I’m sure lots of you have some weird or funny knife stories. What are they?

My dad was busy cleaning fish at the boat club after a good day's fishing. While cleaning the fish, this one guy who had too many beers for the day was constantly insulting my dad's method of cleaning fish. My dad had enough and pointed the knife at him and told him "Listen here, I'm a doctor, so I know exactly where to stick this knife to hurt you, so can you please stop insulting me?“ the guy promptly shut up and they have since become friends.

After sharpening my girlfriend's mom's kitchen knives, myself and my girlfriend left her mom to make supper for us. Not long after we left the kitchen, her mom came back with a fresh cut on her finger, blood running down her finger with a great big smile on her face. I felt very bad, but she was happy, I couldn't understand why, turns out her knives have never been sharp enough to cut her fingers and she was happy at how sharp they now were after decades of being blunt. In total, she cut herself three times that night, each time coming to us with a big smile on her face, appreciating (and now respecting) her sharp knives.

One time I had hired some labourers for some work in a fairly remote place. When I got to the job site, I found out one of the labourers I had hired was a gang member. I found this out after spotting his gang tattoos that I hadn't noticed when I had hired him. I didn't want to discriminate based on tattoos, so didn't fire him right there. However, after finding this out, I was very aware of his actions during the day's work. When lunchtime came, I got in the car to grab my lunch, turned around and saw him looking at me with a knife in his hand. It was an Okapi, which is a notorious knife used in criminal activities here in South Africa, so I was pretty stressed out. He takes his knife, uses it to open up a bag of biscuits and hands one to me and says "Do you want a cookie sir?". Needless to say my stress levels dropped and all was well. He turned out to be a very good worker. I enjoyed having him on my team. Very nice guy.
 
Politically correct junior college class party a couple of years ago. The professor and I were old and old school. When it was apparent that people had failed to bring knives to cut the food, we both drew our knives. Imagine a 18 year old progressive seeing an old guy drawing a plain edge Spyderco Police Model in class!
 
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