I messed up with my woman...

[akthor]

Well it is my opinion that no matter what you were doing whether appropriate or not the fact that she invaded your privacy and YOUR trust by looking in your phone behind your back is a HUGE red flag. If she has self esteem and trust issues at this stage of your relationship it is a bigger problem than some sexting with a friend on your phone.

Put this issue of what you did being wrong aside. Do you want to be with someone who doesn't trust you? And like others have pointed out if she didn't trust you before do you think she will ever now?

I was married for 13yrs to a woman with self esteeem and trust issues. I never gave her a reason to distrust me as you have your girlfriend now. And after 13yrs the constant jealousy just became too much and I left. It got to the point where I couldn't go anywhere or do anything without constant barrages of cell phone calls as to where I was and what I was doing. Even at work since I had female co-workers she would call constantly to check up on me. You would think I was Brad Pitt and women were throwing themselves at me, lol I look more like John Goodman and am invisible to women.

So just another thing to consider.

 

[mjn]

Also stop drinking. That only postpones dealing with the issue and getting past it.

 

[Doc13]

Thanks guys... Id be lying if I said I wasn't really torn up about this, and that this is probably one of the biggest mistakes of my life...

Bah, you'll get over it. Learn from your mistakes and move on. For future reference, don't say or do anything behind your significant others back, that you both wouldn't be comfortable saying or doing in front of eachother.

This August my wife and I will have been married for three years, how can I tell this story easier...well the February before we got married we decided that we needed some time apart, we had ALOT of stress in our lives at the time due to family troubles, but that we would still keep in contact, phone calls, emails, and IM's and I moved out. We talked everyday and night, she always called first and that was how it was until her 21st birthday, I sent her some flowers and a card and an ecard to her phone, I didn't get a call from her during the day or at the usual time at night, so I figured I would give her a call. It took a few times before she finally picked up, everything was normal, I wished her a happy birthday and had normal conversation and that was that. A couple weeks later I got a new job and bought a new car and called her up to see if she wanted to go for a ride, she said yes and I went over to her place, well we didn't go for a ride in my car for a few hours after I got there if you catch my drift. Everything was great, at the end of June I asked her to marry me and she said yes and that August we got married...then she confessed. While we were separated I was totally 100% faithful to her, I had my chances I really did but loved her and wanted to be only with her, she on the other hand wasn't, that night on her birthday when I had to call her she was with some dude. And the most fucked up thing about it is that they hadn't done anything until after I called her, he was sitting there for a whole hour before they had sex, and she had the audacity to say she loved me before we hung up. Now how screwed up is that? And that she was still talking to the guy, well I put a stop to that. To this day I still can't get over her actions and to some degree regret not getting a divorce. I still don't trust her, because she's one of those bull headed women that think they can do whatever they want and not have any repercussions come back to them, but she has the balls to ask me if I'm cheating on her whenever our anniversary is around the corner and dosen't realize why I'm upset.

I applaud her for checking your phone, she probably dodged a bullet by finding out now than later when you actually put words into motion and had sex with your friend. You just want sympathy for your stupidity, if you really love this girl you would have never even started sexting with your friend.

Chloesdada, man, that's some tough stuff. Keep your head up brother.