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In Memorium - Bill Martino and Rusty Slate
- Thread starter Howard Wallace
- Start date
- Joined
- Nov 27, 2001
- Messages
- 1,780
selected from a series of emails from Uncle Bill encouraging me to come to India:
"I'm sorry to hear of your problems. Remember that everything is karma.
I don't see Jigme very much these days but I'll try to contact him and see if
he can do a puja. He can't change karma, tho.
It's bedtime. I have early AM appointment to see if infection is gone.
Sorry I'm so abrupt. Not very strong these days."
"Still not dead and won't be until death day arrives. I'm not worried about
any of this and don't wany you to worry, either.
Take care of yourself and get to India. It will change your life for the
better forever."
"OK. Hang in and soak up the culture and events. This is a time you will
never forget so try to make it as pleasing as possible."
"I'm hanging in -- barely. Health still major problem. All karma.
HI is doing okay. And, hope you are, too.
Stay in touch as best you can. If you need a couple of hundred bucks let me
know and I'll send it."
"I'm sorry to hear of your problems. Remember that everything is karma.
I don't see Jigme very much these days but I'll try to contact him and see if
he can do a puja. He can't change karma, tho.
It's bedtime. I have early AM appointment to see if infection is gone.
Sorry I'm so abrupt. Not very strong these days."
"Still not dead and won't be until death day arrives. I'm not worried about
any of this and don't wany you to worry, either.
Take care of yourself and get to India. It will change your life for the
better forever."
"OK. Hang in and soak up the culture and events. This is a time you will
never forget so try to make it as pleasing as possible."
"I'm hanging in -- barely. Health still major problem. All karma.
HI is doing okay. And, hope you are, too.
Stay in touch as best you can. If you need a couple of hundred bucks let me
know and I'll send it."
- Joined
- Dec 1, 1999
- Messages
- 651
I remember when I got intoduced to this wonderful group. It was in November of 1999. I ordered a 20" Sirupati from Uncle Bill.......for my Christmas present to myself. I called, and Uncle Bill and I talked for almost an hour!! 
He mentioned that he will send the Sirupati asap.... I asked about the payment....he said that I should look the blade over first and I can mail the check later on ! I was very much surprised.
Till this day...I use this special Sirupati to measure both of my two son's growth. Some of the core members will remember the pictures.
I mentioned to Uncle that I did various testing with all my blades using tatami rolls and chunks of meat. He was surprised and asked if I can test out the H.I. Katana. I jumped at this chance.....the sword did perform!!
The last time that I was able to talk to Uncle Bill was last year. I asked him what type of Khukuri should I bring to Iraq to use in my new job as a military contractor (merc). He mentioned that he will send me the surprise. Whne the package came....it was the awesome M43! My co-workers were amazed.
I wish I was able to see Uncle Bill before all of this happend. He wanted to see how my son's have grown....and my new little one.
We will all miss you Uncle Bill !
He mentioned that he will send the Sirupati asap.... I asked about the payment....he said that I should look the blade over first and I can mail the check later on ! I was very much surprised.Till this day...I use this special Sirupati to measure both of my two son's growth. Some of the core members will remember the pictures.
I mentioned to Uncle that I did various testing with all my blades using tatami rolls and chunks of meat. He was surprised and asked if I can test out the H.I. Katana. I jumped at this chance.....the sword did perform!!
The last time that I was able to talk to Uncle Bill was last year. I asked him what type of Khukuri should I bring to Iraq to use in my new job as a military contractor (merc). He mentioned that he will send me the surprise. Whne the package came....it was the awesome M43! My co-workers were amazed.
I wish I was able to see Uncle Bill before all of this happend. He wanted to see how my son's have grown....and my new little one.
We will all miss you Uncle Bill !
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2002
- Messages
- 1,104
A while back I was beginning to have doubts. Doubts about things like compassion and generosity.
Bah, what has the pursuit of these things gotten you? A hard kick to the face that's what. Look at the people you work with for example, they don't seem to have any moral difficulty in stomping on human dignity or spreading misery to the innocent.
