I’m sure lots of you have some weird or funny knife stories. What are they?

My wife and I were out shopping one day a few years ago. As we were walking across a parking lot, a large middle-aged Hispanic lady neither of us had ever seen before walked directly up to me, held out her shoe. and said, "I have a thorn in my sandal." Just assumed I could help, I guess.

A bit bemused, I took the sandal and looked at the sole. Dang! there was a sticker about half an inch in diameter embedded in the sole. The point was sticking through to the other side. I pulled a stockman out of my pocket and used the sheepsfoot blade to dig the sticker out of the sandal. I gave the sandal back to her, she put it on, and walked off without a word. My wife and I looked at each other, shook our heads and continued on into the store.

You did ask for weird knife stories. That's mine.
 
I was at the shooting range once and used my Kershaw whirlwind for something (can’t remember what it was). The cop shooting next to me asked to check it out.

I handed it to him and was just saying “now be careful not to ride the stud…it has assisted opening” Yep, laid his thumb open.

That was weird to me. It was quick, surreal, and bloody. He needed stitches.
 
That reminds me. A girl I was seeing a few years ago wanted to check out my CRKT minimalist, and it needed a somewhat aggressive pull from the sheath. Well, as soon as I handed it to her, I saw her put her thumb firmly onto the sheath, right in the blade path.... And despite a quick "hold on!" from me, she yanked it open, and I just dropped my forehead head into my palm. Yep, opened her thumb right up.
 
David Mary said:
That reminds me. A girl I was seeing a few years ago wanted to check out my CRKT minimalist, and it needed a somewhat aggressive pull from the sheath. Well, as soon as I handed it to her, I saw her put her thumb firmly onto the sheath, right in the blade path.... And despite a quick "hold on!" from me, she yanked it open, and I just dropped my forehead head into my palm. Yep, opened her thumb right up.
Click to expand...
I flinched just reading that.
 
I've told this story before, but it always makes me laugh. Sometimes I think back on it while laying in bed trying to sleep, and I'll start giggling out loud. My wife will look at me like I'm a crazy person.

One afternoon a bunch of friends and I were preparing a 300 pound pig for an Imu, for a high school graduation party for one of my nephews.

After dispatching, we cleaned it up and laid the animal on a pipe rack table. A buddy started opening the belly cavity, but it was obvious his knife wasn't that sharp. Everyone knows I am a knifenut, and told him to use mine. I handed him a standard Griptillian.

The knife opened up the belly like a scalpel, then when he started working into the organs, he hit a fully engorged large intestine.

It exploded warm pig crap like a bomb, and blew into his face and chest. Full soak.

I don't think I have laughed that hard since. Pretty sure I wet my shorts a wee bit myself.
 
When I was a teenager, I took a date to the movies. She dropped her box of milk duds and I volunteered to get them for her. My chivalry was rewarded by a treasure beneath the seat. It was a large Pakistani-made traditional with brass bolsters. The scales had metal shavings set in resin. It would certainly be cheap and gaudy by my standards today but hey, this was back before Blade Forums even existed. I thought it was amazing!

I carried that knife for months. Then one day, I lost it. The knife had been in my coat pocket and I hadn't noticed until I got home. It had been a full day including walking a trail, seeing an early movie, hanging out all over the mall with friends, and finishing at the local diner. So it could have been anywhere.

Then about a week later, a girl in one of my classes said she saw someone with the same "fancy knife" that I had. I knew the guy from shop class. I caught up with him at lunch and he explained. It turns out that I had dropped the knife right where I had found it, during the early show on a Saturday. He had found it just as I had, that same day during the late show. We had a good laugh and I told him to keep it.
 
I was about 12 spending the day with my friend and his mom he had a brother who was a toddler. I was already a knife nut. We went to McDonald’s for lunch.

Pretty crowded restaurant she opens a hamburger wrapper reaches into her purse and pulls out an Italian switchblade. Pops it open cuts the burger in half for the toddler wipes the blade off and puts the knife away.

