I messed up with my woman...

Couple thoughts.

First - how old are you? This sounds like highschool/college BS. It may suck to go through this now but, to throw a little cold water on you, unless you guys were talking marriage already the odds are pretty good this relationship was going to end at some point anyway.

Second - you shouldn't be sending sexually explicit stuff to your female friend and she shouldn't be going through your phone. You're both dumbasses.

Third - The girl you were texting is "one of my best friends" and she's immediately history, you're never going to talk to her again? That's some weak sauce. I wouldn't ditch a close friend over an upset girlfriend.

Fourth - This
Todays relationships are nothing like those of your grandparents or even your parents, they are more like hook-ups and "finding true love" is basically a thing of the past.
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is pure horseshit and says more about the poster than anything else. Hopefully he grows up before he gets some poor dumb girl he doesn't love pregnant and/or gets herpes.

You don't sound like you're ready for a serious relationship. That's fine - not sure you old you are, but I definitely wasn't when I was in my early 20s and I dated plenty of girls who also weren't ready to commit. Also sounds like this girl was either rightfully suspicious of you or wanted to find a reason to break it off. Time to move on and find someone new. But don't ditch your "best friend" and grovel. That's not the basis for a solid, lasting relationship. Do the right thing from the beginning and be a man you can be proud of.
 
Burke said:
You don't sound like you're ready for a serious relationship. That's fine - not sure you old you are, but I definitely wasn't when I was in my early 20s and I dated plenty of girls who also weren't ready to commit. Also sounds like this girl was either rightfully suspicious of you or wanted to find a reason to break it off. Time to move on and find someone new. But don't ditch your "best friend" and grovel. That's not the basis for a solid, lasting relationship. Do the right thing from the beginning and be a man you can be proud of.
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This is good, solid advice. :thumbup:
 
Burke said:
You don't sound like you're ready for a serious relationship. That's fine - not sure you old you are, but I definitely wasn't when I was in my early 20s and I dated plenty of girls who also weren't ready to commit. Also sounds like this girl was either rightfully suspicious of you or wanted to find a reason to break it off. Time to move on and find someone new. But don't ditch your "best friend" and grovel. That's not the basis for a solid, lasting relationship. Do the right thing from the beginning and be a man you can be proud of.
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If you love something, Set it free... If it comes back, it's yours, If it doesn't, it never was yours
 
So just for reference I am in my early twenties. I will preface this by saying I am in a 2.5 year relationship and the last year has been long distance. We are also planning to be engaged, although waiting to live in the same state. It sounds like you are in a less COMMITTED relationship, however that does not make it any less SERIOUS. If you are with a girl, you are with a girl. Don't grovel at her feet everyday for the next week, but show her you still care by keeping contact. I will say that I had a similar experience with my last girlfriend and here is what I learned...

Women are FAR more emotional then men. Trust is easily broken, and can only slowly be rebuilt, and that trust is worth it whether you guys decide to continue dating or not. No, you don't want to be her best friend if you break up, but don't pretend she doesn't exist either. Its not EASY but its RIGHT.

Now as for having other friends who are girls while you are dating, I say to you once, and I say twice, TREAD LIGHTLY. It can and should be done, you need that balance of friends in your life. However, these things are much easier when trust is stronger. So I'm saying you shouldn't "not be this other girls friend" However your interactions with her should drastically change.

I guess I'm very middle of the road, but I hope some of this speaks to you. Best of luck brother.
Tony
 
I am also only 25, got married when I was 22. I love my wife with everything I have, and anyone who says true love isn't real changes their mind when they are around my wife and I. It does exist if you let God set you up with the right person. My marriage is extremely strong despite the fact we have only spent 16 month in the same zip code due to the Army and her school. We have a beautiful baby boy and couldn't be happier. True love can happen, and if you give it time and trust God, it will happen.

As far as your current situation, respect her wishes, if she asks for space, give her space.
 
She betrayed your trust by sneaking behind your back, you had an inappropriate non physical ONE way conversation with a long time friend who would probably give you a ton of grief for it. Don't beat yourself up. Time to move on. You now can move up to the next level.
 
