Funny things non knife people say.

[AntCaps]

My ex used to ask me

"how many knives do you really need?" "You only have two hands"

to which I replied

"one for every shoe or purse you have for what must be a thousand shoulders and feet"

Not to hijack this thread but this is the exact same thing i say to every chick thats ever questioned me owning several knives, so far its worked pretty well.

 

[lord grimlock]

At least your pocket knife won't be obsolete in six months.

amen, brother!!!! i carry the pinacle of stone age technology, and it has yet to become obsolete.....

 

[B.F.U]

I asked my mom which she liked better, my brothers bone collector benchmade or my 940 benchmade. When I opened my 940 she said "that's nice, is that a Gerber?"

 

[9blades]

I asked my mom which she liked better, my brothers bone collector benchmade or my 940 benchmade. When I opened my 940 she said "that's nice, is that a Gerber?"

I feel ya, I got the same thing with a 746....the worst part? It was a knife guy:grumpy:

 

[Moondrop]

Only recent experience that comes to mind went something like this:

Me to associate (older gentleman) in large home improvement store: Where would I find Swiss Army Knives?
Associate to me: Huh?
Me (thinking he just hadn't heard me over background noise): Where would I find Swiss army knives?
Associate: *blank look*
Me: Pocket knives.
Associate: Oh. We don't really sell those here.
*shows me where the folding utility knives are, says that's pretty much all they have*

 

[sullybosco1]

Someone:"Hey those Smith&Wesson knives must be real high quality, since their guns are so good"
Then I explain S&W doesn't actually make the knives.
OR
Someone:"Why is your knife SO sharp?"
Me:"because that's the only functional purpose a knife serves, might as well be good at it"
OR
While they're handling my TiLT.
Someone:"This is real nice quality. You must have spent around $50 for it"
Me:"More like $300+"
*Slowly and cautiously hands it back to me.*

This has happened to me before, except it was a Benchmade Griptillian...my cousin was surprised when i told it was $100

 

[bladeboss]

I was doing yard work yesterday, and we were putting up a tarp-awning by the man's pool.
It was supported on the corners of the STEEL FRAME by Zip-ties.
Well one of them needed to be cut.
Who did the 2 guys look at? Yup. Me and my Native 5.
No big deal, right?
Well the zip-tie was pretty damn tight to the metal frame.
"Here, can you cut this?"
"Ummm ill go get dikes."
"Nah. No time just use your knife"
"But I really dont want to rake it down the metal"
(Now, I think he was joking here, but still)
"I dont care! Hand me that thing, Ill rake it down the metal."
"Ugh. Ill cut it"
Slowly but surely, I managed to slip the tip under it and pulled straight on the tie without hitting steel.
I didnt want to risk it, just incase he wasnt kidding.
Some people think all knives can be replaced at Wal-Mart for $20.

 

[whateatsrabbits]

For some odd reason any time I pull out my zt0560 to cut something in font of someone I don't know they always call me rambo???

 

[Shotgun]

I went in to REI the other day to see how a mini-grip felt in my hand, as there are no knife stores near me and few benchmades feel good to me. As I looked at the much dwindled knife case a worker asked if I needed help and, forgetting I was likely talking to a nkp, I said "can I see a mini-grip" to which I received a blank stare. I apologized and pointed out the ones I wanted to see. When she had the case open she took two of them out at once and handed them to me blade first in a manner that signaled to me that she did not appreciate the sharpness of the blades. Still, I was dumbfounded when, as I held/opened/looked at the knives, she asked "so, what do you even need something like that for?" in a manner that signaled that she was concerned about how pointy/sharp/fast they were. I'm not as quick as some of you guys, so I simply said "oh, you'd be surprised how handy they are" and walked out. I know this isn't as amusing a story as most of yours, I just couldn't believe someone working in an outdoors store would have no idea what you would use a knife for.

She probably spent her entire backpacking career without one and will probably never need one. Knives are as foreign an idea to some backpackers as they are the rest of the public.

For me, I was showing some pics of a Swamp Rat I was buying to this older gent at work once. I told him I ordered a knife and he said "Oh you got a Gerber?" I said no and then told him about it. I said it wasn't stainless steel to which he said "So it won't hold an edge huh?" To that I just turned and went back to work.

 

[Ankerson]

Some people think all knives can be replaced at Wal-Mart for $20.

That would be MOST people I would guess.....

 

[Kuttrs]

"Woah, you could kill someone with that!"

 

[EBHM4]

After I accidentally cut myself on my Benchmade Rift (My own damn fault) a couple years back my brother politely informed me that my knife was too sharp. I politely informed him that there is no such thing and he is a heretic for even suggesting such a thing! He actually did laugh at that one. For a good one though, a co-worker of mine was handling my Gayle Bradley one day and the first thing he says is "I'm no knife guy, but even I can tell this thing exudes quality." When he asked me what it cost he was actually surprised it was less than 3 or 4 hundred bucks.

