Funny things non knife people say.

[crazyengineer]

Get ready to laugh then.
A mechanical engineer at my dad's place of employment could not figure out how to close a Spyderco Native 5.
He could not figure out how to unlock a simple lock-back.
He just kept pushing harder on the spine of the blade.
This is a person who works on designing components for cars.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

I am an engineering student, it is amazing how often other people can't figure out how to shut my knife. Most of my friends shut them just fine now, but if there is anyone else, a lot of times, they can't figure it out.

 

[eKretz]

When I was younger my cousin's husband (douchey dude, he's a dentist) was trying to open a taped box at the family Xmas party and asked if anyone had a knife. I always had my trusty carbon fiber handled CRKT M14 in my pocket so I offered it up, thinking I'd be nice and make the gesture, even though I couldn't stand the guy. So what does he do right after he gets done opening it? He says, "Geez, look at that thing, it's a Rambo knife! What do you need a knife like that for!?" Confirmed. Farking douche. And no, he couldn't figure out how to close the liner lock. How this guy ever got a Y chromosome I'll never know.

 

[Jastab]

Get ready to laugh then.
A mechanical engineer at my dad's place of employment could not figure out how to close a Spyderco Native 5.
He could not figure out how to unlock a simple lock-back.
He just kept pushing harder on the spine of the blade.
This is a person who works on designing components for cars.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

My girlfriends brother works at otter box as a mechanical engineer., he couldn't figure out how to put a bike chain back on the sprocket. He took it to a shop hahaha!! Just because you spent the time and money for college doesn't make you smarter than the next guy.

 

[B.F.U]

I went in to REI the other day to see how a mini-grip felt in my hand, as there are no knife stores near me and few benchmades feel good to me. As I looked at the much dwindled knife case a worker asked if I needed help and, forgetting I was likely talking to a nkp, I said "can I see a mini-grip" to which I received a blank stare. I apologized and pointed out the ones I wanted to see. When she had the case open she took two of them out at once and handed them to me blade first in a manner that signaled to me that she did not appreciate the sharpness of the blades. Still, I was dumbfounded when, as I held/opened/looked at the knives, she asked "so, what do you even need something like that for?" in a manner that signaled that she was concerned about how pointy/sharp/fast they were. I'm not as quick as some of you guys, so I simply said "oh, you'd be surprised how handy they are" and walked out. I know this isn't as amusing a story as most of yours, I just couldn't believe someone working in an outdoors store would have no idea what you would use a knife for.

 

[kershawTEX]

I was in my c-130 training class today and a fellow classmate asked to use my knife again to open some planters trail mix. The first time I gave him that paramilitary2. Today I handed him the big nast zt0561 and another class mate saw it and proclaimed "f*ckin crocodile dundee over, you call that a knife. Good times!

 

[mrdeus]

We're doing this hobby project in my Korean class this weekend that requires some kind of hobby knife. Last week the teacher asked who could bring the required knife/knives and I volunteered. A classmate then says something about me being a murderer (for offering to bring hobby knives for a project that requires them). I don't know if you've seen the movie Serenity, but I gave him the equivalent of the look River gives Simon when he asks her "Am I talking to Miranda now?".

 

[PURPLEDC]

My ex used to ask me

"how many knives do you really need?" "You only have two hands"

to which I replied

"one for every shoe or purse you have for what must be a thousand shoulders and feet"

 

[ShooterMcgavin]

From a co-worker, looking at one of my new knife purchases: "See that blade shape - that is meant purely for stabbing"

 

[bpeezer]

I just had this happen...I pulled out my mini grip just to open a package and someone close by was like "woah...ninja knife!"

 

[goodeyesniper]

I went in to REI the other day to see how a mini-grip felt in my hand, as there are no knife stores near me and few benchmades feel good to me. As I looked at the much dwindled knife case a worker asked if I needed help and, forgetting I was likely talking to a nkp, I said "can I see a mini-grip" to which I received a blank stare. I apologized and pointed out the ones I wanted to see. When she had the case open she took two of them out at once and handed them to me blade first in a manner that signaled to me that she did not appreciate the sharpness of the blades. Still, I was dumbfounded when, as I held/opened/looked at the knives, she asked "so, what do you even need something like that for?" in a manner that signaled that she was concerned about how pointy/sharp/fast they were. I'm not as quick as some of you guys, so I simply said "oh, you'd be surprised how handy they are" and walked out. I know this isn't as amusing a story as most of yours, I just couldn't believe someone working in an outdoors store would have no idea what you would use a knife for.

