Gollnick
Musical Director
- Joined
- Mar 22, 1999
- Messages
- 29,258
How do you know you live there?
- Thread starter Gollnick
- Start date
Cougar Allen
Buccaneer (ret.)
- Joined
- Oct 9, 1998
- Messages
- 73,632
I know I live in Massachusetts because we have the Scorched Earth Policy -- No Blade of Grass Shall Grow Within 500 Feet of a Road. I hear a salt truck going by now....
I just paused to look out the window. There isn't as much salt on the road as there is snow ... not quite as much.
I just paused to look out the window. There isn't as much salt on the road as there is snow ... not quite as much.
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2006
- Messages
- 17
I know that I live in Houston, because of all the Katrina refugees trying to take my stuff.
- Joined
- Jul 28, 2003
- Messages
- 2,790
I live in Massachusetts because that's where I was born, and that's pretty much the only reason.
I know I live in Massachusetts because my SAAB, which would be in pristine condition in somewhere like Arizona, instead is speckled with small pits and rust spots aplenty.
I also know I live in Massachusetts because whoever, except as provided by law, carries on his person, or carries on his person or under his control
in a vehicle, any stiletto, dagger or a device or case
which enables a knife with a locking blade to be drawn
at a locked position, any ballistic knife, or any knife
with a detachable blade capable of being propelled by any
mechanism, dirk knife, any knife having a double-edged blade,
or a switch knife, or any knife having an automatic spring
release device by which the blade is released from the
handle, having a blade of over one and one-half inches,
or a slung shot, blowgun, blackjack, metallic knuckles
or knuckles of any substance which could be put to the
same use with the same or similar effect as metallic
knuckles, nunchaku, zoobow, also known as klackers or
kung fu sticks, or any similar weapon consisting of two
sticks of wood, plastic or metal connected at one end by a
length of rope, chain, wire or leather, a shuriken or any
similar pointed starlike object intended to injure a person
when thrown, or any armband, made with leather which has
metallic spikes, points or studs or any similar device made
from any other substance or a cestus or similar material
weighted with metal or other substance and worn on the hand,
or a manrikigusari or similar length of chain having weighted
ends; or whoever, when arrested upon a warrant for an alleged
crime, or when arrested while committing a breach or disturbance
of the public peace, is armed with or has on his person, or has
on his person or under his control in a vehicle, a billy or
other dangerous weapon other than those herein mentioned and
those mentioned in paragraph (a), shall be punished by
imprisonment for not less than two and one-half years nor more
than five years in the state prison, or for not less than six
months nor more than two and one-half years in a jail or house
of correction, except that, if the court finds that the defendant
has not been previously convicted of a felony, he may be punished
by a fine of not more than fifty dollars or by imprisonment for
not more than two and one-half years in a jail or house of correction.
Maybe someday I can get out of this place
I know I live in Massachusetts because my SAAB, which would be in pristine condition in somewhere like Arizona, instead is speckled with small pits and rust spots aplenty.
I also know I live in Massachusetts because whoever, except as provided by law, carries on his person, or carries on his person or under his control
in a vehicle, any stiletto, dagger or a device or case
which enables a knife with a locking blade to be drawn
at a locked position, any ballistic knife, or any knife
with a detachable blade capable of being propelled by any
mechanism, dirk knife, any knife having a double-edged blade,
or a switch knife, or any knife having an automatic spring
release device by which the blade is released from the
handle, having a blade of over one and one-half inches,
or a slung shot, blowgun, blackjack, metallic knuckles
or knuckles of any substance which could be put to the
same use with the same or similar effect as metallic
knuckles, nunchaku, zoobow, also known as klackers or
kung fu sticks, or any similar weapon consisting of two
sticks of wood, plastic or metal connected at one end by a
length of rope, chain, wire or leather, a shuriken or any
similar pointed starlike object intended to injure a person
when thrown, or any armband, made with leather which has
metallic spikes, points or studs or any similar device made
from any other substance or a cestus or similar material
weighted with metal or other substance and worn on the hand,
or a manrikigusari or similar length of chain having weighted
ends; or whoever, when arrested upon a warrant for an alleged
crime, or when arrested while committing a breach or disturbance
of the public peace, is armed with or has on his person, or has
on his person or under his control in a vehicle, a billy or
other dangerous weapon other than those herein mentioned and
those mentioned in paragraph (a), shall be punished by
imprisonment for not less than two and one-half years nor more
than five years in the state prison, or for not less than six
months nor more than two and one-half years in a jail or house
of correction, except that, if the court finds that the defendant
has not been previously convicted of a felony, he may be punished
by a fine of not more than fifty dollars or by imprisonment for
not more than two and one-half years in a jail or house of correction.
Maybe someday I can get out of this place
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2005
- Messages
- 5,171
I know I live in NC when I ask for directions and it starts with "Over there, down yonder ...."
