that your car over there? you must like to race"
  5. Magnaminous_G


    Jul 13, 2011

    or the even better:
    Q: "Why do you have that knife?"
    A: "You know... for the coming war with the machines. WTF do you think I have it for? To cut things."
    Q: "Why do you need to cut things?"
    A: "Question for you: remember when you nearly severed your finger a few minutes ago trying to remove that plastic price tag on the new shirt you bought by pulling it apart with your bare hands? Or that time this morning when you spent 20 minutes opening a pack of batteries? Or that time during lunch yesterday when you removed the skin of your pear by gnawing it off? Did it ever occur to you that you could have really used a knife in those instances?"
    Q: "Oh... yeah"
  6. Morkte


    Oct 16, 2011
    Love this, I'll remember this next time I get asked
  7. nickortizzle1035


    Dec 30, 2009
    mmmm. you can really taste the carbon...

    i work in the outdoors section of a sporting goods store. i sell low to mid range production knives. i hear some ridiculous things about knives almost every shift... some of my favorites are.

    • "why do you need so many knives?!"
    • "check this knife out!" (proceed to pull out some creepy frost cutlery or bud K $2.00 special).....
    • "gerber makes some of the best knives around"
    • "could this knife kill somebody"
    • "that's a weapons!"
    • "that's a switchblade!!" (when I open a spring assist)
    • "I only buy knives made in the USA. everything else is junk"
  8. Tim616


    Sep 13, 2011
    I notice a nice bell curve in society, it seems most anti-knife people, also tend to be doing not-so-well, in life.
  9. Morkte


    Oct 16, 2011
    "could this knife kill somebody"
    That"s when you say, "Why dont you ask another stupid question and find out"
  10. Guineaman


    Jan 20, 2012
    Out camping and a friends wife says" next it'll be guns" I said " to late"
  11. xceptnl


    Jan 30, 2008
    My boss . . . "I haven't had to carry a knife since I realized I could beat a man to death with my bare hands!" He's slightly egotistical and self centered to say the least. The irony is when he needs to "cut" something he always asks to borrow my knife.
  12. KennyB


    Jan 19, 2010
    My favorite is, "Wow, that's sharp!" nice runner up is, "Why do you need such a sharp knife?"

    Though one of my more bite-my-tongue moments was during Christmas when a relative of mine was showing me his knew knife. Nothing really bad, but one of those hardware-store display case knives from an upstart company. Long story short, he opens a present up with it and says, "Nothing like a knife edge when it's brand new." Just wanted to say, "Except when you sharpen it."
  13. Phydeaux


    Mar 4, 2006
    As I was sharpening a pencil with my Mini DeJavoo...

    Q: Why do you have such a big knife?

    A: I usually don't keep a pencil sharpener in my pocket. Its also hard to sharpen a pencil with a pair of scissors.
  14. Skimo


    Mar 28, 2009
    "Is it sharp?"

    I had one chick scare the crap out of me when she felt the edge.... not long after I bought her a knife of her own, turned out she wasn't slow and appreciated good steel.
  15. nickortizzle1035


    Dec 30, 2009
    depending on the person, i'll ask is they want to find out
  16. P2P

    P2P Gold Member Gold Member

    Jul 24, 2010
    These are some quotes over a Preon 2 flashlight.

    "Are you being serious right now"
    "what do you need that for?"
    "I can see having one in your car but why carry it on you?"
  17. Angus McGunnigl

    Angus McGunnigl

    May 22, 2002
    To cut things.
  18. tacdriver22mk2


    Jun 24, 2009
    i love it when someone says why do you have a knife

    and i say you stupid b$%$@ do you not see me in the act of opening this box FOR YOU

    or why do you need a knife that sharp

    well ... it ... works... better? why would i not
  19. tacdriver22mk2


    Jun 24, 2009
    i love it when someone says why do you have a knife

    and i say you stupid b$%$@ do you not see me in the act of opening this box FOR YOU

    or why do you need a knife that sharp

    well ... it ... works... better? why would i not

    oo or my favorite my dad likes to say " ye who lives by the sword dies by the sword"

    ... you worked in a gun shop for several years have hunted animals such as 300+lb wild pigs and coyotes and have carried a colt combat commander for god knows how long and your asking me this

    so i always reply well yes if you always have a sword by you then when you finally croak it will still be in close proximity so i suppose thats true
  20. minorng


    Dec 25, 2010
    how many knives do you need?

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