If you think about it, modern outdoors equipment and places the average person will ever actually go outdoors is weaning away any real "need" for a knife. So many of the younger generation of backpackers/hikers/campers probably never even use a knife on their trips. You have all the lightweight, high tech tents, bags, prepackaged meals. And they probably mostly go to parks where you can not cut anything down, or make any fires, etc... No more making your own shelters, preparing your own food, making kindling for a fire, etc...

It's not too surprising, just a bit sad. I know people who consider themselves "outdoors" people who don't bring any knife or tool besides eating utensils (no knife included) on their backpacking trips. But they seem to get by just fine, so good on them.

I can't even make it to the corner market without a knife in my pocket, so who am I to judge haha

 

[B.F.U]

If you think about it, modern outdoors equipment and places the average person will ever actually go outdoors is weaning away any real "need" for a knife. So many of the younger generation of backpackers/hikers/campers probably never even use a knife on their trips. You have all the lightweight, high tech tents, bags, prepackaged meals. And they probably mostly go to parks where you can not cut anything down, or make any fires, etc... No more making your own shelters, preparing your own food, making kindling for a fire, etc...

It's not too surprising, just a bit sad. I know people who consider themselves "outdoors" people who don't bring any knife or tool besides eating utensils (no knife included) on their backpacking trips. But they seem to get by just fine, so good on them.

I can't even make it to the corner market without a knife in my pocket, so who am I to judge haha

What's strange to me is that I was actually (much) younger than the worker. I'm still a teenager, so a part of that generation. I guess its just how I was raised. My grandpa always had a sak, my dad a kershaw, and my brothers a spyderco or benchmade. If they can get by without it, like you said good for them, but I've always found using a knife to do your own work when "outdoors" to be satisfying.

I Guess I'm just out of touch with my own times! (not that I'm ashamed)

 

[Tixx]

I was in my c-130 training class today and a fellow classmate asked to use my knife again to open some planters trail mix. The first time I gave him that paramilitary2. Today I handed him the big nast zt0561 and another class mate saw it and proclaimed "f*ckin crocodile dundee over, you call that a knife. Good times!

Funny!

 

[dunnfather]

"You're lucky I not going to report you to security for carrying an illegal switchblade!"

I work at the Apple store in my city. Took out a kershaw scallion to open this woman's iPad and do her setup and a suited up older gent said that to me from the other side of the table as he was leaving. Everybody sitting there, coworkers included, was just staring at me when the knife was out. They asked questions about my knife such as why I carried it to work in a computer store. Sorry that I don't break an apple gift card into a corner edge to do the job of a knife, like my coworkers do. For the amount of use my knife gets during a work day there, it always amazed me that even my coworkers were so weirded out by me carrying a blade. It's a tool, sheeple!

 

[liamstrain]

Make sure the apple store doesn't have a company policy against such. "switchblade" though it may not be.

And seriously? Sheeple?

 

[cncpro11]

The one thing above all else that I hear from non - knife people...

" can you sharpen this for me? "

 

[dunnfather]

Make sure the apple store doesn't have a company policy against such. "switchblade" though it may not be.

And seriously? Sheeple?

I was joking around, can see how that fails to come through in plain text. I've been working there for a year, never heard a peep about it from higher up. Since there isn't even a company policy against what you're wearing to work, besides the shirt, I think I'm fine. Manager/buddy asks to use it all the time, I've even noticed some more coworkers carrying.

 

[PURPLEDC]

I also forgot about all the times Ive been to peoples houses and they are cursing their kitchen cutlery as crap and saying they dont stay sharp. I ask them what they are using for a cutting board and most of them reply "oh, just a glass one because its easy to clean"

 

[Esav Benyamin]

That's funny. I got glass "cutting boards" for family members a few years ago, but they know to cut on wood. The glass, with colorful designs, is for serving. Since I had also gotten them kitchen knives, they appreciated how effective a decent edge can be.

 

[eKretz]

Aghh, don't even get me started on glass cutting boards. I sharpened my girlfriend's knives and a week later she was asking me to sharpen them again...I'm like what did you do, frame a house and cut the lumber with your knives? How can they be dull already?! Well, turns out that nice end grain cutting board sitting by the knives? Yeah, she doesn't use it. Had a glass one hiding in the cabinet. GRR!!

 

[eafisher]

I always get "you paid how much! ?! For a knife? ! ?"