For the absolutely worst hamburger ever go to...

[Gollnick]

Better yet:

1 lbs ground beef (as you say, not to lean or you get dry, crumbly burgers. Besides, a lot of the fat cooks out.)

1 medium onion diced.

About 1 cup of unseasoned bread crumbs.

1 large egg.

About 2 tablespoons of water or you can substitute just about any other liquid for some or all of the water. Try soy sauce, steak sauce, wine, whatever.

Salt and Pepper to taste.

Just combine all of the ingredients throughly then form into patties about five inches in diameter and one inch thick. Grill to medium rare.

You'll get about six burgers out of a pound of beef this way, six patties an inch thick. Kind of makes you wonder about the quarter-pounder at most burger places which is maybe a 1/4" thick.

The onion adds flavor. Don't forget that it's gonna cook and cooked onion has a less intense, less oniony flavor than raw onion.

The bread crumbs absorb the juices and the flavor and hold it in the patty. They help keep the meat from falling apart. And, quite frankly they extend the meat which allows you to make thicker patties which allows you to get that wonderful pink center when you cook.

The egg cooks with the meat and helps hold it together so you don't get crumbly patties.

The water adds moisture. If you substitute for some or all of the water, it'll add some flavor too.



A friend recently suggested substituting Vietnameese fish sauce for about half the water and adding about a tablespoon of Thai red curry paste. Thai Curry Burgers: they are good!

 

[komondor]

Whoaa, Chuck. Some of the more traditional fish sauces, such as Nuc Mam sauce from Viet Nam, are pretty strong stuff.

I don't know if you want to add that stuff to your backyard bbq.

They basically throw salted fish into a barrel and about three months later a brown liquid starts to slowly drip from a spigot in the barrel. Pretty rugged stuff.

Although some of the more mainstream fish sauce is basically a soy sauce-flavored clear liquid. YMMV.

 

[Daniel Moore]

Cook patties on grill to desired level, melt one slice of deli-sliced American cheese and serve on toasted bun with fine diced onion and ketchup.

By ketchup, komondor means French's mustard, and both red pepper and jalapeno tabasco.

 

[kamkazmoto]

edited because I am a complete idiot who needs to get some sleep. night all

 

[KnifeAddictAK]

i need a good burger joint up here.. We have Red Robin and Carl Junior... others, but i won't eat there. BK cause a sudden bathroom trip last time i ate there :barf:

As to the women stuck to the couch, that is sad. Why would you allow yourself to become like that?

 

[Gollnick]

Whoaa, Chuck. Some of the more traditional fish sauces, such as Nuc Mam sauce from Viet Nam, are pretty strong stuff.

I'm talking the garden-variety American Grocery Store stuff.

The amount of liquid you add, whatever liquid you choose, is based on how fresh the meat is. If your store grinds its own fresh daily, then you may need only a tablespoon or so of water or other liquid. But if you're using that industrial ground beef in the tube that was ground six weeks ago at some giant factory, you may need three or four tablespoons to try and get some moisture back.

 

[MAURICE]

Anyone else find it interesting that the title of this thread is about terrible burgers, but most posts are about where to obtain kick ass burgers?

 

[Dave_B]

Spokane Valley...ever tried Dick's? it's a tradition here...downtown on Division and 3rd.

I used to eat at Dick's almost every Friday and Saturday night when I was in high school. I remember #1s (hamburgers), #2s (cheeseburgers) and #3s (cheeseburgers with onions). You got three of 'em in a bag for less than a buck. They had a great menu, but I stuck to the burgers.
Dick's & Riverside Avenue - great memories.
Dave