I stumbled across this forum and heard what Uncle Bill had done in his lifetime.
A man who didn't seem to care about driving a BMW M3 or wearing Armani.
A man who tried to do his little bit in this world.
What an inspiration.
How I wish I could have stumbled upon this forum alot earlier.
How I wish I wrote that letter... asking his thoughts on a few subjects.
I feel selfish for wanting those things.
Bah, what has the pursuit of these things gotten you? A hard kick to the face that's what. Look at the people you work with for example, they don't seem to have any moral difficulty in stomping on human dignity or spreading misery to the innocent.
I stumbled across this forum and heard what Uncle Bill had done in his lifetime.
A man who didn't seem to care about driving a BMW M3 or wearing Armani.
A man who tried to do his little bit in this world.
What an inspiration.
How I wish I could have stumbled upon this forum alot earlier.
How I wish I wrote that letter... asking his thoughts on a few subjects.
I feel selfish for wanting those things.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2003
- Messages
- 4,793
Dave, I know exactly what you mean. I think that's probably one of the reasons we both shark so much, in an effort to make up for lost time! Imagine being able to take your time like Broken Arrow and Howard Wallace and others, talking to Uncle Bill on the phone, really getting to know him and HI, discussing each purchase in detail, and paying when you can!
At least we got here when we did, and can always be thankful for that.
Regards,
Norm
Imagine being able to take your time like Broken Arrow and Howard Wallace and others, talking to Uncle Bill on the phone, really getting to know him and HI, discussing each purchase in detail, and paying when you can!At least we got here when we did, and can always be thankful for that.
Regards,
Norm
I wish I could say more but I never met him.
I first "met" Rusty on the Knifeforums. He was helpful and new about small arms as well as khukuries. He talked straight. He has my respect.
I "spoke via email" a few times. I never say much on the forums. It is too difficult for me to open up.
I spoke quite allot with Uncle Bill and he helped more than I care to discuss right now.
Rusty was kind, and fair. Rusty was a person who took interest in people and always wanted to be of help.
Rusty would not put up with sh*t.
I hope we can carry on in the same tradition with Rusty and Uncle Bill gone.
Rusty was a MAN I will miss.
I first "met" Rusty on the Knifeforums. He was helpful and new about small arms as well as khukuries. He talked straight. He has my respect.
I "spoke via email" a few times. I never say much on the forums. It is too difficult for me to open up.
I spoke quite allot with Uncle Bill and he helped more than I care to discuss right now.
Rusty was kind, and fair. Rusty was a person who took interest in people and always wanted to be of help.
Rusty would not put up with sh*t.
I hope we can carry on in the same tradition with Rusty and Uncle Bill gone.
Rusty was a MAN I will miss.
- Joined
- Feb 23, 1999
- Messages
- 4,855
Rusty was a friend.
Rusty, during his time as a social worker, had seen things that no one should ever have to see, and lived with the memories.
A few weeks ago Rusty gave me advice on helping a suicidal friend. He had training in the area of suicide prevention. When he heard about abuses my friend endured that made her suicidal, it brought his memories flooding back.
He found it very hard, but he talked for me on the phone for a long time and gave me good advice. Then he express mailed a book to me that he thought I should read.
A man that sees demons and faces them, although he sees the horrors, I count as brave.
Rusty, during his time as a social worker, had seen things that no one should ever have to see, and lived with the memories.
A few weeks ago Rusty gave me advice on helping a suicidal friend. He had training in the area of suicide prevention. When he heard about abuses my friend endured that made her suicidal, it brought his memories flooding back.
He found it very hard, but he talked for me on the phone for a long time and gave me good advice. Then he express mailed a book to me that he thought I should read.
A man that sees demons and faces them, although he sees the horrors, I count as brave.
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2002
- Messages
- 2,845
Bill sort of let things take their own course on the forum. He would let you say most anything, even if he disagreed. Rusty was different. If something didn't sit well with him, he would let you know. I think they were great together - a balance that helped keep the forum lively without getting out of control.