This August my wife and I will have been married for three years, how can I tell this story easier...well the February before we got married we decided that we needed some time apart, we had ALOT of stress in our lives at the time due to family troubles, but that we would still keep in contact, phone calls, emails, and IM's and I moved out. We talked everyday and night, she always called first and that was how it was until her 21st birthday, I sent her some flowers and a card and an ecard to her phone, I didn't get a call from her during the day or at the usual time at night, so I figured I would give her a call. It took a few times before she finally picked up, everything was normal, I wished her a happy birthday and had normal conversation and that was that. A couple weeks later I got a new job and bought a new car and called her up to see if she wanted to go for a ride, she said yes and I went over to her place, well we didn't go for a ride in my car for a few hours after I got there if you catch my drift. Everything was great, at the end of June I asked her to marry me and she said yes and that August we got married...then she confessed. While we were separated I was totally 100% faithful to her, I had my chances I really did but loved her and wanted to be only with her, she on the other hand wasn't, that night on her birthday when I had to call her she was with some dude. And the most fucked up thing about it is that they hadn't done anything until after I called her, he was sitting there for a whole hour before they had sex, and she had the audacity to say she loved me before we hung up. Now how screwed up is that? And that she was still talking to the guy, well I put a stop to that. To this day I still can't get over her actions and to some degree regret not getting a divorce. I still don't trust her, because she's one of those bull headed women that think they can do whatever they want and not have any repercussions come back to them, but she has the balls to ask me if I'm cheating on her whenever our anniversary is around the corner and dosen't realize why I'm upset.

I applaud her for checking your phone, she probably dodged a bullet by finding out now than later when you actually put words into motion and had sex with your friend. You just want sympathy for your stupidity, if you really love this girl you would have never even started sexting with your friend.
 
Bumppo said:
She betrayed your trust by sneaking behind your back, you had an inappropriate non physical ONE way conversation with a long time friend who would probably give you a ton of grief for it. Don't beat yourself up. Time to move on. You now can move up to the next level.
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Umm i don't know where you are getting this info from but you sure do seem to be filling in blanks as you see fit.........and honestly I'm not sure how looking at you gfs/bfs text messages is "betraying trust by sneaking behind her back"??? How do you know it was a ONE way thing? it was a conversation...that involves 2 people.... and why do you think this friend would give him grief for what he said, she could have been participating as well. and how is this behavior appropriate at all? he was dating someone else....
 
Hmm.... I'd be pissed still from her touching my phone.... But my phone can't be "sneaked on to" password and after 10 failed attempts it wipes the phone ;)
 
To everyone who took the time to reply, thank you, to those accusations of my being an idiot, you are correct.

It is over.
 
Sorry to here this, but it is probably for their best. The relationship would never have returned to the way it was. It would be hanging over her and would create problems in the future. You would have one good relationship with a friend and a broken one with your partner. You are far more likely to lose both relationships if you got back together. She wasn't as invested in the relationship as you so it seems. There's millions of women out there; chances are there are better out there for you.
 
you lost her trust because you were playing with another girl... whether or not there was physical contact is a non-point. I have always told friends that it isn't what YOU think cheating is...it is what your significant other thinks cheating is. And we have the answer on what yours considers cheating.

good luck.
 
viva la said:
you lost her trust because you were playing with another girl... whether or not there was physical contact is a non-point. I have always told friends that it isn't what YOU think cheating is...it is what your significant other thinks cheating is. And we have the answer on what yours considers cheating.
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Very very true. Sorry to hear things didn't work out, but consider this a lesson and move on. And I also agree that once there is a big break in trust, things may not ever be the same again, so don't force it.
 
"Ranger" I can see where it might seem some blanks were filled in, I should have been more clear and more sensitive to what you are going through. My apologies. Clarifying at this point might just flame the issue, and that would be even more disruptive. There is no intention to add anything negative to your situation.
 
Thanks guys... Id be lying if I said I wasn't really torn up about this, and that this is probably one of the biggest mistakes of my life...
 
There's always someone out there that will turn things around for you. I got out of a relation this spring and of course it seemed like the end of the world, for a few weeks. My ex told me I'd never find anyone nearly as great. Went on a online dating site and had a lot of guys message me. None seemed worthwhile, so I didn't bother with them. Suddenly one messaged me and I liked his looks and profile. We started out talking on the phone and emailing. Within a week we had met and went out to eat. Long story short he treats me 100% better than my ex ever thought of and we get along much better. My ex has tried to have some contact with me, lately and I've told him about my new boyfriend. He is clearly upset that I'm not suffering without him.:) So, bottom line is you may just have to move on. Take what you learned with you and don't repeat it!
 
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