Nobody even noticed but me. I was blown away. It is a felony here to have a switch blade. I don’t think she even knew.
 
One place I worked we had a tradition of a Friday end of the work week steak dinner. Since we could, a buddy and I decided to eat with a different knife each week for the duration of the contract. Things I learned, Gerber Guardian, not a great steak knife. Anyway, we did this for several weeks until we had gone through most of our respective collections (including what you'd expect, Ka-Bars, Moras, Buck 119, and so on. As we neared the end of the contract we got to the final round of cutlery, not sure which is sillier, a Ka-bar Khukri or a Paul Chen Practical Katana (well, he had more trouble with elbow room, and no one wanted to be directly across the table). All in good fun. I find the best non-injury stories involve food. Like the time I made a couple dozen sandwiches at short notice using a Vic rucksack (that extra blade is handy for slicing buns) or when my dad took apart a watermelon with an OG leatherman. Tool ya got and all that.
 
I was prepping the Christmas Turkey for the oven. I had my wife’s favorite (freshly sharpened) butcher knife. I trimmed the butt… cut some neck…. Trimmed some extra skin…. My wife walked to the sink and said, “Wow! That’s a fresh Turkey! Look at all the blood!” After close inspection I cut off the tip of my thumb. Not a slice, a chunk! I’d say a good 1/4”! It was scary at first. I cleaned up my thumb and the chunk. Then super glued them back together.
 
This isn't weird but in a way it is... over the course of one summer while working a FS trail crew, I found five Swiss Army knives. Buy the time I found the third, the rest of the crew was calling foul. I kept two (the second went to my sweetie at the time) and split the rest among the crew. One of the knives had just melted out of the snow pack and was off the trail...
 
Mine are relayed by customers:

The local small animal Vet was a good customer. Worked out well for both of us as we had the bestest pet dog ever but she was needing of his services often. She was a nine time cancer survivor. We would often trade knives for his services. He went hunting one time with a buddy, also a customer somewhere in northern NV. They get to camp both wearing my knives and the guide comes walking out to greet them also wearing one of my knives.

Off duty deputy sheriff is walking around the Walmart in Billings MT. After a while he realizes a guy is following him. He goes to a couple of different areas in the store he didn't need to and yeah the guy is still following him. He turns around and asks the guy: "Is there something I can help you with?" The guy asks to see his knife and sheath. Says' thats the coolest thing I've ever seen.

Nother MT story. A guy calls and says I was at a big branding here in MT. Had 10 ropers in each group and we did several hundred head over a couple of days. Pretty soon I realized I was the only one in my group that wasn't wearing one of your knives. I'd like to order a Buckaroo model,

Number one reason a guy loses one of my knives? He's using it and sets it down on the tailgate or the bumper of the truck and then forgets and drives off. Heard this one a bunch of times.
 
Not quite a knife story, since it was actually a scalpel, but still a blade, right? Back in high school, we were dissecting fetal pigs in biology class. Friend of mine had his hands in the guts when he cut his finger. What do you do when you cut your finger? Yep, right from the pig guts into his mouth.🤢
 
I've told this one a couple of times before, so I'll try to stick to the short version here. This past summer while camping by the creek I took an early morning walk down a nearby trail to a waterfall. On my way back I decided to sit on a log by the creek and soak in the scenery for a bit. While sitting there, I took my knife out and stuck it in the log for a quick picture. A bit afterwards, I decided to get up and go back to camp, and when I did, my phone fell out of my pocket into the swiftly running water. It took about 5 minutes or so, but I was finally able to locate and save my phone. However when I did a quick pocket check before heading on my way, to my dread, I realized my knife was also missing 😨! I searched and searched for a half our or so but couldn't find it. Finally, I sat back down on the log in despair, contemplating my loss. I look to my right, and what do I see?...






🤣 🤣 🤣
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