Definitely a person of strong opinions, and wasn't afraid to have them. If they would help, he definitely shared. Many, many a first post or "Which khuk" question was answered with 16.5" WWII.
He was someone who had seen many things, and shared his wisdom generously where it was needed.
Definitely a person of strong opinions, and wasn't afraid to have them. If they would help, he definitely shared. Many, many a first post or "Which khuk" question was answered with 16.5" WWII.
He was someone who had seen many things, and shared his wisdom generously where it was needed.
Rusty was one of the first guys to welcome me here to the forum and was as nice in person as he was over the internet.
I hauled around a lot of iron with him at the first HI convention in Reno. He was as caring and considerate a guy as you could ever hope to meet.
And now he and Bill are both gone.
Rusty is such a huge loss here.
-David Kruk
I hauled around a lot of iron with him at the first HI convention in Reno. He was as caring and considerate a guy as you could ever hope to meet.
And now he and Bill are both gone.
Rusty is such a huge loss here.
-David Kruk
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2003
- Messages
- 13,182
I too would like to know more about Rusty. I talked to him via e mail a few times after he un banned me and he was always nice.
I can't believe he's dead. We all gave Uncle Bill a lot of grace and sympathy but I feel bad we never gave Rusty any. I'm assuming he was sick for a while?
I can't believe he's dead. We all gave Uncle Bill a lot of grace and sympathy but I feel bad we never gave Rusty any. I'm assuming he was sick for a while?
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2002
- Messages
- 2,845
March 22, 2005 - in the thread Uncle Bill started about his surgery.
For lack of anything better to do I've been using a pair of diagonal pliers to clip the incense to the right length to fit the abalone shell I use as a burner. Hey, as wiped out with flu as I am, that's something my mind can handle! Makes me feel I'm getting ahead instead of falling behind on smoke.
__________________
Rusty
3/16/2005
Stupidity is not a crime on the books, nor is it handled by the judiciary.
However, it is enforced by natural law and in extreme cases the penalty is death. Unrelenting, implacable and enforced on the spot. No appeals apply.
Those familiar will recognise the above, albeit a bit garbled, as a quote from Robert Anson Heinlein.
__________________
Rusty
3/16/2005
You are always included in smoke and prayers - whether your name is specifically remembered or not.
__________________
Rusty
3/15/2005
Trying to recall a quote - goes something like this:
"You live this land, a time, you listen to the many peoples, the rocks, the mountains, the trees, the fur peoples, you are Indian. You may be a rancher, hate Indians. But the land, it takes you."
Makes some sense to me. I'm not saying it makes you Indian, but you see possibilities, you see harmonies, you begin to feel things. My mystic or transcendant experience just happened to occur deep in the heart of the reservation I was working on at the time. It was a generic thing, Light, Joy, Healing, out of body experience that could have been Great-Grandfather, could have been the Christian God, Could have been Buddhist. But it left me with no doubt that whatever it was, something is out there and involved with us.
__________________
Rusty
(same thread)
Nice, polite discussion, and you guys should be proud of yourselves for keeping it open to those who think different.
This is one thread I'm going to close down while we are all ahead. I think most points have been represented. Hope this doesn't make anyone mad, but time to draw the line.
__________________
Rusty
3/15/2005
Clint Smith is also alleged to have said ( or maybe it was Jeff Cooper ) that if he could have his choice for a home defense gun it would" have wheels and a lanyard! "
__________________
Rusty
3/10/2005
Madness - there's madness here? It isn't catching, is it?
__________________
Rusty
3/8/2005
The one I'm trying to absorb lately is what a woman told a man -
" You don't have a Mean bone in your body, but you got plenty of Mad ones. "
If that was a plea bargain, Id jump on it!
__________________
Rusty
3/08/2005 (On struggles with DSL)
Oy Vey is Mir!
( And coming from a former Lutheran, that says something really odd!