I forgot the best one! One time I was at Dick's sporting goods, and the man behind the knife counter was an interesting sort. He attempted to tell me that a Kershaw Cryo was a Kershaw Funxion and then tried to say that the Cryo was illegal in New York State because it was rated in eight times spring assist by some system he apparently made up on the spot. I asked him how that rating was established and he told me it was based on how many times the assist spring was coiled around the pivot. He of course then didn't believe me when I informed him that SpeedSafe assist uses a torsion bar. Finally I decided to just be a jerk and I pulled out my ZT0561, held it next to the Cryo, and just said "Looks like Rick Hinderer design to me" before putting it down and walking away.

 

[9blades]

After I accidentally cut myself on my Benchmade Rift (My own damn fault) a couple years back my brother politely informed me that my knife was too sharp. I politely informed him that there is no such thing and he is a heretic for even suggesting such a thing! He actually did laugh at that one. For a good one though, a co-worker of mine was handling my Gayle Bradley one day and the first thing he says is "I'm no knife guy, but even I can tell this thing exudes quality." When he asked me what it cost he was actually surprised it was less than 3 or 4 hundred bucks.

That's cool:thumbup:

 

[Arnold Howard]

Someone needed to open a plastic bag of food at a team get together for the kids. Out of 24 adults no one could muster a cutting device. The dude that could not rip the bag open then asked loudly for a pair of scissors because everyone carries those. One pseudo-man offered a bottle cap which was attempted.

I could have opened that bag with a knife or scissors. My son, Patrick, gave me a tiny Swiss Army knife with 1-1/4" blade and scissors for Father's Day when he was about 10 years old. That was 15 years ago, and I've been carrying one ever since. My current Swiss Army knife is a recent gift from my son and my wife Sandi. It, too, has a 1-1/4" blade and scissors. Though these knives are small, they are extremely useful.

Sincerely,

Arnold Howard
Paragon Industries, L.P., Mesquite, Texas USA
ahoward@paragonweb.com / www.paragonweb.com

 

[machine26]

My dad closely examining my inlaid sebenza, "This is a nice knife, must've cost what, 60 dollars?" lol

It was so funny cause it was genuine, excitement in his voice. Like man, this thing is great. My dad trips me out, if you can't buy it at a flea market for a quarter, he won't own it. lmao

 

[CBennett]

Never got anyone saying anything about actually carrying a knife(though since I always CC a pistol(Ruger SR9c) also I have had people(that know or find out) say stuff about that. The only thing ive EVER had/heard anyone say is that knife COST HOW MUCH??? And then go on to point out the cheap knockoff at the local hardware store was "only" $12"..Obviously oblivious as to what a good knife is, is all about, and costs and why. But never had anyone ask about actually carrying one though.

 

[CBennett]

For some odd reason any time I pull out my zt0560 to cut something in font of someone I don't know they always call me rambo???

The only one ive gotten that with was the Gerber Parabellum and I only use that when I camp..ive also been told its "too sharp" lol.

 

[SBXT]

"Did you buy another knife?" ( from my wife when a package shows up.)
"No sweetie, I sent one of my old knives out to be professionally sharpened!"

Recently someone saw my mini griptilian and asked "what do you need a knife like that for?" I decided it was a good thing they didn't see the MT Scarab in my pocket.

 

[crazyengineer]

I've got a new one I forgot about

I'll be playing with whatever knife I have most recently purchased, modded, etc...

My sister will see it and ask how much I paid for this one. She has already called me crazy for spending so much... I've started with responding with either "not too much" or "enough"

Her response?

That means well over a hundred bucks...and shakes her head in disgust

 

[Faiaoga]

I could have opened that bag with a knife or scissors. My son, Patrick, gave me a tiny Swiss Army knife with 1-1/4" blade and scissors for Father's Day when he was about 10 years old. That was 15 years ago, and I've been carrying one ever since. My current Swiss Army knife is a recent gift from my son and my wife Sandi. It, too, has a 1-1/4" blade and scissors. Though these knives are small, they are extremely useful.

Sincerely,

Arnold Howard
Paragon Industries, L.P., Mesquite, Texas USA
ahoward@paragonweb.com / www.paragonweb.com

It is only a little silly when a group of people cannot open a food bag because no no one has a knife, but it is a real tragedy when a person is injured because no one can cut a jammed seat belt or handle a similar emergency. The Knife Rights organization has a collection of stories that show lives being saved because a sharp, useful tool was available. In at least one case, a chld was burned to death after an auto accident because no one had a knife to cut a seat belt. The Knife Rights website makes interesting reading.