I’m sure lots of you have some weird or funny knife stories. What are they?

One of the kids from my neighborhood was given an ASEK knife. We called them nut knives.

His uncle who gave it to him was a VN vet. He told my friend a knife like that was good for combat and opening cans of beans.

So he was confidently saying that it would open a can. My other friend called BS no way you can use a knife to open a can the can is too tough. After a brief argument. He slaps a can of cat food down on his mother’s coffee table and says prove it!

My friend had never done it and really wasn’t sure it could be done. Failure was not an option. So he winds up and stabs that can with all his might and buried it up to the hilt through both sides of the can and through the coffee table!

His mother was not amused.
 
One evening, almost 40 years ago, while loading a salad plate at a Ken's Pizza, a cop walked over and told me that I had to remove my knife. I asked him why, and he said that it was illegal. I told him that it was a single-edged blade, less than six inches in length, and it was not concealed, I could carry it anywhere I wanted. He looked at me kind of funny, and asked me how I knew that? Told him, "because I called downtown and checked the law, maybe you should try that." Then he said I should still take it off, as it made people nervous. I said, 'then maybe they should stay home.' He walked off, shaking his head, and I finished making my salad, sat down, and ate my dinner in peace.

I should mention, I respect cops, but I don't roll over for them. Having been arrested for bank robbery, and having Dept. issued S&W .357 Magnums stuck in my ear and my back, I am still here. Cuz when the Man said 'Put your hands up!" I put my damn hands up! But, on the way downtown, it was a yelling match between the front seat and the back seat. Not sure who told who to shut up more times, but by the time we got to the station, the yelling had stopped, and they were beginning to believe that I really was the victim of identity theft, and probably not the guy they thought they were taking down.... Not really knife related, but they DID take my knife before putting me in the back of the patrol car!
 
eveled said:
I carried a SAK everyday and never got caught.

We had sort of a last day of school ritual. We all went to the office and the principle would open a huge safe. Then he’d hand out envelopes with the knives he had confiscated from my friends during the year.

The thing that caught my attention was all the envelopes that were still left from previous years.
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I have to say, I was hoping for a part of the story where the principal called you and a few other kids to the office, hands everyone back their envelopes, and you open yours with the SAK... 😇
 
I thought of another story that I look back on with humor.

I was a bit of a hustler when I was a kid, selling all kinds of stuff to make money. My mom had a box of cheap steak knives, she got them for free from somewhere, I don't know, but they were abandoned in the back of a cupboard.

The knives had green plastic handles, and those slip-on cardboard "sheaths". I took them to school (6th grade, 1981) and told the other boys that they were "military survival knives", from military survival kits. They sold fast, I ran out in a day. I think I sold them for a buck a piece. My classmates were happy, I was happy, I made some good money that day. Not one of the kids ever came back and said "Hey, you sold me a steak knife!". And I'm still surprised that I never heard from any of their parents.
 
storyofmyknife said:
This is what my high school was like last year. All the teachers knew many of us carried knives (it’s a small school) but didn’t care. You could literally use a knife during class or let a teacher use it and no one cared. Then one kid was goofing off with his mall ninja knife and now they’ve cracked down on the rules. It was nice while it lasted though.
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Quiet kid: pulls out Cold Steel Espada XL.
 
storyofmyknife said:
This is what my high school was like last year. All the teachers knew many of us carried knives (it’s a small school) but didn’t care. You could literally use a knife during class or let a teacher use it and no one cared. Then one kid was goofing off with his mall ninja knife and now they’ve cracked down on the rules. It was nice while it lasted though.
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If I liked knives earlier when I was in high school, this would be my mall ninja knife of choice.

 
Chronovore said:
When I was a teenager, I took a date to the movies. She dropped her box of milk duds and I volunteered to get them for her. My chivalry was rewarded by a treasure beneath the seat. It was a large Pakistani-made traditional with brass bolsters. The scales had metal shavings set in resin. It would certainly be cheap and gaudy by my standards today but hey, this was back before Blade Forums even existed. I thought it was amazing!