Even before I say I'd convert to Buddhism in a minute if somebody could please explain it to me.
Good thing I have plenty of medication on hand, ainnit? )
__________________
Rusty
3/5/2005 - Visiting UB at St. Mary's
Glad that I was in a position where I could help. I was going to go up anyway - just went an extra half-hour further after Yangdu's call.
Darn it, now that I THINK of it should have taken him some pepper spray for protection!
__________________
Rusty
3/5/2005 (on Ferrous's absence)
At one time Uncle Bill had only two deadbeats on his list. It turned out he would be in the area where one lived, so he decided to drop by and check the guy out.
Turned out the deadbeat really was dead!
I expect that things will eventually resolve themselves.
__________________
Rusty
(Same thread)
No problem munk. I've worried too about Ferrous and Sarge, and others. If nothing comes up before tax time, get ahold of me by e-mail and we'll figure something out.
__________________
Rusty
12/2/2004
Will do. Like Kismet said, we look after our own ( at least we try )!
__________________
Rusty
12/31/2004 (Who is your favorite kami? thread)
Sanu for his Sun, Moon, and Stars forward curving. A masterpiece.
And of course, my 3 Bura 16.5" WW2's.
__________________
Rusty
12/31/2004
Anyone who would threaten to attack Yvsa has forgotten one thing:
Barb!
__________________
Rusty
12/27/2004
This isn't in the Christmas spirit, or so it seems to me. Let's wait till the new year to get unfriendly.
__________________
Rusty
12/25/2004
Didn't take Nam long to go stark raving bonkers once he found the forum, did it Bro?
__________________
Rusty
1/9/2005
Welcome to the flock or whatever ( you'll understand when you start getting fleeced every month and still come back for more ).
Amazing what the sweat and blood and toil of the kami's labor can do to impart a spirit into a knife, isn't it? An aliveness no machine made knife comes with - oh, it can become yours by years of use - but as Uncle Bill says, a handforged knife seems to pick it's rightful owner.
I've never had a JKM but the Kumar Kardas are something else. Enjoy!
__________________
Rusty
1/9/2005
I'll still be here in Hawthorne, Nevada when you get back.
Not quite a ghost town yet, but getting there. ( Ghosts are usually better neighbors anyway! )
__________________
Rusty
For lack of anything better to do I've been using a pair of diagonal pliers to clip the incense to the right length to fit the abalone shell I use as a burner. Hey, as wiped out with flu as I am, that's something my mind can handle! Makes me feel I'm getting ahead instead of falling behind on smoke.
__________________
Rusty
3/16/2005
Stupidity is not a crime on the books, nor is it handled by the judiciary.
However, it is enforced by natural law and in extreme cases the penalty is death. Unrelenting, implacable and enforced on the spot. No appeals apply.
Those familiar will recognise the above, albeit a bit garbled, as a quote from Robert Anson Heinlein.
__________________
Rusty
3/16/2005
You are always included in smoke and prayers - whether your name is specifically remembered or not.
__________________
Rusty
3/15/2005
Trying to recall a quote - goes something like this:
"You live this land, a time, you listen to the many peoples, the rocks, the mountains, the trees, the fur peoples, you are Indian. You may be a rancher, hate Indians. But the land, it takes you."
Makes some sense to me. I'm not saying it makes you Indian, but you see possibilities, you see harmonies, you begin to feel things. My mystic or transcendant experience just happened to occur deep in the heart of the reservation I was working on at the time. It was a generic thing, Light, Joy, Healing, out of body experience that could have been Great-Grandfather, could have been the Christian God, Could have been Buddhist. But it left me with no doubt that whatever it was, something is out there and involved with us.
__________________
Rusty
(same thread)
Nice, polite discussion, and you guys should be proud of yourselves for keeping it open to those who think different.
This is one thread I'm going to close down while we are all ahead. I think most points have been represented. Hope this doesn't make anyone mad, but time to draw the line.
