I am just giving my arthritic thumbs a break from editing my photos, while I wait for Wolfie to come round to collect his kids' presents

This is actually a postcard from the Timanfaya National Park. Hard to believe that, just over a week ago, I was leading a camel train across the Volcanic terrain. Camels are great beasts of burden in low-water environments, but they are very truculent animals. Even though they are universally known as camels in the Canary Islands, the beasts are in fact dromedaries, the first of which arrived on Lanzarote more than 200 years ago. If there'd been anything else to do at this stage on our tour, (as the website had promised), I would probably have forsaken a ride, and hung onto my 22 Euros, but the website lied, and we were frog-marched onto the camels, who must earn their owners a small fortune. Travellers are seated on either side of the dromedaries single hump, and I ended up with a pleasant, but very chatty, young divorcee, called Vicky, whose two damaged children rode on the camel behind. Being as Vicky was a fraction of my weight, they had to load her seat up with ballast, which they did very discreetly I thought

The other four-legged animals were all female, but each 'train' is led by a male. Vicky ascertained that our camel was called 'Abdul'. Abdul seemed rather disinterested in his work, but reluctantly lurched into the air, with his passengers clinging on. Being at the front meant I got the least interesting photographs unfortunately, and Vicky (bless her), chattered throughout, apparently not having had an adult conversation for some time. Abdul plodded along the short, circular route, which took less than ten minutes to complete, but at one point, he stopped, and lowered his head, swaying, as if he was going to lie down again. This put us in quite a precarious position, and Vicky was already panicking. It was undoubtedly an extremely foolish gamble, but I assertively commanded Abdul "Hut! Hut!" Incredibly, it worked, and he commenced his slow march. Vicky was amazed, and asked where I had learned the trick. I told her, truthfully, I had seen it in
Lawrence of Arabia!

Thankfully, it went well, and I was spared being pictured on the front of the next day's
Lanzarote Gazette, with a headline reading something like: "CAMEL TRAIN RUNS AMOK! Mad Yorkshireman Charged With Recklessness While in Charge of a Camel!"