- Joined
- May 7, 2005
- Messages
- 20,928
I know I live in MA. because I can not buy certain 1911's, except for a S&W 1911. I can't get a Kahr Arms gun, unless I am an LEO.......My Seecamp is a CA. edition, and the ONLY way I can get one here. I can not buy a Rohrbaugh here.......Anyway, you get the point.
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2001
- Messages
- 12,329
Because I coach and am around boys whose names begin with:
Forrest
Porter
Winston
Topher
Woods
Erdman
Tobias
Gaylord
Zeph
Archibald
Dickinson
Harry
This is THE blueneck capitol of the world...
Coop
Forrest
Porter
Winston
Topher
Woods
Erdman
Tobias
Gaylord
Zeph
Archibald
Dickinson
Harry
This is THE blueneck capitol of the world...
Coop
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2005
- Messages
- 2,662
orthogonal1 said:
Yeah... but that's usually followed by some time figure. I guess we don't have concept of distance.
A few weeks ago in the booming metropolis of Clyde, NC, someone told me that something was "that way, oh I dunno, 'bout ten minutes." "that way" had a few turns that the guy's arm didn't simulate for me. "'bout ten minutes" turned into 'bout half an hour.
I stole these off the net but they are pretty good.
Vacation" means driving to Chitna to dip net
You measure distance in hours.
Down south to you means Anchorage.
You know several people who have hit a moose.
.
You think of the major four food groups as moose, caribou, beer, and squaw candy.
You think that moose season is a national holiday.
You know what a real sockeye is, and have a recipe for candy ones.
You know if another Alaskan is from the city or the village as soon as they open their mouth.
You can spell words like Chatanika, Ninilchik, and Tuntutuliak.
You've had cabin fever.
You own moose nugget ear rings.
Mosquito dope is a part of your daily attire.
You think the song Breaking Up is Hard to Do is about spring time.
Travel luggage consists of ice coolers (or fish boxes) wrapped with duct tape.
A seven course meal is a sixpack and a can of SPAM.
When you answer the phone and it's a wrong number, but you know the number of the person they were trying to call off the top of your head.
You have bigger tires on your plane than on your car.
Someone mentions "super cub" and you do not envision a tiny bear wearing blue tights and a red cap.
Your relatives/friends think you live too far away for them to come visit you, but keep asking you to come see them more often.
. The reason you don't own a poodle is because an eagle ate the last one.
Kids catch the bus in the dark and get off it in the dark.
You know why they named it Chicken, Alaska.
You know that road flares will start a nice bon fire.
You take the door off the outhouse to see the aurora.
Your idea of taking a load off is emptying the firewood out of the back of the truck.
You know a tail-dragger is an airplane, not a bad day at the office.
You know that a Spenard Divorce involves a .357 magnum, not a lawyer.
You like your neighbors.
You know at least one pot grower.
You put up with the pain of a toothache until the Permanent Fund Dividend checks come out in October.
You know going "outside" involves a whole lot more than opening a door and walking into the yard.
You know Bunny Boots aren't worn by bunnies or made out of bunnies.
You know the meaning of the word "baleen" and it has nothing to do with making hay into large cubes.
You take off your shirt and your arms are as pale as your legs all the way to your wrists.
You don't know anyone who doesn't own a 4-wheeler.
You've washed your car while there was still snow on the ground.
You know a honey bucket is really a bucket, but it's not really full of honey.
You know that the Rat Net is not a rodent catching device.
You learned to swim indoors.
Your bedroom windows are covered in aluminum foil.
Your monthly veterinarian bill is more than your own medical bill.
You know a "white out" has to do with winter conditions not correcting fluid for typos.
You think it's normal for a town to put all the businesses on one side of the road.
Your local golf course has "happy hour" between 1:00 and 2:00 am
The seat in your outhouse is lined with styrofoam so your butt won't freeze to it when you have to sit down for a certain amount of time.
You've had to set your alarm every three hours to go start you car and let it run for 20 minutes so hopefully it will start in the morning so you can go to work.
Instead of plugging in your freezer, you've just move it to the front porch!
Vacation" means driving to Chitna to dip net
You measure distance in hours.
Down south to you means Anchorage.
You know several people who have hit a moose.
.
You think of the major four food groups as moose, caribou, beer, and squaw candy.
You think that moose season is a national holiday.
You know what a real sockeye is, and have a recipe for candy ones.
You know if another Alaskan is from the city or the village as soon as they open their mouth.
You can spell words like Chatanika, Ninilchik, and Tuntutuliak.
You've had cabin fever.
You own moose nugget ear rings.
Mosquito dope is a part of your daily attire.
You think the song Breaking Up is Hard to Do is about spring time.
Travel luggage consists of ice coolers (or fish boxes) wrapped with duct tape.
A seven course meal is a sixpack and a can of SPAM.
When you answer the phone and it's a wrong number, but you know the number of the person they were trying to call off the top of your head.
You have bigger tires on your plane than on your car.
Someone mentions "super cub" and you do not envision a tiny bear wearing blue tights and a red cap.