__________________
Rusty
3/15/2005
Clint Smith is also alleged to have said ( or maybe it was Jeff Cooper ) that if he could have his choice for a home defense gun it would" have wheels and a lanyard! "
__________________
Rusty
3/10/2005
Madness - there's madness here? It isn't catching, is it?
__________________
Rusty
3/8/2005
The one I'm trying to absorb lately is what a woman told a man -
" You don't have a Mean bone in your body, but you got plenty of Mad ones. "
If that was a plea bargain, Id jump on it!
__________________
Rusty
3/08/2005 (On struggles with DSL)
Oy Vey is Mir!
( And coming from a former Lutheran, that says something really odd!
Even before I say I'd convert to Buddhism in a minute if somebody could please explain it to me.
Good thing I have plenty of medication on hand, ainnit? )
__________________
Rusty
3/5/2005 - Visiting UB at St. Mary's
Glad that I was in a position where I could help. I was going to go up anyway - just went an extra half-hour further after Yangdu's call.
Darn it, now that I THINK of it should have taken him some pepper spray for protection!
__________________
Rusty
3/5/2005 (on Ferrous's absence)
At one time Uncle Bill had only two deadbeats on his list. It turned out he would be in the area where one lived, so he decided to drop by and check the guy out.
Turned out the deadbeat really was dead!
I expect that things will eventually resolve themselves.
__________________
Rusty
(Same thread)
No problem munk. I've worried too about Ferrous and Sarge, and others. If nothing comes up before tax time, get ahold of me by e-mail and we'll figure something out.
__________________
Rusty
12/2/2004
Will do. Like Kismet said, we look after our own ( at least we try )!
__________________
Rusty
12/31/2004 (Who is your favorite kami? thread)
Sanu for his Sun, Moon, and Stars forward curving. A masterpiece.
And of course, my 3 Bura 16.5" WW2's.
__________________
Rusty
12/31/2004
Anyone who would threaten to attack Yvsa has forgotten one thing:
Barb!
__________________
Rusty
12/27/2004
This isn't in the Christmas spirit, or so it seems to me. Let's wait till the new year to get unfriendly.
__________________
Rusty
12/25/2004
Didn't take Nam long to go stark raving bonkers once he found the forum, did it Bro?
__________________
Rusty
1/9/2005
Welcome to the flock or whatever ( you'll understand when you start getting fleeced every month and still come back for more ).
Amazing what the sweat and blood and toil of the kami's labor can do to impart a spirit into a knife, isn't it? An aliveness no machine made knife comes with - oh, it can become yours by years of use - but as Uncle Bill says, a handforged knife seems to pick it's rightful owner.
I've never had a JKM but the Kumar Kardas are something else. Enjoy!
__________________
Rusty
1/9/2005
I'll still be here in Hawthorne, Nevada when you get back.
Not quite a ghost town yet, but getting there. ( Ghosts are usually better neighbors anyway! )
__________________
Rusty
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2002
- Messages
- 2,845
This one deserves a separate post:
1/7/2005
Death is neccesary to resurection.
The child must die to become a teenager. The single person must die to become married, The couple must die to embrace children, the family must die as children beome adults. From each death there comes the flowering of new growth.
WILL THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN
One by one their chairs were empty
One by one they went away
Here the circle has been broken
Will it be complete one day?
Will the circle be unbroken
Bye and bye Lord bye and bye
In a better home awaiting
In the sky Lord in the sky
The Circle that has been broken here will indeed be compete one day.
A while after my father's passing I had a strong sense he was near. And he was. Don't rule it happening to you out. Blessings to all of you.
__________________
Rusty
1/7/2005
Death is neccesary to resurection.
The child must die to become a teenager. The single person must die to become married, The couple must die to embrace children, the family must die as children beome adults. From each death there comes the flowering of new growth.
WILL THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN
One by one their chairs were empty
One by one they went away
Here the circle has been broken
Will it be complete one day?
Will the circle be unbroken
Bye and bye Lord bye and bye
In a better home awaiting
In the sky Lord in the sky
The Circle that has been broken here will indeed be compete one day.
