I’m sure lots of you have some weird or funny knife stories. What are they?

Somewhere in a drainage ditch in North Frisco, TX, there is a perfectly fine H1 Spyderco Salt.
When I first started dating my fiancé, I’d always park across the street and down the corner, to not disrupt traffic. Always in front of a storm drain (dumb thing to do). One day I noticed I had lost my Spydie, and starting racking my brain as to where it would be, as I am very good about keeping tabs on this stuff.
I realized after a few hours of searching that I had taken it out of my pocket and set it on my leg as I waited for her to get ready, so the logical thing is that I forgot and when I opened the door and got out….it slid...right into… the drain. I tried to remove the manhole cover but we didn’t have the right kind of key for it. I could just barely see it hanging on the precipice of a drop off in the drain about 6 ft under the grate.
For the next three weeks, I tried over and over to retrieve it. I tried bubble gum on sticks, fishing poles, I even tried to convince her little sister to climb into the drain hole. But alas, I could not get to it. It sat there, day after day, taunting me relentlessly.

Then it stormed. Thousands of gallons of rushing rainwater washed it away. I’m still haunted by the thought. Somewhere, some day, a drain technician, or homeless person, or urban explorer is going to find it, and I just hope they give it a good home.
 
shane45-1911 said:
Where's Stahlman when you need him???

I seem to remember something about a baseball stadium, an irate Karen, and a bromance with the stadium security guard.
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That sounds like the start to an EPIC story! 🤣
 
This is the closest to a "funny" knife story I have-

I visited a 7-11 near my house one evening. I went there once in awhile. There was this streetwise kid about 11-12 years old that hung out in the parking lot selling candy bars from a box. Sometimes I'd buy one or two, so we were familiar with each other.

Now picture a biker clad in black leather wearing a cap-style helmet and riding a big black rumbling cruiser (me). I walk out of the 7-11, the kid sees me, comes up to me, I decline the candy, but on this occasion he notices the Al Mar SERE Operator fixed-blade I was carrying on my belt. He had never noticed it before (all black knife and sheath on all black clothing).

He asks me "Is THAT a knife?"

I answered "Yeah."

He asked "Why do you carry a knife?"

Without skipping a beat I replied "In case I run out of bullets."

He just stood there, eyes wide, mouth hanging open, not saying a word. And without another word I swung my leg over my bike, fired it up, and rode off into the night.
 
What kind of bike were you riding?
(I rode the street for 40 years...)
 
Bob Denman said:
What kind of bike were you riding?
(I rode the street for 40 years...)
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Honda Shadow Sabre 1100. With aftermarket pipes.

35+ years for me. Started at 16. Never owned a 4 wheeled vehicle. Been riding the Sabre since 2003. Still going strong.

EDIT for clarification- My Sabre is the Shadow 1100cc model (2000-2007), not the earlier V4, or the more recent 1300cc model. ;)
 
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Funny knife story

I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Thailand back in 1977-1979, then got a job helping process war refugees from Laos and Cambodia. I had worked with an old Thai farmer/blacksmith and really appreciated the hand-forged knives and machetes.
One time I bought a nice Hmong hilltribe knife in a refugee camp. My wife and I took an overnight bus back to Bangkok. We had one small bag with our clothing and a Bowie-like knife with maybe a 10" blade.

It was during a period where the military ran the country. The bus was stopped at a checkpoint in the wee hours - cops or soldiers I don't recall. Men had to get off and they went around in the bus looking for whatever. An official asked my wife where the foreigner's bag was and she pointed to the overhead rack.

They searched the bag and came out holding the knife. They confronted me for having a "weapon" and made a real fuss. I told them in my best Thai that it was no big damn deal, all the farmers and such have big knives, and I happen to like collecting them. We went back and forth but they finally relented and gave up. Probably helped that I had an official ID, as I worked in conjunction with the U.S. Embassy/State Department.

They gave the knife to the bus stewardess for safekeeping. She scolded me for not checking a weapon upon boarding. I probably could have carried an illegal handgun if I'd checked it. I caused a 5 or 10 minute delay in the journey. But the funny part was that in our shared bag, there were lady's undergarments. No mention of that and my wife never let on that she knew me or that it was our bag. I still chuckle at that.
 