I carried that knife for months. Then one day, I lost it. The knife had been in my coat pocket and I hadn't noticed until I got home. It had been a full day including walking a trail, seeing an early movie, hanging out all over the mall with friends, and finishing at the local diner. So it could have been anywhere.

Then about a week later, a girl in one of my classes said she saw someone with the same "fancy knife" that I had. I knew the guy from shop class. I caught up with him at lunch and he explained. It turns out that I had dropped the knife right where I had found it, during the early show on a Saturday. He had found it just as I had, that same day during the late show. We had a good laugh and I told him to keep it.
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Love stories like that.
 
A classmate in high school liked knives and military memorabilia. He brought a Gerber dagger (MK I, II ?) and one of those German WW2 daggers to school to show me. He was a bit of a nut case. One time he put a few thumb tacks on the seat of his desk and knelt on them with his knee. Just because ... ??? I think he had more Nazi stuff he brought. Weird guy.

SS2.jpg
 
USMCPOP said:
One time he put a few thumb tacks on the seat of his desk and knelt on them with his knee. Just because ... ???
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Maybe mom and dad weren't giving him enough attention and positive reinforcement at home...?
 
AntDog said:
I was at the shooting range once and used my Kershaw whirlwind for something (can’t remember what it was). The cop shooting next to me asked to check it out.

I handed it to him and was just saying “now be careful not to ride the stud…it has assisted opening” Yep, laid his thumb open.

That was weird to me. It was quick, surreal, and bloody. He needed stitches.
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Wait, how did it happen, was he opening it two-handed, or one? I'm having a hard time picturing it one handed, though "riding the stud" seems self explanitory.
 
Hashishiin said:
Wait, how did it happen, was he opening it two-handed, or one? I'm having a hard time picturing it one handed, though "riding the stud" seems self explanitory.
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One handed. He barely pushed on the stud and the knife clacked open all the way (assisted opening). He kept pushing with his thumb expecting to have to push the blade all the way open. Since the blade was already open, his thumb slid right up the edge and laid open.
 
AntDog said:
One handed. He barely pushed on the stud and the knife clacked open all the way (assisted opening). He kept pushing with his thumb expecting to have to push the blade all the way open. Since the blade was already open, his thumb slid right up the edge and laid open.
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Every once in a great while, I'll biff the opening on a manual with thumb studs. It's usually with a new knife or one I haven't carried in a while. I'll end up flicking it out halfway with part of my thumb landing on the side of the blade. It never caused an issue but having thumb meat overlap with the edge gives me the willies.

This sounds like an opposite kind of problem and he got more than the willies. 😯
 
River fishing with my grandfather, sitting in a john boat drifting, he was baiting a big treble hook and got distracted. Two of the three barbs disappeared in the palm of his hand. Pulling them out wasn’t an option.

He was talking about something I don’t remember what. Without missing a beat, he pulled out a slip joint and carved a deep divot into his palm. The hook and a big chunk of skin fell to the bottom of the boat.

My grandfather pulled out a plug of Redman, slapped it in the hole and resumed fishing, never stopped talking, about baseball I think.
 
Those old fellers grabbed tough by the throat...
...and never let go!
 
I thought I had lost a Pacific Cutlery (pre-Benchmade) Tanto. It was my favorite knife at the time and I used it regularly. About 8 years later I found the knife in a plastic tool box I had used for camping gear on several camping trips. Glad to see the knife again, but unfortunately it had several spots of rust on the blade. I have tried to buff out the rust, but there is still discoloration. Oh well, it was and is a user.
 
Growing up, I remember my father always buying us cheap knives from gas stations. Amazingly, none of us got seriously hurt.

Well, he must have gotten tired of replacing them, as he eventually bought my older brother a buck 110. Mind you, I was 7 and my brother 9 at this point. I recall that lock back button being so hard to push in, that we would kneel next to the couch, use both thumbs to actuate the lock, and start retracting the blade by pushing the spine against the couch cushion. Once it had started to close, we could move our thumbs out of the way and fully close the blade.

Different times, haha. I would not let my 5 year old run around with pocket knives, lighters, bb guns and fire works like I did growing up. Am I creating a generation of pansies? Probably, but I don't think the neighbors would hesitate to call the gestapo these days either.
 
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