A while after my father's passing I had a strong sense he was near. And he was. Don't rule it happening to you out. Blessings to all of you.
__________________
Rusty
- Joined
- Nov 3, 1998
- Messages
- 4,331
I feel I have to be a little plain-spoken when speaking of Rusty.
Rusty had a beautiful heart that had seen a lot of pain. He was eager to help who he could, but he didn't take any crap.
And he knew a lot about firearms. I liked that. I guess Bill was the one I aspired to be like, and Rusty was the one who often seemed like an older me, maybe with not all the answers, but on the path, and willing to risk being hurt some more if he could help.
I'll miss 'em both a hell of a lot.
John
Rusty had a beautiful heart that had seen a lot of pain. He was eager to help who he could, but he didn't take any crap.
And he knew a lot about firearms. I liked that. I guess Bill was the one I aspired to be like, and Rusty was the one who often seemed like an older me, maybe with not all the answers, but on the path, and willing to risk being hurt some more if he could help.
I'll miss 'em both a hell of a lot.
John
- Joined
- Jun 9, 1999
- Messages
- 4,729
I always knew that Rusty would pop up if there was a gun thread. He was a small guy with a big heart who never went unarmed. You have to respect that. This was one of his more memorable recent posts for me.
Rusty said:OT: I'm so ashamed of myself (yeah, sure!)
Almost a year back I was looking for a Savage 99, as Gun Parts Corp had a 358 barrel for sale, and if I found one in 243 or 308, it would fit. A friend told me of a guy that had one for sale. I checked, and he had one in 308 for sale for $250, but he was waiting to hear from his kid to call back on it. I checked back the next day and the kid took it, but he was selling stuff to build a 1911 45 auto, and told me to come back the following day cause he had another 308 I might be interested in.
Next day he showed it to me inside the shop. It was really bright outside so my eyes didn't see so good. Told me it was a G1, so I figured it must have been an earlier version of the G3/CETME design. Looked odd to me, but it was a semi-auto, came with two 20 mags, and he didn't want that much so I took it anyway.
Later found out what it was, and to be on the safe side I bought seven US compliance parts. Cost $110 for (1)butt, (2)pistol grip, (30forend/handguard from Tapco (CAI mfgr), (4)hammer/(5)trigger/(6)sear and (7)gas piston from RPB (FSE mfgr). Oh, and it doesn't count toward compliance, but I paid $8 for a carry handle. And $50 for 10 like new 20 round mags. That comes to $168 plus the $250 I paid for the gun. $418 total, plus shipping for parts.
Anyone figure out what I lucked into yet? Does saying it's got an Imbel receiver give you a hint? Gorgeous grey parkerizing? That I'm thinking of adding another US compliance part, a charging handle assembly so I can leave the original metal handguard with bipod on it?
Should I be ashamed of myself for paying $250 to that nice old man for an FAL?
Nasty
Chief Cook & Bottle Wash
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2003
- Messages
- 5,924
I've struggled with this thread...
To me, Rusty never was a "quotable quotes" sort of man...
Every response was selected, considered, weighed, valued and tailored for his intended receiver, even when that wasn't obvious to the rest of us and it seemed as if he were speaking directly to each of us. There were no canned answers...he always spoke directly to the issue, problem, joke, person...whatever it was.
Every bit of what he wrote was original, honest and direct...just as he was.
His *Great Heart* will be missed by all...but also carried forward and shared with others by many...I think that is his legacy to us.
.
To me, Rusty never was a "quotable quotes" sort of man...
Every response was selected, considered, weighed, valued and tailored for his intended receiver, even when that wasn't obvious to the rest of us and it seemed as if he were speaking directly to each of us. There were no canned answers...he always spoke directly to the issue, problem, joke, person...whatever it was.
Every bit of what he wrote was original, honest and direct...just as he was.
His *Great Heart* will be missed by all...but also carried forward and shared with others by many...I think that is his legacy to us.
.