Your relatives/friends think you live too far away for them to come visit you, but keep asking you to come see them more often.
. The reason you don't own a poodle is because an eagle ate the last one.
Kids catch the bus in the dark and get off it in the dark.
You know why they named it Chicken, Alaska.
You know that road flares will start a nice bon fire.
You take the door off the outhouse to see the aurora.
Your idea of taking a load off is emptying the firewood out of the back of the truck.
You know a tail-dragger is an airplane, not a bad day at the office.
You know that a Spenard Divorce involves a .357 magnum, not a lawyer.
You like your neighbors.
You know at least one pot grower.
You put up with the pain of a toothache until the Permanent Fund Dividend checks come out in October.
You know going "outside" involves a whole lot more than opening a door and walking into the yard.
You know Bunny Boots aren't worn by bunnies or made out of bunnies.
You know the meaning of the word "baleen" and it has nothing to do with making hay into large cubes.
You take off your shirt and your arms are as pale as your legs all the way to your wrists.
You don't know anyone who doesn't own a 4-wheeler.
You've washed your car while there was still snow on the ground.
You know a honey bucket is really a bucket, but it's not really full of honey.
You know that the Rat Net is not a rodent catching device.
You learned to swim indoors.
Your bedroom windows are covered in aluminum foil.
Your monthly veterinarian bill is more than your own medical bill.
You know a "white out" has to do with winter conditions not correcting fluid for typos.
You think it's normal for a town to put all the businesses on one side of the road.
Your local golf course has "happy hour" between 1:00 and 2:00 am
The seat in your outhouse is lined with styrofoam so your butt won't freeze to it when you have to sit down for a certain amount of time.
You've had to set your alarm every three hours to go start you car and let it run for 20 minutes so hopefully it will start in the morning so you can go to work.
Instead of plugging in your freezer, you've just move it to the front porch!
Esav Benyamin
MidniteSuperMod
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2000
- Messages
- 90,915
Not the usual thing here in New Jersey, but we had a couple of feet of snow in the northeast today (after the warmest winter ever, pretty much) and when I looked outside around noon, I literally could not see anything past my window. Just a bit of gray glare on almost untouched snow and I was blind.
glockman99
RIP Dann, you were a good guy.
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2000
- Messages
- 21,269
I know I live in Aberdeen, WA because that's what my Driver's License and Concealed Weapons Permit says..
.
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2001
- Messages
- 3,190
I can visit the Eiffel Tower, the Statue of Liberty, Venice, or a pyramid without leaving town.
These pop up on the internet and in my e-mail every now and then:
You know you live in Las Vegas when:
j
These pop up on the internet and in my e-mail every now and then:
You know you live in Las Vegas when:
- You’ve played slots... in 7-11
- Your car payment is more than your rent
- Your McDonald's has a hand-painted portrait of Marilyn & Elvis
- The slot machines in the airport drown out the PA announcements
- You've attended a drive through wedding
- You've been to a museum... at a casino
- Your favorite form of mass transport is free
- You can count cards
- You know that prostitution is illegal in Las Vegas
- You've wondered if your cab ride will end up on Taxi Cab Confessions
- More of your friends were born in California than Nevada
- Your car's overheated - BEFORE you start driving
- You know what all the combinations mean on a slot machine
- You don't answer the phone during UNLV basketball
- You see more billboards than trees on the road
- You've seen a red leather male chastity belt in full color on the front page of the living section
- You have legal brothels within a half hour's drive of your state legislature
- You have ever thought New Jersey sounded like a nice, wholesome place to visit
- You know that Pahrump is not actually the punchline of a bad joke. At least, not always - it's the only known natural habitat for the endangered Nosferatus Rodentus Moderatus
j
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2005
- Messages
- 5,171
I forgot about the "time = distance" thing.
But I do remember the driving speed habit, to wit:
No faster than the posted speed (preferrably 10mph less) except in passing and residential zones, then its a minimum 10mph over.
Always cross the center-line on curves (Dale does it, I guess).
But I do remember the driving speed habit, to wit:
No faster than the posted speed (preferrably 10mph less) except in passing and residential zones, then its a minimum 10mph over.
Always cross the center-line on curves (Dale does it, I guess).
Esav Benyamin
MidniteSuperMod
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2000
- Messages
- 90,915
Crazy, baby.
Did you know the Nosferatus Rodentus Moderatus was from New Jersey before he ever heard of Pahrump?
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2005
- Messages
- 20,010
I know I live in MD, because Baltimore City and Baltimore County, Harford County and Carroll County(all metro Baltimore) closed schools, even though the roads are clear, but Garrett County, in western MD, only went in two hours late.
I also know that Uncle Sam didn't close their local buildings today . On the good side, I got out of the driveway late, but made it in ten minutes early.
I also know that Uncle Sam didn't close their local buildings today
. On the good side, I got out of the driveway late, but made it in ten minutes early.