Sabres are su-WEET!!
That V-4 pulls like a freight train on steroids.
My cruisers were just Yammie V-Stars (2000 & 2002). I usually had either touring rigs, or something unusual and funky!
 
Knives&Lint said:
... I searched and searched for a half our or so but couldn't find it. Finally, I sat back down on the log in despair, contemplating my loss. I look to my right, and what do I see?...
🤣 🤣 🤣
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Don't feel bad. As a kid, I misplaced my new-to-me glasses. I was fuming as I stomped around the house looking. Then my sister asked if I was looking for the glasses I was wearing. Dang.
 
I was in a McDonald's one morning when a bunch of bikes pulled up, a local BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse, a worthy cause) group on their way to speak to a new client. One of the guys, around 6'4" and not gangly, got off of a brand new dresser, wearing about $1500 worth of brand new Harley leathers and boots. Stylin, he was! Scary, even, especially with that $19.95 pawn shop special Original Survival Knife on his belt! Yeah, the one with the bottle-opener on the blade, and the ball-compass the size of a shift knob in a '72 Pinto! I was SOOooooo jealous!!! Before they even got to the counter I asked him if he'd trade me for a fairly new Buck 110. He looked kind of suspicious, and thought about it(?) for a minute, then agreed. All I heard was his buddies laughing after I said thanks, and tossed it in the trash on my way out the door......
 
justjed said:
(Bikers Against Child Abuse, a worthy cause) ... One of the guys ... with that $19.95 pawn shop special Original Survival Knife on his belt! ... I asked him if he'd trade me for a fairly new Buck 110. He looked kind of suspicious, and thought about it(?) for a minute, then agreed. All I heard was his buddies laughing after I said thanks, and tossed it in the trash on my way out the door......
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One good turn deserves another!
 
I was out on a Prairie base training and there were a lot of coyotes howling around the battalion perimeter at night, dozens more than I have ever heard at one time. I figured they came across a dead cow or they were pissed because we were camping in their favourite spot. I was sleep deprived and not on watch, so I went to sleep. I had a keener cadet as a fire team partner, who was attached to the unit as a reward/recruitment. In the morning I found him sleeping outside the tent, shivering. I vaguely remember him coming into the tent a bit shaken, telling me that the coyotes were all around us, and asking what to do. I don't remember taking my Ka-Bar off my webbing (I was using as a pillow), holding it on my chest, and mumbling "bad puppies", before going back to sleep.
 
I had a long walk home from middle school.

I think it was about 2.5 miles on the street.

But there was a straight path along a freight rail track. You’d see a train once a month.

So a group of us would walk that way it was pretty woodsy and went right past the town dump. So there was plenty of knife stuff to do on the way home.

I carried a SAK everyday and never got caught.

We had sort of a last day of school ritual. We all went to the office and the principle would open a huge safe. Then he’d hand out envelopes with the knives he had confiscated from my friends during the year.

The thing that caught my attention was all the envelopes that were still left from previous years.
 
Not my deed, but here's one a few years ago. I was with my parents. A stranger's shoelace got stuck in an escalator. Nothing serious, wasn't an emergency or anything. Dad politely asked if she needed help. After the stranger said yes, Dad efficiently used his karambit to cut the shoelace.

Fairly uneventful story, but it taught me two important things for minimizing negative reactions from non-knife folks: politeness and discretion. Ask them first if they need help. If they say yes, use the knife without undue machismo. It's not the knife that makes you macho, it's helping others.
 
I had the same thing happen to my daughter at the mall. Shoe lace stuck in an escalator her screaming my wife pulling her arm. The lace pulling tighter and tighter. I turned around pulled my Buck 110 flicking it open just as the lace broke.


Later my son told her it was a good thing the lace broke. Dad was just about to cut your foot off!
 
TheEdge01 said:
When I was in college, one of the professors asked the class if anyone had a knife that she could borrow. She freaked out a little when over half of the class raised their hand.
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This is what my high school was like last year. All the teachers knew many of us carried knives (it’s a small school) but didn’t care. You could literally use a knife during class or let a teacher use it and no one cared. Then one kid was goofing off with his mall ninja knife and now they’ve cracked down on the rules. It was nice while it lasted though.
 
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