When I finally met Rusty in person I laughed, but wasn't really surprised. Who was this limping Gnome? He had so many maladies. I don't know them all. Never really thought to ask about most of them. He couldn't hear. He had a long beard. ( You don't think that's a malady? You should see mine) His foot was bad and he limped terribly. His skull was lion-like, disproportionate, and of course he'd had facial surgery. There was more, too. But the number one impression, I cannot remove it to this day nor will I ever surrender this belief, is that God put so much Light into him the vessel couldn't hold. I told him so. He was cracked.
You know how well he wrote? Well, he existed even more. The speech impediment became a filter through which only the most essential material would arrive. I learned this on the phone right away- you'd better listen to Rusty- most those pauses were over your head if you brushed them aside- to your limitation. You had to listen.
I was sleep apneaic, tired, with two small sons, drove for 3 days, and though I really wasn't 'on'; Rusty was delighted with me. For my part, I just wanted to walk into the desert with him.
When I found HI I'd lost, not too far in the distant past, my best friends. Both older men, very talented, mentors, who I trusted and loved very deeply. I was through with that. We had Bill and Bill was great. We had Walosi and he was deep, and we had Yvsa and he was wonderful. But I was done with heros. God puts people into your path, not very often, maybe only once or twice a lifetime if you're lucky, that not only reaffirm friendship, but are a direct conduit to the Great Heart. It's Ok. You're not alone. Here is water.
We have men like that on HI forum.
I was making a way, it wasn't a great way, but it was mine, I guess.
Rusty and I were always freinds since I'd arrived here. But something changed over the years. I talked to him either on net or phone every week.
I went to see Bill one Summer, and told him in person that when he left us, I wouldn't let Rusty down. I'd be there. Bill didn't laugh at me or anything- though some of you may recall when he was healthier the gentle teasing Bill would sometimes give me over my more, 'serious' posts. He just nodded. He knew what Rusty felt about him. Rusty wasn't my mentor, but that's how I felt about Rusty; he was my best friend. Bill was probably thinking Rusty could take care of himself, but didn't say that.
When I got drunk Rusty told me to get sober. He didn't say, 'stupid *******', though he could have. And that gentle firmness characterized his way of looking at life.
I emailed Bill after seeing Rusty. "You told me he was smart, you didn't tell me he was a godurned Genuis." I said. "You could have warned me." Bill just laughed. I've read more books than most of you ever will- I didn't have a childhood; I read books. But Rusty remembered all those books. It used to drive me crazy I couldn't answer tit for tat. But a quart of vodka each day does not make Dostoyevski any clearer ten years later. Rusty retained everything. But he never made me or you feel anything other than on his level.
His level was our level, you see; it was Life. He knew it. I never found him in false pride. Oh, I probably would have eventually, I'm a silly bean counter; but you get the idea. I know many of his harder decisions around here were not always agreed with. I didn't agree with some. But I'll tell you this, if there was misunderstanding with Rusty, it was because someone wasn't listening. He had a heart of pure gold. I'm certain he could have done a few things better, like all of us. But what he did was damned great, and the heart and kindness and humor and humility was an example, and stands in a forum of exceptional people.
This week we've been waiting for Rusty to return. We've known Bill was passing for a long time. We knew Rusty would help the process of going on. I waited and waited. He was in mourning, I knew. I'll bet many of you did not approach Yangdu at all, but wanted Rusty to tell us how and what was best to met Bill's families needs. I was waiting too.
Now we know he's not coming back.
Nasty tells me he's still here.
God, I hope so. It's happened to me again. I came here and knew I was older and more independent. And now my heart is broken, like it happens every time.
That's life. I'm not gone yet. Still here, though I've done my best to mute the process.
I told him I'd be there for the end. I told him I wanted this understood between us- I wasn't just his friend. Out of his head full of art and literature and science he found an allegory; he mentioned someone who'd journeyed into Hell to get his friend out. He said he'd do that for me.
I think he'd do that for this forum, and did, many of the days of his life.
I will miss him all the rest of mine.
If there is a place after, his is with the first hands I want to grab and shake upon arrival.
Thank you for allowing me to say this. I don't want to take any more of our time, and I know I've spoken personally in a public forum, and that sometimes makes people uncomfortable.
He loved this forum.
munk
You know how well he wrote? Well, he existed even more. The speech impediment became a filter through which only the most essential material would arrive. I learned this on the phone right away- you'd better listen to Rusty- most those pauses were over your head if you brushed them aside- to your limitation. You had to listen.
I was sleep apneaic, tired, with two small sons, drove for 3 days, and though I really wasn't 'on'; Rusty was delighted with me. For my part, I just wanted to walk into the desert with him.
When I found HI I'd lost, not too far in the distant past, my best friends. Both older men, very talented, mentors, who I trusted and loved very deeply. I was through with that. We had Bill and Bill was great. We had Walosi and he was deep, and we had Yvsa and he was wonderful. But I was done with heros. God puts people into your path, not very often, maybe only once or twice a lifetime if you're lucky, that not only reaffirm friendship, but are a direct conduit to the Great Heart. It's Ok. You're not alone. Here is water.
We have men like that on HI forum.
I was making a way, it wasn't a great way, but it was mine, I guess.
Rusty and I were always freinds since I'd arrived here. But something changed over the years. I talked to him either on net or phone every week.
I went to see Bill one Summer, and told him in person that when he left us, I wouldn't let Rusty down. I'd be there. Bill didn't laugh at me or anything- though some of you may recall when he was healthier the gentle teasing Bill would sometimes give me over my more, 'serious' posts. He just nodded. He knew what Rusty felt about him. Rusty wasn't my mentor, but that's how I felt about Rusty; he was my best friend. Bill was probably thinking Rusty could take care of himself, but didn't say that.
When I got drunk Rusty told me to get sober. He didn't say, 'stupid *******', though he could have. And that gentle firmness characterized his way of looking at life.
I emailed Bill after seeing Rusty. "You told me he was smart, you didn't tell me he was a godurned Genuis." I said. "You could have warned me." Bill just laughed. I've read more books than most of you ever will- I didn't have a childhood; I read books. But Rusty remembered all those books. It used to drive me crazy I couldn't answer tit for tat. But a quart of vodka each day does not make Dostoyevski any clearer ten years later. Rusty retained everything. But he never made me or you feel anything other than on his level.
His level was our level, you see; it was Life. He knew it. I never found him in false pride. Oh, I probably would have eventually, I'm a silly bean counter; but you get the idea. I know many of his harder decisions around here were not always agreed with. I didn't agree with some. But I'll tell you this, if there was misunderstanding with Rusty, it was because someone wasn't listening. He had a heart of pure gold. I'm certain he could have done a few things better, like all of us. But what he did was damned great, and the heart and kindness and humor and humility was an example, and stands in a forum of exceptional people.
This week we've been waiting for Rusty to return. We've known Bill was passing for a long time. We knew Rusty would help the process of going on. I waited and waited. He was in mourning, I knew. I'll bet many of you did not approach Yangdu at all, but wanted Rusty to tell us how and what was best to met Bill's families needs. I was waiting too.
Now we know he's not coming back.
Nasty tells me he's still here.
God, I hope so. It's happened to me again. I came here and knew I was older and more independent. And now my heart is broken, like it happens every time.
That's life. I'm not gone yet. Still here, though I've done my best to mute the process.
I told him I'd be there for the end. I told him I wanted this understood between us- I wasn't just his friend. Out of his head full of art and literature and science he found an allegory; he mentioned someone who'd journeyed into Hell to get his friend out. He said he'd do that for me.
I think he'd do that for this forum, and did, many of the days of his life.
I will miss him all the rest of mine.
If there is a place after, his is with the first hands I want to grab and shake upon arrival.
Thank you for allowing me to say this. I don't want to take any more of our time, and I know I've spoken personally in a public forum, and that sometimes makes people uncomfortable.
He loved this forum.
munk